October 30, 2009
I have no problems with making sure that my purely personal friendships jive well when money’s involved; I pay my way and assist friends in need within reason, we’re honest with each other about our limits, and it generally works out pretty well. I have no problem with keeping my business money separate from personal money in a corporate environment, and generally dining out with the office has always been fairly straightforward: the office paid. But what of the gray area in between? Specifically, when you’re networking and not interviewing with or working for the person you’re dining with?
From a purely business perspective, my friend/mentor advised me not to quibble over who paid the bill when I dined out with an older, successful, networking acquaintance. “He can most certainly afford it, he invited you, and he can always write it off,” she asserts. These points were all true, at the time. The person in question is both gracious and helpful whenever possible leads come up, and has since taken the initiative to point me and my resume at highly placed persons who were interviewing for desirable positions. [At which point it’s up to me so that there isn’t impropriety or influence on my behalf which I would never ask for or expect.]
But what happens when the acquaintance morphs into a semi-friendship? When you’re meeting to catch up and tell stories, it’s no longer 100% business. I feel like that development then brings with it the obligation to offer to, and even insist on, paying sometimes. It’s only fair. I don’t want my acquaintance/now friend to think that I simply expect a great meal at his expense; that’s certainly not the case.
I’m aware that insisting on footing the bill when he has selected the restaurant, when he is more than financially comfortable [yes, finances have come up in the conversation in a career-related turn], and/or when I am unemployed seems to smack more of irrational pride than sense. But I’m unemployed, not destitute, and it hardly seems right to assume that I shouldn’t pay simply because I don’t have access to a corporate account. That seems like a recipe for brewing resentment; the line of reasoning that “you have more money than I, so let’s use your resources, thanks!” doesn’t sit well with me. Neither party’s resources should determine who pays. It can certainly influence the selection of the experience, but I think fair means that both parties take it in turn to pay.
How does the financial relationship change when your business relationship acquires shades of the personal? How should it?
[Disclosure: This post is also published at the Carnival of Personal Finance.]
October 26, 2009
Hel-lo, GCal! Where have you been all my life?
I’ve finally cracked down and logged all my classwork on the calendar, quizzes, homework, etc., and figured out how to get three weeks’ worth of work done over the next seven days to make sure that schoolwork doesn’t follow me on my trips. GCal sends me annoying helpful reminder emails when events on the calendar approach or should be happening, which is great because I’m still getting the hang of it.
During that time, I’m also ….
1) logging about 12 hours of babysitting time to help out my friends who have doctor’s appointment and bad backs. Between the three of us, you might be able to construct one fully functional human sans aches and pains.
2) visiting a cousin (maybe)
3) packing and making a shopping list for clothing I might need depending on the NY weather
4) paying bills
5) making an insanely decadent mac and cheese for friend’s Halloween hang-out night.
Am I missing anything? Oh yes, actual studying. You know, so I can take those exams without failing. That’d be nice.
September 26, 2009
Posting here has fallen off for a number of reasons and it’s frustrating because I feel like nothing’s getting done. Now that’s a weird way to look at it. You’d think blogging would get in the way of accomplishing stuff, not facilitate it. Anyhow, like MoneyMateKate, things on the financial front are relatively stagnant. Medical matters have kept me away from home, supporting one sick friend + family after another these two weeks. It must have been three weeks ago that I twittered about my friend’s husband hospitalization in a diabetic coma. She’s been leaning on me pretty heavily since then for company as well as emotional support.
There are tons of things that need doing, I just don’t wanna. Heck, I don’t even want to write this post because that means I’ll feel guilty and have to get going and take care of them. 🙂
Pack your bags, we’re going on a guilt trip!
School started three or four days ago. 1. I still don’t have my books. I should have ordered them three weeks ago to save on shipping. I even made up a spreadsheet comparing costs of Amazon.com vs. Chegg.com vs. library (availability) vs. paperbackswap.com (availability). Too bad the actual ordering didn’t happen, now Chegg will take 4-7 business days to deliver the books. What is this, college all over again??
2. I’m still perusing the syllabi and wondering if perhaps I was too ambitious taking two classes to start. That right there sounds like a pansy talkin’.
3. Quizzes. Ugh. There’s a practice test posted right now. Ugh.
On the bright side, I’m really glad that I paid the extra money and signed up for online courses this quarter. This whole situation would have been impossible if I’d moved to the LA area and taken classes on campus.
Work. I volunteered to intern with this fella who can teach me Photoshop and InDesign a couple days a week, but that’s been utterly derailed because of the family stuff. Not much I can do there because I have to actually be there in the office to learn and work. He knows what’s going on, though.
I was also offered a possible internship opportunity with a financial services firm if I like my finance classes. Again, demands on my time need to be prioritized.
Travel. Dragging my feet on scheduling any travel because even though I really want to be away from home, travel itself is getting old. You know the restless out-of-place sort of feeling when you’re ready to be back in your comfy spot? I’ve got that.
Plus, I’d like to use American Airlines miles but booking through their site’s just a pain.
Anyhow, the takeaway message today is that you can’t get anywhere until you get started. And I’m going to get started now. Have a great rest of Saturday!
September 14, 2009
Being self-motivated while “between opportunities” has unique challenges; it’s a bit more complicated when health issues get a vote in what you do each day. As some of you know, I’ve been raring to move out, move on, and make serious career changes. All the get-up-and-go in the world doesn’t offset the physical considerations of an immune disease, though, so once again, I’ve had to make compromises.
When it’s too hot out, I just want to stay in a cool, slightly dark hole. With free wi-fi. Failing that, the library. When it cools down, I’m not as thrilled as I should be because the damp and chill get right into my bones. Still, it goes against the grain to let pain and grinding fatigue dictate my entire schedule, so I’m eating the ugliest frog today. For the next six hours, or as long as the energy lasts, this is the action plan.
We’ll start with discharging the internet obligations:
(while the laundry is in the wash)
1. Emails
2. Sign up for some courses online (anticipating huge reluctance here: it’s going to cost $1250 just for the classes.)
3. Finalizing a freelance contract.
All things I can do from the comfort of my desk, after which it’ll be on to the library to track down a textbook for that online class to save myself $26 (purchase) or $12 (renting from Chegg.com).
AND to make sure I don’t lose track of time again – every day feels like Saturday now – I’ve created a Google Calendar. It’s a departure from my usual obsessive pen-and-paper planner but it’s free, it’s lightweight 😉 and it fits my newly evolving lifestyle.
Bonus tasks: pick up the dry cleaning, grocery shopping.
How’s that for a SMART goal?
July 27, 2009
Good mornin’ all!
Most people have been up and about for hours, East Coast or West Coast, but this is my first morning post-freedom without any travel plans pending. That means a) waking up early and saying, “nope, goin’ back to sleep” and b) having a short list of errands to run before sitting around and reading comic books from Con. Ahhh yes, summer vacation!
……
Or, ahhhh, unemployment! Hmph, that’s not nearly as appealing.
As usual after a travel day, I couldn’t sleep at a decent hour last night, so I had to stay up reading, cleaning and then eating random snacks. *smh* Stale donuts really aren’t so bad, especially if they fulfill a craving. 🙂
So here’s the short list:
1. Return the rental car.
2. Finally complete the Cal Jobs thing.
3. Mail off porting life insurance paperwork.
4. Discover where that mysterious retirement contribution on July 21st came from. [Might there also be a mystery check?? One may hope.]
5. Catch up on blogs, try to retrain my mind to write again.
6. Calculate total damages to travel fund.
7. Ship shoes for return to Endless.com. Thank goodness for generous return policies!
8. Search for jobs online.
Anything else?
Oh yes, and churn up the gift money for a friend’s wedding present. I think I’m going to take the Thank You points premium hit and “pay” 7000 points for a $50 gift card. Worth it to me not to take that cash out of pocket after the spendiness of Comic Con, and I haven’t been able to make up my mind about what to redeem for in over 18 months anyway.
July 19, 2009
I returned home to a 10-inch stack of mail: unemployment claims forms, credit card fraud validation forms, a few bills I’d already seen online. A new credit card to replace the canceled one, instructions from the EDD to register for work on CalJOBS or else, porting forms for life insurance, the all important instructions for COBRA.
And a check for overtime in the amount of $800. I can’t believe I’d forgotten about that! Speaking of forgetting things, I almost forget to add the rent check to the pile of envelopes to be sent out.
Depositing that check and a small wad of cash from my trip fends off the spectre of being a non-earner for another week or two; the lack of earned income bothers me at an intellectual level but it hasn’t really hit me in the gut yet thanks to these little infusions of income. I’m still nervous about California coming through with unemployment but that remains a mostly nebulous fear; pretty sure I’d hear all about it post-haste if that were to fall apart.
I’ve waded through most of the forms by now, but there remains the life insurance porting and COBRA. The former requires a call to the benefits administrator before it can be completed and mailed: some genius decided to fill out all the “annual salary at time of termination” blanks with “$110,000.” Wishful thinking on both our parts, pal.
The latter is just too much fine print to read tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Oh and the CalJOBS application. *sigh* I hate online forms that require the laborious filling in of text boxes and drop down menus. It’s all on the resume!
June 9, 2009
It’s June 9th.
I still haven’t gotten feedback or follow-up from the place I really really want to hear from, and I have a couple anemic freelance options to consider.
One is a lock but it’s just a favor for a family friend, a one-off deal that I could probably complete in a solid week.
The other is something I really don’t want because it’s going to a huge mess to navigate (workload + politics — TONS of politics) but it may come down to that or unemployment. I’d rather put off the latter for a while longer if there’s a solid financial advantage to making this commitment. We’re in talks this week. A very “we’ll see” situation.
I’ve done my best to keep maintain Zen-mode since the end of last month but it’s slipping from my grasp like a wiggly water toy you play with at the Discovery Channel Store.
The delicate fabric of that calm is revealed when those closest to me ask the most innocent questions about my plans or job situation. It feels something like a vise of atmospheric pressure closing in, reminding me that I still haven’t got my life ordered properly and by the way, young lady, what do you intend to do with your life when you grow up? I’m not sure which movie character menacingly delivers that line, but I’m properly chastised/chagrined every time.
No answer, I’m afraid. But I’ll repair the bastions of calm and move along my day. Trying not to fret too much about the terrifying maw of a completely unscheduled life after a date three weeks into the future.
Strange. Writing about it is rather calming.