March 25, 2013
Needle aversion notwithstanding, I’ve had a long-running desire to give blood. For science?
Maybe it’s the one thing I want to do to fit in because a) Lord knows I don’t care that I don’t “fit in” anywhere else; b) it feels chumpish not to when just about everyone I know can.
Maybe it’s because these past several years, I’ve lost so many dear family and friends to dementia, cancer, heart disease, accidents and medical complications and there was never a damn thing I could do about it. “Helpless” is not a mode I play well on. So maybe giving something of myself, literally, seems to be the only thing that feels like a tangible help.
Sadly, it’s been years since I discovered that the blood bank was serious about their weight limit. And that none of my friends were willing to go along with an illicit donation – they don’t actually weigh you, after all. Apparently friends think that giving that much blood for my body weight would be a problem. Even arguing that some blood draws ordered by the doctor took at least half a pint or more didn’t convince anyone and PiC would just give me The Look. I remain unconvinced that it would be a problem. “What’s the worst that could happen?” occurs to me but I’m not totally willing to risk it alone in case I do pass out… or whatever.
Blood donation drives: the one time my weight makes me feel totally worthless. Dammit.
Then I got to thinking that…
Be the Match blood marrow donations would be a Good Thing: no weight requirement and Asian donors are lacking in the registry. Let me try to Be A Match!
But guess what? Too defective for that. ><
It feels like I’m standing outside banging on the window of society. Hullooo! Have I got today’s leprosy? Grump.
Mid-month I finally decided it was time to chop off the hair.
Tired of sitting on it, and tired of shedding a mini-me every day, I crowdsourced my new style and headed off to the salon.
@PhysicistLisa asked if I meant to donate it since I mentioned a specific length. Ah-ha! Yes indeed! It was quite long enough for that! And I never dye my hair or anything so it’s in good shape. WHEE. Even the shortest layers were about 8 inches, the longest layers measured 12 inches. And that was with the lady cutting a less generous length because she didn’t believe how short I wanted to go.
All that was left was to decide where to send it. I hadn’t made time to research the various possible organizations when this lovely post from A Practical Wedding’s team popped up: Pantene Beautiful Lengths it is!
They only accept the hair they can use with clear instructions on what that is, they give the wigs away to cancer patients and they don’t sell your hair. This is important to me.
The donation lifts a pall over my heart. I haven’t had short hair since I lived with and helped my parents directly, since I still had a mom, our last time together was when it was long, at the courthouse. Cutting it, though I’ve never been attached to hair for appearances’ sake, was a reminder of all this. But this feels right.
And since my recent changes in banking yielded a new set of checks sent in a plastic envelope actually intended for reuse, the stars were clearly aligned. The envelope’s packed, addressed and ready to mail. I’m excited. I’m finally good for something. 🙂
Can you donate blood? Are you registered for the marrow registry? (Or can you be?) Would you donate your hair if it was long enough?
September 1, 2009
Note: It’s official. The iPhone is smarter than I. At Starbucks, while I struggled to get away from the we’re-gonna-charge-you T-Mobile hotspot, struggled to connect through the AT&T hub, and then find my username and password, the iPhone had quietly hijacked my single 2-hour daily session and was merrily checking email. All. On. Its. Own. It didn’t even need to log in!! Jerk!
As this recession plods on, this list may become relevant or useful in your life. (I surely hope not!) But if it does, now you too can avoid foot-in-mouth disease!
Courtesy of WomenCo’s Alice Handley and Tania Khadder:
1. “Are you freaked out?” [Duh. I mean, unless you’re truly close to this person and know they won’t be freaked out by the suggestion that they should be freaked out, and you can’t tell if they are … don’t put that out there.]
2. “Do you know what you did to deserve it?” [I’ve got to wonder if people really ask this. Honestly? If you must know the probable cause, try “Do you know what happened?” Maybe.]
3. “You’re not unemployed, you’re funemployed!” [Patronizing as all get out. Just DON’T.]
4. “Have you started applying for new jobs yet?” [They probably have. I should hope they have. But even if they haven’t, still reeling from the shock, I’d just be annoyed at the implication or pressure. But I’m contrary and prefer to be responsible on my own terms, not under pressure.]
5. “Have you thought about temping?” [Same as above.]
6. “Was it just you? Or did others get laid off too?” The authors say: This question implies that your friend’s layoff is palatable (or not) depending on who else got laid off at the same time. Does it really matter? What if it was just your friend? Do you really want to remind them that they were the only person at their company who was considered expendable on that particular day?
[Personally, maybe because the axe is falling everywhere and I knew my particular situation had zero to do with my personal performance or worth, this didn’t bother me as much.]
7. “Have you filed for unemployment yet?” Authors: This presumes that your friend is even going to be applying for unemployment in the first place and that he’s actually eligible for it. Remember that some people have a hard time admitting that they need outside assistance. It’s hard enough for some of us to accept that we need help (or god forbid, “charity”) in the first place, let alone having to talk about it to other people.
[Eh. As a PF blogger, if a fellow blogger brought up a layoff I’m sure this would be the first we discussed. Well, that or the emergency fund. As a finance-obsessed layperson, my friends know that I’d be concerned for their financial well-being.]
8. ” I can get you a new job!” [and the job is totally inappropriate] Authors: While the sentiment is appreciated, you’re presuming that the person you’re talking to is totally desperate for a job. A former Director of Marketing probably isn’t interested in waiting tables, and a pastry chef probably wouldn’t want to apply for a job in the Human Resources department.
While it’s definitely good to keep an eye out for your friends, don’t assume they’ll do just anything for a living. If you want to help, make sure you’re aware of what your friend wants before you start reaching out to contacts.
[Again, sort of duh.]
9. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” “And when life takes away my lemons?”
10. “Everything happens for a reason.” Authors: To the person being laid off, no reason seems like a very good one — and right after a layoff, it’s not easy to adopt a more long term, philosophical approach. Once the layoff has had time to sink in and the layoffee starts taking steps to get back on their feet, they might be able to see the bigger picture. Until then, be sensitive to their grief and understand that the situation is not ideal. End of story.
[Again, cliches = patronizing.]
My absolute least favorite? 11. You’ll be fine.
Whatever happened to “I’m sorry to hear that, is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to talk about it?”
I’ve heard every single of the above platitudes more than once, and my reaction is basically degrees of annoyance. After a while it stops mattering but still, folks who haven’t had time to digest their new circumstances aren’t going to take it all that well. And if you’re a friend, they deserve a little more thoughtfulness than the drivel most people spout.
Now, do excuse me. I’ve run out of cookies and I desperately need more.
August 12, 2009
Evidently, according to reader K of Frugal Zeitgeist, only those unemployment claims filed before June 15th are eligible for the massively extended benefits.
Since K is in NYC, I figured I’d better check out the CA site to make sure I know what’s what. According to the informational PDF, Miss M is right that the claims balance is the amount I can claim before running out of money:
The maximum amount of a regular UI claim is either 26 times the claimant’s weekly benefi t amount or one-half of the claimant’s base period wages, whichever is less.
Both the Federal government and California have their own extended benefits programs that will kick in:
only when unemployment is very high. This program pays additional benefits to those who qualify and have collected all of the benefits on their regular claims and
who are not eligible for any other UI claims. The EDD will notify individuals by mail and/or through the media when they become potentially eligible for these benefits.
Under Fed-ED, claimants who have exhausted their regular UI claim may be eligible to collect up to 13 additional weeks of compensation if a Fed-ED period is in effect. Once activated, the Fed-ED period must continue in effect for at least 13 weeks. When the program is deactivated, it must remain inactive for at least 13 weeks.
And then for California:
California has its own state-financed extended benefits program. The benefits paid under this program are from the state UI fund. The trigger mechanism for the Cal-ED program is similar to Fed-ED. Under either Cal-ED or Fed-ED, an individual receives up to one-half of the regular UI base claim. Therefore, any claimant who has
received the full amount of extended benefits on a Fed-ED claim cannot qualify for a Cal-ED claim based on the same base claim.
Obviously I don’t PLAN to remain unemployed for so long that I need to use the extended benefits programs, but it’s best to be informed.
January 23, 2008
Puppies are soooo cute … and cuddly, and adorable, and lovable. Right up until they break your pants.
Alright, so little Miss M is still cute, but I’ve learned my lesson about trusting her off the leash: don’t!
She’s still a youngun, so I should have known better, but she’d been so complacent and trustworthy all day that when I took her out to do her business before we left work for the day, I didn’t bother to clip on her leash. Why bother? She’d been impossible to motivate beyond eating, drinking, sleeping and occasionally peeing the entire day. Uh-huh. The dang dog’s nocturnal!
We went outside and she moseyed around the planters, sniffing and twitching her tail, checking out possible Hot Spots. The second I stopped paying attention, she bolted for the center of the biggest, most overgrown planter in the courtyard. I jumped right in after her, grabbed for her collar and *shhhcrack!* I stopped. Dead in my tracks. Uhm-hm. That dog made me bust my jeans open.
*shaking head*
I couldn’t believe how breezy it was, suddenly. Luckily, it was dark, we were alone outside, and I had a long shirt on that almost covered up the hole.
After I got over my fit of giggles, I hauled Little Miss Wriggly back into the office, and clipped that leash right on. *tsk* See if I ever trust her again!
R reminded me to try the Stitch Witchery bonding tape from my sewing kit. The tear was straight, extending from the corner of my pocket up to the waistband, so I found some cute green ladybug scrap fabric, and gave it a whirl. The jeans are hanging up to dry now, but it looks like the bonding tape did the job and sealed up the edges of the hole perfectly. Now I can add some stitching to reinforce the repair job, and hide the fact that my jeans had a temporary back door.
In the meantime, I inducted my backup jeans from the New York trip into the jeans rotations. It can sub in for the other jeans until they’re all better. Thank goodness for back-up clothing!
October 9, 2007
Tomorrow is payday. I’m $200 short in the expense account. The original plan was to take the money out of savings, and then pay it back from the expense account allocation. But since the expense allocation is calculated to exactly as much as I need per month for bills (aka: STINGY), this deficit won’t go away magically, not just because I SAY I’ll pay back the savings account later. I could rob the insurance savings account to pay the expense account. Not exactly the most farsighted option.
It’s not that I absolutely couldn’t take it out of savings. I don’t want to. You know how there are some things you do that make you FEEL like you’re making progress, even if only by hanging on tooth and nail? NOT touching savings is my thing. Feeling good doesn’t pay the bills, though.
There’s this upcoming trip to NY, as well.
Hm, this all came about because of that stupid truck, and my apathy in making good my threat. It’s only been two months, three counting this month, since BroDucky has missed payments, but that was more than enough time to eat up my entire expenses cushion. $400 a month is NOT pocket change!! Shame on me. Anyway, like a fool who doesn’t want to replace the windshield and deal with the car sale because I’m incredibly busy working on other side projects, I swallowed my fury and spoke civilly to him yesterday. The upshot of the conversation is though I think his “thanks for all that you’ve done and continue to do” is B.S., he’s starting a new construction job tomorrow and may actually try to redeem himself and help out. It can’t hurt if he actually does come through, right?
So, the action plan is thus:
I give him until the 19th to come through with a positive response. Meanwhile, I’ll research windshield replacement shops, and have that ready in case he doesn’t come through. I will go to New York and enjoy m’darned self, and spend no more than $300 and not worry that I don’t actually have it, because I will actually have it later. This will be my one shot at having fun regardless of when the money’s coming. This will be my play-money cut from the bonus, even though I was not planning on playing with any of that. It’s an investment in my sanity and it will be ok.