February 7, 2018
After I knew he had the signed title in hand, I emailed instructions on completing the process. I’d done everything needed short of signing his name, including filling out the statement of use, verifying that this was a family transfer and therefore should be free, but of course it still took him five days to bother to confirm receipt and, naturally, offer an excuse not to complete it.
The registration was due in a month, which is no impediment to transferring because you don’t have to pay til the due date, duh, he claimed he wouldn’t be allowed to re-title without paying the registration so I’d have to wait for him to scrape up that money.
(more…)
January 31, 2018
Shutterfly has this feature where they randomly email you “look what you were doing 3 or 5 or 12 years ago!” Sometimes they pick moments like JB’s birth, sometimes they pick a barely memorable random date from our first year together.
It makes me smile sometimes to see how much we’ve changed. You can’t see it in pictures alone (except for the hair – I used to have much better hair and my eyebrows were excellent) but I remember who we were back then.
Our Relationship
I’m so glad that PiC wasn’t as cool as I thought he was. (He laughed at the very thought.) We are both huge dorks, that what makes us fit. We’ve made lots of good memories, and had plenty of downs to go with the ups, but we also appreciate each other more deeply now.
Admittedly we have gone to having just about zero time for each other, solely each other, these days and that’s not good. But we don’t resent it, it’s a result of our choices and we’re still prioritizing each other in the daily choices we make. We’ll make some changes this year, like hiring a sitter on occasion, but I’m not going to worry about it. As long as we keep looking out for each other, we can’t go too far wrong.
(more…)
January 29, 2018
On occasion, we receive gift money in varying amounts and while I always know what to do with it, I don’t know how to write about that money.
When it’s a $5 or $10 red envelope for JuggerBaby, that’s easy. Savings, call it side money.
But when it’s a substantial gift to zir 529 fund or to one of us from, say, a relative disbursing money ahead of their passing as part of their estate tax strategy, what do I do with that? It feels somewhat dishonest not to discuss it when I talk about our savings and money strategies.
But am I being dishonest if I don’t discuss it?
(more…)
January 24, 2018
I’ve been battling back some seriously expensive impulses lately. It’s been months of being grumpy because my rational side knows it’s right. It’s not the right time or it’s not in the budget for us, given our financial goals.
My irrational sliver of self continues to whisper and it’s frustrating the snickets out of me. It continues to say, “yes, but ….” HUSH, YOU.
I make pragmatic decisions every single day, regardless of what I wished or hoped or wanted. It’s easy because my first priority is to be efficient and effective. So why won’t my whole self settle down?
This is my attempt to work out what the problem is.
It’s relatively easy to say that we will go to Japan for a three week food fest or Australia and New Zealand to hike for a month someday but not this year because I don’t want to leave Seamus that long. I’m still traumatized. Those are my castles in the sky. I know the kind of money we’ll need to have ready to spend, and we are not ready to spend 5 stacks of money on a vacation between dogsitting (3 weeks away would cost at least $1000!), airfare for three, lodgings, food, and so on. Time off isn’t easy to come by right now, either, but that’s neither here nor there without the money piece settled.
I’m fine with giving up some things now so that we can have financial freedom later when it’s going to be critical for my health to have that freedom – we moderate eating out and travel, for example. We don’t stop them, we just don’t do it every week. But some thoughts keep chugging around my brain like they’re stuck on a toy train track, refusing to accept the pragmatic “No.”
(more…)
January 22, 2018
This is old hat for old hands in the PF blogging world but in direct contrast to my move toward simplification in our investment holdings, I’ve finally decided to “complicate” our cash savings and set up a proper ladder. A CD ladder!
All of 2017, I’ve been fiddling with our cash reserves because it feels foolish to hold so much cash but it also feels foolish to invest when stocks are at all-time highs. Conflict!
On January 1 2017 I rashly threw a huge amount of cash into long term (5 year) CDs at Ally. I had no plans for this cash so why not? Then the neighbor happened. Dammit. When you break a 5 year CD early, you lose 6 months of interest, so I scraped cash together every other way I could before July 1 to pay for the house reno to avoid cashing out my CDs for less than the principal I put in. I knew those terms going in but on Jan 1st, it sure didn’t SEEM like there was any reason to need that money in less than a year. Fool.
(more…)
January 15, 2018
Quick recap – It was time to cut off my father who I’ve supported for nearly 20 years. I grieved, then started the process.
For several days, I ignored that manipulative email convincing me to keep helping. After closing my bank account that he had deposit-access to, so that he can’t deposit any cash in an attempt to twist my arm into writing more checks for him, I found calmness in my soul again.
With that protection, I responded to that email with a faux-contrite decline to provide further funds saying that I couldn’t come up with anything extra.
That’s not precisely true, when I have to, I can usually find a way to scrape money together but I’m simply not willing to take a second job to support him again. I phrased that as “I can’t”.
We are truthfully groaning under the weight of our current obligations: a five digit annual bill for property tax, a five digit annual bill for daycare with two increases expected this year, a merely terrifying mortgage, and corresponding insurances but all that aside, he doesn’t need, or get, to know the true state of our finances when he doesn’t care about our well-being. In a world where my Dad loved me, he would have expressed concern for us when I described our faux financial distress even if there was nothing he could do about it. In reality, he didn’t reply for weeks.
(more…)
January 10, 2018
Like Military Dollar, sometimes I have a collection of thoughts that aren’t full-post worthy.
I scored 10 out of 15 on J. Money’s 15 things to do to be above average. That’s a failing grade by normal standards, but I don’t feel bad about it.
- Build a starter emergency fund of $1,000: 1 point.
- Organize your important financial information in a binder or eFile: 0.5 point, this is mostly done but needs more organization.
- Develop a monthly budget habit: 0 point, we track spending but stopped budgeting traditionally.
- Pay off all of your debts: negative points! well, 0. Damn you, new mortgage!
- Build a mid-level emergency fund of $10,000: 1 point. I require at least a year of liquid reserves.
- Be aware of your credit score: 1 point, I don’t check this regularly but we just applied for a mortgage so we’re in the 800s.
- Earn extra income: 1 point, I do a bit extra but I don’t necessarily agree this should be on the list. Sometimes your primary incomes are just fine.
- Read the top personal finance books: 0, I don’t read PF books, I read blogs.
- Automate your savings: 1 point, YES! I DO THIS.
- Automate your bills: 1/2 point, I automate the ones that make sense.
- Automate investing: 1 point, retirement and 529 investing is automated, brokerage investing takes more work.
- Write a 5 year financial plan: 0 point right now, I used to do 5 year plans but I need a new financial plan with details!
- Start maxing out your retirement account every year: 1 point, I finally got this together.
- Complete your emergency fund so you have at least 6 months’ expenses saved: 1 point, yes, as above, we need a year for me not to grow Baby Ulcer.
(more…)