About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
1. I’m really glad we have the new washer. It washes efficiently! It spins efficiently (and doesn’t need to be spun 3 times to be dry enough)! I can set a delayed start so it runs after peak hours! It handled the 15, no, 20 loads of laundry in 3 days for the Pine Ridge Reservation like a champ.
2. Nicole and Maggie shared this GoFundMe for a study on “the enduring impact of childhood exposure to violence on bilateral intimate partner violence in Northern Uganda where thousands of boys and girls were abducted by the Lord’s Resistance Army during childhood.”
3. I forgot how glorious it is to get 8 whole uninterrupted hours a day alone. I dislike the scheduling chaos that is generally summer but I very much love the few solo days I get this. Thanks, summer camp!
Challenges this week: everything is overwhelm. There’s too much going on and I’d already hit the upper limit for planning things when a funeral (not someone I knew but still an obligation) entered the chat and wanted scheduling. UGH.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $1,053.00 in dividends from the stocks portfolio. Bigger than usual big month, but it all averages out to only a few hundred dollars a month. It was all reinvested immediately as usual.
I moved our emergency fund to Vanguard’s Cash Plus account to get more interest there as well though that might have been a futile attempt since it looks like that APY went down from 4.7 to 4.6 (vs Ally’s 4.2%). Oh well, every penny and dollar count.
Year 5, Day 61: Despite wearing sunblock and a hat, I managed to get sunburned this weekend. It’s really unusual for us to get enough sun for that to be a problem! Truth: We didn’t.
We went a little outside of our usual radius to spend time with friends and that little microclimate had Roasty Toasty temps. My face feels crispy. But I got to pet two large fluffy dogs at length over the weekend which is exactly what the doctor ordered so it was totally worth it. (Remind me I said that if I’m peeling like a lizard next week.)
School is nearly out and we waited too long to book some camps for JB. Our schedule is a bit spotty in places and we were trying to coordinate with their friends for some camps so ended up leaving it long enough that we missed out on some spots.
It’s ok, I don’t think they need to be booked every day of every week. They can handle a few days that are just unbooked and boring – they can sleep in, clean, read, do art, etc. Maybe I will also make myself take them on walks those days. Probably be good for both of us.
Year 5, Day 62: Holiday weekends are nice but the short workweeks after a long weekend are BRUTAL. Someday this will not be the case! (I am trying to have faith. In what, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just trying to have hope.) It’s also a wallop upside the head to try to get focused when you’re starting with a double Monday workload on the wrong day. It’s like trying to start a race with your weight on the wrong foot. I don’t get the Sunday Scaries but I sure do have the short workweek wobbles. Ugh. Anyway I’ve learned to plug those time chunks when I first sit down and need to corral my brain by doing a chore that I have to do anyway first. By the time I’m done with that bit of administrative nonsense, my brain has had time to remember what we’re here to do and can get to work again.
Having the strangest feeling: Do I know this song? Sort of? But I have no memory of hearing it in the past.
Year 5, Day 63: Did my 15 minutes of “KB Spangler” weeding this morning, with a begrudging heart. Someone ought to have warned us how much time in adult life would be spent waging a hopeless battle against the weeds. Also, I find it deeply unfair that the shallow rooted weeds are out in the open, easy to grab and easy to uproot but the deeply rooted weeds are wedged into the sidewalk and driveway cracks so I skin my fingers trying to get enough of a grip on them to dig them out. Humph.
Usually my pain pays me the courtesy of waiting until I lay down at night to spike into “curl up an cry” territory but mid-morning my back pain spiked. Like a genius, I pulled out the Hyperice to massage the muscles into submission. Usually I forget about it! Buuuuuut that backfired terribly. I had to pop some OTC painkillers and crank the heating pad to try and get it to back off. Nothing like getting mugged by your pain midday.
Then in the height of my pain, I had to conduct an interview. That was a miserable 10 minutes of anticipation. But the conversation went well enough that my pain faded to the background. I liked them. That doesn’t often happen!
Year 5, Day 64: I had to crank through mountains of work today: training people and processing documentation and planning for summer coverage and recruiting and OH GAH. So much. I hadn’t complained yet but PIC
Smol Acrobat didn’t nap again today and they are always a hysterical (both kinds) mess by the time we get to the bath and bed portion of the night. They cackled the whole way to the toothbrushing station, hissy-fitted between that and the toilet, then cackled all the way to the shower. It was emotional whiplash even though I was prepared for it. They rallied after the bath to run at me HARD and slam into me (JB style, honestly). When I objected “why did you push me?” they replied in a hurt voice, “I was trying to play a game!”
“OH! I didn’t know that! Ok, now that I know, let’s try that again.”
And then they gleefully rammed me again. All was well.
Year 5, Day 65: Just like that, JB is done with third grade! It wasn’t the easiest of years, when is it ever?, but they are sad that it’s over.
We went back to the school once everyone was gone and cleaned out their lost and found for them. This saves them the trouble of doing that laundry and donating it themselves, we get free clothes in generally good to great conditions (KIDS) to pack and ship to the Pine Ridge reservation. I can ship like 75 sweaters and jackets for $30! Wins all around except for my arms which are going to fall off!
Then I had to get to work 😱
I continue to wage war with United Healthcare which keeps denying my FSA claims for perfectly legitimate expenses. They tell me to “describe the service so we may evaluate your claim”. I DID. ARGH. But I will persevere!
I’m also on the hunt for native flowers for our front yard. I don’t typically want flowers but I’m indulging a weird kick right now and it also occurs to me that getting seeds of flowers I LIKE would be a step towards fighting against the weeds that keep taking over. I’m thinking snapdragons to go with my poppies?
TIL clumping bamboo exists and isn’t the terrible invasive type.
1. Scarleteen is fundraising through Give Out Day. I wasn’t totally clear on the platform they’re using for the fundraising but I know they’re a valuable resource so I donated to get them to their unique donors goal. This explains a little more about it.
Rescued from drafts, I didn’t realize I never finished this up.
Our travel cost breakdown
1. Food and lodgings: ice cream, Japanese $84+$88 2. Gas and parking: $oops I forgot to record this 3. $400 cash for shopping and cash only booth shopping (so this blends a bit with the other numbers) 4. Gifts for other people: 6+33+11+33+12=95 5. Gifts for us: 50+89+5+54+17+26+55+33+66 =$395 6. Badges for 2 adults and 2 children, $623 6. Dogsitting, $1100. 7. Stupid tax, $2.50. We had to pay cash tolls because we forgot to choose the “avoid tolls” feature on our maps and missed the Fasttrak lane. The last time I contended with toll problems was also in San Diego and also during Comic Con. Honestly, they’re so confusing! Total: $2704+
As always, this endeavor starts many months in advance. Badges are sold through a lottery system so it’s never certain that we’ll get in. I’m always grateful when we do.
Best moments
JB wanted to look at the dumpster fire booth, so we pulled over to ogle the stickers at the cash register counter. We apologized for getting in the dude next in line’s way, saying we just wanted to look and weren’t cutting. JB was intensely interested in the stickers so I said we had to go to the back of the line to buy. We can’t cut. The guy offered to get it since he was up to buy his stuff. I waffled a bit and then asked how much the stickers were: $5. Said “ok, would you mind? I can give you cash for them.” He buys his pile of stuff, hands them the stickers, then offers them his free lanyard with $75 purchase. I start handing him the $5+ change and he waves it off.
!!!!
What?! You don’t know us, whaaat? He just grinned and said bye. He’s made himself a mini Con legend in the family for $5+tax.
On Saturday, JB was contemplating their budget very carefully and decided against a sticker because they were saving their daily budget for a big buy the next day. A kind lady called them back to the booth and bought them the sticker.
On Sunday, I pulled them over to watch a professional artist sketching some commissions. I couldn’t see his name tags and I’m the absolute worst at recognizing faces. I do recognize that his lines were beautiful. I thought it was good for JB to watch a pro at work, and shared that with the artist. He very kindly asked another interested party at the booth to bear with him a moment, he wanted to oblige JB’s interest by filling in some more of the portrait he was working on. As he did so, he explained what he was doing and offhandedly mentioned that this drawing is a character from a comic I drew, Fables. I was stunned. We were interrupting Mark Flipping Buckingham. JB of course hasn’t a clue what that means but I was a huge fan of the Fables series and here’s the man who created that beautiful art chatting to my young kid very kindly and seriously, letting them squish his eraser and explaining how it works. He gave them very kind advice about art, what’s important is practice and learning, and then to top it all off, dug out an unfinished sketch, beautiful still, and signed it for them. I couldn’t believe it. A Mark Buckingham original sketch from a friendly chat. Who would ever have seen that coming?
Unlooked for parenting commentary (this is usually a bad thing): the fellow across the table from us was probably in his 50s. He kept to himself for a while but the two ladies between him and us asked about our experiences with Preview Night and that question got the table talking about the convention’s history, the WGA and SAG strikes (which we all support!), how the film industry is abusive etc. Smol Acrobat was sitting in their seat gobbling a cup of snacks quietly, absorbed, and the man commented: I’ve never been that well behaved in my entire life. Whatever you’re doing as parents, it’s working. Me: ohhhh that’s because they had a meltdown seven aisles that way! Him: so did I! 😂
It was kind of him.
The two ladies left and their seats were taken by a young man and his father. We looked away from Smol Acrobat for a minute and BAM the cup of snacks hit the ground. We apologized to our table companions for the mess underfoot and the father laughed saying that’s normal. His son asked quietly: was I ever like that?? We all laughed. I hear young adults ask their parents that all the time.
I pointed out we were all there at one point. He said I’ve been in this position (pointing at Smol) and that position (pointing at PiC).
We ran into a professional looking cosplay of Geoffrey the giraffe and Smol was enamored. We stopped to take a picture, me holding Smol on one side and JB on my other side. Geoffrey laid a hoof on my shoulder and Smol wouldn’t/couldn’t look at the camera, they were too busy cuddling the furry hoof.
Year 5, Day 54: A friend brought their puppy for me to play with and I had brain therapy on Saturday; we happened to linger by the dog park just long enough on Sunday to meet three very sweet dogs (one of which shoved her nose right into my face for the sweetest nuzzle and then placed herself firmly into a “Hug Me Now” position which I oh-so-gladly did); and this morning our local off leash dog greeted me with her usual intense I DO TRICKS YOU GIVE TREAT IS DEAL!
That was enough canine love that, despite my extreme fatigue, I’m not hugging rock bottom. I’ll take it for however long it lasts.
The kids have had a hacking cough intermittently for a few days and I tested them for COVID this morning. We got a very faint positive on both test kits from iHealth for both kids, but Smol Acrobat’s second test on AccessBio was firmly negative. If you hadn’t heard, Cue Health’s test kits are decertified. We scheduled PCR tests to try to get more definite answers.
I’m never happy (Zuko) #ATLA
Year 5, Day 55: It’s stunning how cavalierly the CDC’s managing COVID these days. I knew this at a superficial level but it hit home this week.
Our pediatrician advised us that, per the CDC, they’re treating symptoms only and treating it like a cold. IT’S NOT A COLD. Colds don’t affect you long term the way COVID does! This is depressing.
Our family has been doing our damnedest avoiding it since 2020 between masking, vaccines, and minimizing social interactions early on. Smol Acrobat is, somewhat predictably but still infuriatingly, the first of us to catch COVID. They were nearly asymptomatic (aside from full days of temper tantrums, is that a symptom?). They just had a cough that sounded just like every other cough they have had the past several months. Actually three of us had a similar cough but JB and I tested negative. I can’t tell if it’s because they have more frequent and prolonged exposure at daycare, probably(?) since the rest of us mask wherever we go. Breaking our streak was really upsetting. I had so hoped to dodge infection-level exposure until Smol Acrobat was old enough to mask properly. They’re good about masking when they’re with us, but the daycare isn’t able to help them mask.
Their pediatrician agreed that the appearance on the PCR and negative rapid tests, along with the physical exam, strongly pointed to the COVID having already run its course and that they’re no longer infectious. In one way, that’s a relief, I really needed childcare this week. In another, I’m still worried about any long term effects that aren’t obvious now and hate that they were running around the classroom, infectious, for who knows how long.
Year 5, Day 56: My crow (maybe? almost?) friend dropped in, literally, and cawed at me this morning. This is why I still have to carry my treat bag on all walks, who wants to be the disappointing human who doesn’t have treats on demand? After I left the offerings and walked away, they hopped over to pick them up. I meant to leave a third one but too many people were walking and driving by, so they hopped away looking casual. Next time.
The potatos in the garden are flourishing. I was inspired by Ilona Andrews’ potatoes in an old blog post, you might recall, and wanted the same. I now have the same! There are so many potato plants. Yay! My green beans and cucumbers took ages to germinate but are now shooting up nicely. Half the lettuce seeds germinated and haven’t done anything else, just frozen in time. That’s less satisfying. I know we’re still a very long way off from knowing if we’ll have anything to harvest but it’s nice to see something happening. We’ll have to travel sometime this summer, I’ve been wondering what we could easily set up for watering things while we’re out and about. They don’t need much but they do need a bit of water every day. Too bad we don’t have reliable neighbors who wouldn’t mind dropping by for a quick water now and again. I’m eyeballing hoses and things at Home Depot but I don’t know what I’m doing!
Solo parenting starts this afternoon: the kids are on notice they need to help me out with best behavior, we’re down one herder.
Year 5, Day 57: Solo parenting again, PiC’s still at a work thing. The morning was a bit of a bumpy ride but everyone got dropped off nearly on time with no tears or yelling so calling that a win.
Then I accidentally used up all my willpower stopping myself from eating more than 2 cookies after an early lunch, this is the sound of my brain flopping over and refusing to do anything else.
I’ve made it through to today without the Backpack of Doom feeling. Three days of dog encounters bought 3 days of vastly reduced depression and anxiety. Science!
I haven’t been able to get on top of my work all week. Too much time consuming daily work stuff, recruiting which I hate, and random corporate nonsense to deal with made my brain go CORGI all week in one way or another. I’ve been trying to just do the best I can on the few things I can control.
There’s also a thing happening all week that I needed a friend to untangle for me. Every time someone makes a suggestion, or hints, that I could be worth worrying about or caring about or deserve a rest, I get mad inside. I don’t know why but internally, I immediately PUFFERFISH. Friend suggested “Acknowledging that you are worthy of care makes you feel intensely vulnerable and your body turns to anger to shut down those feelings and keep you “safe”” which strongly matches my reactions.
I don’t know why it feels so vulnerable but it does. I don’t know why being mad and pushing away that care and vulnerability is the default response but it is.
Year 5, Day 58: Am I ever going to clear my (work) inbox? Signs point to no.
I needed to replace the sandals I ruined around Christmas, so I procrastinated almost 6 months and then ordered 3 pairs. ADHD or personal problem? Hard to tell. (Friend gesticulates wildly at the ADHD/executive function dysfunction sign.) It really was only meant to be one pair. But it was $54 for one pair or $60 for two. It felt silly not to get two pairs for $60 because if they’re really comfortable (like they appear to be?) a backup will come in handy. Then I had to replace JB’s broken sandals. I had a 30% off and free shipping code from T-Mobile for Crocs which stacked with a sale, and remembering how my last sandals were ruined (the beach) decided it would be good to have sandals the beach couldn’t ruin so easily. Three pairs of sandals for the kids and myself: $50. Not too terrible.
My hacking cough is pretty bad today. Thankfully it didn’t crop up until after my interview call but I still have other calls. Booo.
Smol Acrobat’s pediatrician is leaving the practice due to life stuff, and we’re hoping that he will return when those things wrap up. To that end, I wrote him a note thanking him for caring for Smol Acrobat because he clearly won over the kiddo in their few visits. They frequently ask if they can call or go see their doctor, I thought that might be nice for the doc to know even if he doesn’t come back.
I’ve hit the point of work overwhelm where it feels impossible and hopeless which is an odd kind of peace. There’s more anxiety when I have hope that I might wrap things up in a reasonable time frame.
“Let me tell you something about my brother, Divya. He has no vision. At all. He’s vision-impaired. My brother would not know a gold mine if he tripped over a prospector and fell into a gold mine.” #RoyalPains (This is me. I have zero vision. I’m a doer, not a vision person.)
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.