About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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January 11, 2021
Week 43 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 43, Day 298: You’ll forgive me skipping the week after Christmas – we are still trying to right the ship that now has an extra human passenger and some days are harder than others. Nights, harder still. Nothing of note happened other than keeping ourselves alive and intact, anyway. I have a to do list the length of my leg today, and my brain only wants to crunch money numbers. The biggest things I need to get done: clearing PiC’s old SE for a trade in, organizing our investments, we need to organize our thoughts about how to talk to JB’s principal about better options for their school situation, deal with our still broken internet and yell at Comcast some more because it’s still broken though they promised a fix by yesterday. (Who actually believed Comcast when they promised me this would be fixed by Sunday? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?)
I notice my brain avoiding all but the number crunching though. That might be because I was up with Smol Acrobat most of the night? MAAYBE. We went for a very slow medium length walk today and it was extra hard on my joints. Also maybe because I was up with SA most of the night. PiC slept quite well though thankfully so I could go rest this afternoon while he parented. It worked out though. I can’t sleep through Smol’s whimpers and nighttime wakings, while he can, so I might as well field those and let him sleep so he can parent during the day when I catch up on my sleep.
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COVID LIFE: Over at Nicole and Maggie’s, I said I would start talking about the things we do and do NOT do , so I’ll go over a bit each day this week.
We will maintain these rules for as long as it takes to get to a point where we feel things are safer. Between you, me and PiC, that’s going to take several months, minimum, even after we get vaccinated.
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January 8, 2021
1. I had splurged on some warm clothes for myself and they finally arrived! Pile lined sweatpants and fuzzy lined sweatshirts, where have you been all my life? This is the first time I’ve been able to walk around the house in a normal number of layers of clothing and not be cold! I’m calling it my bear suit. One might argue comfort and being warm isn’t a splurge, a dear friend made that exact point, but my brain would be confused by that.
2. On a whim, I picked up long beans and garlic black bean sauce at the local grocery store. Together, they made a delicious veggie dish! We finally have a veggie I won’t get sick of after two servings (I hope).
3. At least one of my healthcare professional relatives has been offered and given the vaccine.
Challenges this week: Mild grumble – why is my ortho office constantly marketing to me? I committed to treatment, you don’t need to keep sending me marketing emails! So weird.
I feel like a zombie. Sleep deprivation, OMG.
Moderate grumble: Comcast has been a RIGHT PAIN. I’ve been working “with” them (just holding onto my patience for dear life as I try to get them to help) to get our internet back up and running since before Christmas. They have definitely NOT fixed the problem. One technician did come out and replaced all the bad cabling but there’s still a problem with their network that they have identified but it’s like pulling teeth to get them to get a second tech out for this known problem.
Severe: I continue to work my way through the ups and downs of depression. The weight varies day by day.
The coup attempt at the Capitol Building, aided by the Capitol police WHO LET THEM IN, was another … I don’t even know what to call it. The fact that 45 is still trying to fraudulently negate the election results here in 2021 is infuriating.
:: How was your week?
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January 5, 2021
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks and cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates). Some posts have affiliate links that pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running and I’ve added a way to support the blog in the sidebar to the right!
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $909.60 in dividends in December from my individual stocks portfolio. That’s definitely higher than the usual because Costco paid out an extra large dividend. I would say unexpectedly except it was only unexpected by me – they announced it in November and I simply wasn’t paying any attention to such details.
Our YTD monthly average is $422.
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January 4, 2021
Week 41 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 41, Day 284: Holiday gifts for JB have been showing up on our doorstep all month. I am surprised to find, since I love opening mail, I’m starting to have a bit of package fatigue. If they were more spaced out, that would be really helpful since, speaking of arrivals, Smol Acrobat has joined us. JB is thrilled to share this first Christmas with their very own baby sibling they get to keep without kidnapping required. I hope they still feel this way months and years from now!
My recovery is a slow process. I know this is normal, and it’s normal to take up to a year to be back to pre-pregnancy status, but I’m still very impatient. I don’t want to take months to get back to normal, I want to be on my feet 100% now. Obviously that isn’t going to make that happen so I’m grateful that I arranged more leave from work than I did with JB instead of trying to force myself back in several weeks. This time I have no desire to go back to work a minute sooner than I need to.
I’m glad that both PiC and I did, in fact, because even if we’re working from home, having to cater to a newborn and working effectively isn’t gonna happen. We’re sleep deprived zombies and glad that JB is old enough to be well trained in helping with a certain amount of chores around the house. The time we put in this summer insisting they do age appropriate housework regularly was well worth it. They do like being helpful and this way they have chores they can do to meaningfully help with baby. They feel like part of the adult unit in that sense, they are a contributor, and not just pouting that they’re not getting enough attention. (more…)
January 1, 2021
HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2021 be vastly kinder to all of us.
1. Two of my three refunds were processed without follow-up from me. Yay! I just need that last one …
2. After months of being exasperated that our only tongs and spatula were in use in some other cookery, I bought two more tongs and a second spatula. Sometimes it makes sense to spend some money to solve an annoyance!
Challenges this week: I plunged into deep depression mid-week. True to form, I was still physically functional, just mentally/emotionally thrashed.
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December 29, 2020
Week 40 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 40, Day 277: I’ve been feeling like a horrible mom to JB lately. I’m so distracted and preoccupied by: work, Smol Acrobat’s needs, my needs, my fatigue and recalcitrant body that I simply haven’t spent any time with them. I still parent – direct activities, I discipline, I coordinate schooling and tutoring and advocate for them when needed. But actual time together, just being together? Has not happened in weeks. Maybe months. I don’t even know.
They have always been more PiC’s kid than mine for the fun stuff. They are very accustomed to me needing to work at home in a way that they still aren’t with PiC, and it’s not working mom guilt that I’m muddling through. It’s guilt for not having anything left in the tank for fun and enjoying life with them after subtracting all the stressors of the pandemic and household management and caring for everyone’s needs and logistics.
Most of the time I think they couldn’t care less if I’m around as long as they have PiC. They walk the dogs together. They paint and draw and read and gallivant. They prepare coffee and lunch and goof off together. I’m not really a goofing off personality that way. They’re at a 9 on the Silly Scale while I won’t go near a 1. But I still feel bad for not engaging in those rare times they ask me to because I just don’t have any interest in anything in those moments.
There’s a touch of depression at play there along with very real fatigue and overwhelm.
I hope this will pass. I’m pretty sure I am doing my best and they know they’re loved.
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December 25, 2020
If you celebrate, Merry Christmas!
1. We will only be doing quiet presents at home this year with JB instead of flitting hither and yon. While I miss my people, I won’t pretend I’m not appreciating the lack of travel and schedule-juggling stress.
2. Refund central: I found a minute to process a bunch of returns. I was a week late on one of them and had to ask for an exception to the closed return window. Thankfully, I was able to get an exception for that item which was worth over $100 and get all three packages in order.
3. We renewed our Cal Academy membership this year to continue supporting the museum. Our compromise was to renew at a lower Family tier since we won’t actually be going there any time soon. This is more of a tax deductible donation this year. We’d splurged on the Family Plus level last year with the expectation that we’d be bringing guests with us through 2020. Clearly, that was a bust. We don’t mind supporting the Academy but we do want to allocate some of that elsewhere to other needs.
4. Our Saturday was full of unexpected treats. We started out on a bad note – I had severe muscle aches and chills which were very likely just due to my fibro and sleep deprivation but we also had a precautionary COVID test scheduled so I figured it was just as well that we’d be tested and I could be sure it’s just my usual “body is broken” random grab bag of symptoms. We decided to take a walk on a nearby trail just to get some fresh air since I hadn’t left the house all week. Turns out that the dog park was overrun with dogs and an absolutely adorable pitbull puppy kept following us around. It eventually left with its family but JB got to say hi. Then we discovered a nearly empty playground and PiC took pity on JB who desperately wanted to play for a bit. In the interest of supporting local / small business, I gave PiC the nod when the ice cream truck came around – JB got an overpriced popsicle which never happens. And then, our friends showed up at the park because they had plans to meet up with other friends. So we got to say hi at a safe outdoors site and that was lovely. But I was absolutely bushed after and needed a long rest.
Challenges this week: Our friend fighting cancer isn’t doing well. I’m worried for them. Our time left with Seamus is growing short, going by his increasing shakiness.
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