About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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October 31, 2014
Chicken pot pie: Filling
Ingredients
Cooking spray
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1/2-inch chunks
4 teaspoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 medium carrots, chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped
1/2 pound green beans, trimmed and chopped into 1/2-inch pieces
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 cups lowfat milk
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
1 cup peas, thawed if frozen
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh thyme leaves
Directions
Add 2 more teaspoons of oil to the same pan and heat it over a medium-high heat. Add the onions, carrots and celery and cook until the vegetables begin to soften, about 3 minutes. Add the green beans, garlic and remaining salt and pepper and cook for 2 minute more. Add the milk. Stir the flour into the broth until it is completely dissolved and add to the pan. Cook, stirring, until the mixture comes to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium-low and cook for 2 minutes more. Return the chicken with its juices back to the pan. Add the peas and thyme and stir to combine. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Spoon the mixture into the baking dish or individual dishes.
Drop the batter in 6 mounds on top of the chicken mixture (1 mound on each individual dish, if using) spreading the batter out slightly.
Bake until filling is bubbling and the biscuit topping is golden brown, about 20 minutes.
Adapted from Food Network’s Ellie Krieger
Drop Biscuits
Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup chilled butter, cut into small pieces
1 cup fat-free milk
Cooking spray
Directions
Preheat oven to 450º.
Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt in a bowl; cut in butter with a pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles coarse meal. Add milk; stir just until moist.
Spoon the batter into 12 muffin cups coated with cooking spray. Bake at 450° for 12 minutes or until golden. Remove biscuits from pan immediately, and place on a wire rack.
Thoughts
I’ve finally found some decent uses for the Dutch oven and one of them is heaven on the stovetop.
October 29, 2014
A strange thought struck me as I poked around the internet instead of keeping on top of the work I intended to get done tonight: Have I lost my ambition?
The most enjoyable parts of my day are more and more domestic: watching the dog sleep. Having dinner prepped well in advance so I can bunk around online, recreationally or working. It’s not totally unthinkable, I’ve always enjoyed housework just as much as I do working professionally.
Granted, some part of this is because there be a critter parasitically using what energy I do have, to spare me the trouble one presumes, but for the first time in my medium-length career, I don’t have any lofty job related ambitions except to be comfortable in my role and to make good money while I rock it. I’m not the fire-eater of half a decade ago, tearing a path through the ranks and taking no prisoners (except for the inevitable scheming backstabbing bastards, I’ve got your names and someday karma will kick your asses).
Occasionally, and this is more frequent when there’s a thousand conversations about side hustles everywhere on twitter and in the PF blogosphere, I’m motivated to think about getting off my moderately well paid duff and doing something more than just the usual investing and saving. After all, if I intend to be a multimillionaire before I’m either 40 or broken, whichever comes sooner, there isn’t that much time to be wasted!
But this year feels less like a growing and conquering year than any other. Maybe I have lost my fire. Perhaps this is the fallow season in preparation for the next push.
Or maybe I’m just riding out a wave of boredom that will crest in new ideas and new projects. I could use an interesting new project around here.
***
After some reflection I realized what this really is.
I’m harboring some resentment over a financial agreement that was reneged upon at work as a direct result of Little Bean.
I won’t get into the nitty gritty at the moment but to summarize: the principle of having had an agreement, and then being penalized specifically because of the time I’ll need to take off for LB makes me reconsider my commitment to a workplace that I otherwise love. It reminds me of all the times I’ve had to fight tooth and claw to be paid what I’m worth, and all the times I’ve had to compromise or put up with horrible people and harassment for the sake of the work experience and paving the way to a better next step.
October 27, 2014
I’m super grateful for the good friends and relatives who would like to come help. Not just visit, but help. Lord knows most of my family won’t be there for us. There’s a huge difference between the two and I expect that we’ll be so exhausted in the early days I simply can’t take regular visitors who just want to come to see Little Bean and hang out to be entertained. We won’t have help ongoing except that which we pay for so I’m extra grateful for those who would be willing to travel to come lend a hand. We’re luckier than we realized in that respect.
It’s funny how people are gung ho when it comes to buying new things; is it just because tiny things are funny and cute? We’ve shared the news with close family and friends and immediately know who’s going to go shopping as soon as we hang up the phone. I asked them to hold off as, where possible, hand me downs make much more sense to me than new clothes but I suspect I’m being ignored.
Little ones don’t know or care what they’re wearing or using so as long as it’s clear, dry and safe. I don’t want people to waste money on new things with all the perfectly good used stuff floating around.
That said, there’s definitely a few things we’ll need, mostly in the vein of furniture, to help with my limitations.
*Note: I don’t mean to be or sound ungrateful! I am absolutely grateful for whatever people like to give. It’s just a funny thing I’ve noticed.
I’ve joined Amazon Mom (the name still gets my goat a bit: moms are not the only parents or caretakers!) though it feels pretty darn early to do so. It’s just so I can start building a thoughtful and carefully curated registry list. We do have to get some things new and some friends have been after me to get this together the second they heard the news, so I figured I’d get a start on it.
I’m not sure what we’d order regularly just yet but I’ve been experimenting with some Subscribe & Save items and the extra 20% off where Amazon is the best deal (not always the case, remember!) will of course make a big difference. Correction: they’ve gone and reduced the discount to just 15%. 🙁
We’ve been in the Bay Area long enough for the extra concern for the environment to seep into my consciousness: we’re considering some form of cloth diapering. I simply don’t have the energy to do it the truly frugal way which is normally my very first concern, but we might be able to afford some kind of service, modified for our needs. Just contemplating since it’s not cheap to do the service and we’ve already got plenty of costs to stare down.
October 22, 2014
Please welcome your hosts, PiC as the (silent) Count of Craigslist, Department of Sales and Purchasing; me as the hybrid Judy Jetson, Department of Taking the Cash and Banking the proceeds and Rosie, Department of ruthlessly clearing out storage!
The last time I did this, it was a massive deep clean of my living space that I’d occupied like a fortified trench for over ten years.
I unearthed years of detritus, the inevitable anthropological build-up that accumulates in so many layers, marking milestones and marking time. One graduation, then another; the salient details rubbed away in the shifting sands of days, weeks and months.
Immersed in toxicity at the workplace and at home, facing an inevitable layoff, the survivalist bit of my brain drove forth insisting that if I physically removed the anchors that held me home, as if it were the overstuffed closet or bookshelf that kept me chained to my family and the job that paid their bills, if I did this thing, I could one day become free. True, in some small sense.
It was also true that I was attempting to play out my final days, to make them my final days, by making it easier to clean up after me.
Ironically, the anchors that kept me home, and in that job, were the anchors that kept me from prematurely picking an end date. I couldn’t cause yet more stress, grief and pain. My sibling was already doing enough for both of us. And so responsibility both drove me forth and kept me here at the same time.
Mentally, that purge began as a good bye. It was an effort to take some control over a life that came with broken handles, a life I’d once grasped with both hands anyway, determined to ride it out despite the wounds and the scars that didn’t have time to heal.
Ages later, we’re wading back into the same battle but with completely different mindsets. This is a beginning, not a prospective ending. I have no thoughtful reflections on the differences between now and then, except that this time is about as far away a reason as I had to do it before could be.
As we start our family, the thought of adding another body to this home causes my old claustrophobia to rise and my “one in, two out” rule is revived and the clearing out has begun in earnest.
We still haven’t finished anything to do with getting the wedding stuff sorted, putting together the photos as a start, but with Little Bean there’s a pretty clear deadline so the lead foot is on the gas.
* We’ve sold some furniture and more should be on its way out in short order either via Craigslist or as a gift to some younguns just starting out.
* I’ve tackled sections of the smaller storage where old electronics, endless cables and unidentifiable bits and bobs go to die except they don’t do you the favor of disintegrating. So that stuff is out to recycling.
* Fully 3/4 of the filing cabinet contents have been reviewed and are headed to shredding, the other 1/4 sits awaiting judgement once my brain checks back in.
* And the CLOSET. Ohh the closet. Having pulled out 30 pieces of clothing to donate, and having thrown out at least ten things that were only fit for rags, I’m about to aim for the stars and insist on purging 100 things. 200 if PiC lets me tackle his half of the clothing morass. It’s not that I buy a lot of clothing but rather, I keep things long past time they should be cycled out. I’ve found clothes in that closet featured in photos from ten to fifteen years ago. At some point, you just have to let go. Mutant Supermodel knows my pain.
* SUCCESS: I’d been on the hunt for a tie rack to repurpose as a belt and scarf hanger. By pulling out about 7 cheapie purses and free conference bags that haven’t been in use for at least two years, I freed up enough room on the over the door purse hanger to cascade my scarves. Woot!
October 20, 2014
Usually, playing the game of “what if…” is just another way to drive yourself mad slowly.
In my teens: What if my hands never get better (the fibro was only in a couple places at this point)?
In my 20s: What if I’m too sick or crippled to work by the time I’m 30 (the fibro had spread every joint in my body)?
In my 30s: What if I have a family, then become crippled from the pain and have to stop working? What if (it’s only a matter of time, according to the USGS) we get hit with a huge earthquake and we’re not prepared? What if Little Bean is (any number of horrible things)? What if one or both of us dies in the near future? What if my brother deteriorates further, or hurts someone? What if my dad’s health fails because he won’t take care of himself?
Some things, I have zero control over. *ahem* Family and their health. Or their decisions that I think are terrible.
The rest of the time though, and usually it’s financially, it morphs into my To-Do List, because the answer tends to be “that’d be horrible! Now how to prevent it (or mitigate the pain)??”
1. What if one or both of us dies?
Estate planning, get our wills and trust sorted – there are hard conversations to have but PiC and I are getting to be more and more on the same page about these things. We have ourselves to consider, Little Bean to consider, our extended families to think of. And not just consider, we have to determine exactly who we would ask to take care of things in the event of our untimely demise: who would take care of Little Bean? Who would take the dog(s)? How will they be adequately provided for? What if one of us dies? What if both of us die?
Of course these aren’t FUN questions but I’ve had to consider these things since I was 19 and the primary breadwinner. Real life isn’t always a carnival unless this is the house of whatever-mirrors.
2.What if we lose one or both jobs?
Savings, steady as she goes – I won’t reduce our savings rate from at least 25% of our gross income, period. There’s nothing we want or need badly enough that we couldn’t cut somewhere else to preserve that savings rate because I refuse to compromise in a way that exposes us more to the risk of being poor and sick/disabled. I watched my mom live and die without savings, without choices, and without adequate care, I’m not doing it.
Investing, take some risks to grow our assets – As much of a cash hoarder as I am, we have to increase our income in ways that will provide a viable means of retirement income when the time comes. Research continues to effectively invest our income across a variety of vehicles, not just the stock market. Anything can happen and diversifying is one kind of insurance against any single area crashing.
In an ideal world, I don’t want to work a corporate job until I hang up my spurs, and I know PiC doesn’t want to either, so this serves more than one purpose.
3.What if we get in an accident/lose our home?
Insurance, speaking of … – Every so often, I reevaluate not only if we can get a better rate, but also whether our insurance is enough for our needs. We carry car insurance, homeowners’ insurance and an earthquake rider. I’m also considering an umbrella policy.
We’ve been scoffed at for carrying an earthquake insurance rider and to that I say: Psh! I’m no fool, we can’t afford to cash flow the rebuild of our entire home and the cost to live in the meantime, and that’s the risk I’m insuring against. In an area where the USGS predicts a 99.1% chance of a catastrophic earthquake in the next 50 years, it’s hardly throwing money away.
4.What if our computers crash or die a fiery death?
Bills, Data, & Records – while I’m mostly banking and doing most transactions online, I don’t think our system is nearly ready for any number of problems. I do most of the bill paying, this needs to be more automated and organized so that PiC can take over if necessary. I do all our investing, he also needs to have easy access to the necessary information. And we need to make sure all our important records are not only digital, they’re saved in more than one place in case of natural disaster.
5.We live in CA, what happens WHEN we experience a real natural disaster?
Earthquake, Fire, & General Disasters – Where you have an earthquake, you have a huge risk of fire following. Just look at what happened in Napa, recently. We have a long way to go on this prep and I’m just getting things organized. We need an emergency kit for us at home, for PiC’s office, for the cars, and for the dog. (Seamus is really strong so he could actually carry his own emergency pack of food and water once I find one, that’s one minor relief.) It’s weird how much easier it is to spend money on immediate needs even when I know this is something that just absolutely has to get done.
I’ve ordered some emergency food, but we still need food, water, some form of shelter, decent shoes, crank powered radio/charger thing, flashlight, etc. Basically add everything in this post with an eye to portability in case the house is damaged and unsafe; I don’t love the premade kits because of the need for portability so I’m taking some notes from the USGS recommendations.
Also, we need a plan for what we do when and if this disaster strikes and PiC and I are separated.
Think that’s enough to be getting on with? What’s on your mind when you start thinking What If?
October 17, 2014
Change from September: 1.38% decrease
Change from January: (366.75% total); 5.12% decrease
On Money
I’m working away at Swagbucks to earn Amazon money for household, Little Bean, and dog things we need. Feel free to join using my referral link if you like!
***
We lost about $17K in the retirement accounts. I probably picked a bad day to update the accounts as the market’s been very volatile this week. Ah well.
***
Short term savings: I’ve always had a mix of savings accounts and CDs, a holdover from the high-interest rates days. Over time, I’ve winnowed them down to cut down on the complication of my day to day tracking. My last high-interest CD with Citibank is maturing next summer, so I’ll have to start thinking about where to park that next. I’ve got a couple CDs with Ally expiring in 2016, so that too will need a better earning home.
***
Checking and savings accounts: Speaking of winnowing, where I used to have about 25 accounts (half because of the high interest rates, half because I liked to break out the destination of all that money), I’d like to only have several. I mainly bank with online only accounts now, but will likely hang onto one B&M bank for physical transactions. It’s possible we don’t even need that if I can break the habit of carrying the B&M card and take the online bank debit card instead; I’m pretty sure they waive all foreign ATM fees since they don’t have their own ATMs.
To date, I’ve closed 4 accounts with 2 banks and have 3 more credit cards to cancel.
***
2013. Taxes. Have. Been. FILED! HALLELUJAH. Now, of course, I need to clean up my notes for 2014 to cut down on the amount of prep and review notes that I give the CPA next spring.
***
Stupid Money: Got another one of those fun surprises in the mail that feature a photo of your car and license plate. Technically it IS my car, but it was not driven by me. That’s right, this was another Family-Money-Fail. There should be a shower on confetti every time that happens.
The bright side? Rather than the $30 that the City of Orange once tried to get out of me when it was their toll booth that was out of order, this was only 45 cents and they let me pay online with a credit card without any CC fees. So that was the cheapest ding ever.
***
Little Bean Money: Lauren reminded me of a thing I’d managed to let slip. Little Bean’s officially got a dedicated chunk of savings transferring directly out of my paycheck (and soon, PiC’s) into an LB savings account. This little cushion will be comforting and good practice for when that money’s just flying out the door.
On Life
Adding another dependent to the household is a whole lot of work. I don’t think I fully understood what I signed up for here!
We’ve been coping relatively well, I think, with all the extra challenges of my even-more decreased mobility and lack of energy, and still getting some of the cleaning and purging done around here so that’s good but it does feel like there’s a mountain or two left to climb before we’re materially ready. I have no doubt there’s no way to mentally prepare for this sort of change, except to remind ourselves to be flexible. Over and over and over.
***
Congrats to Jordann for an October NW increase.
SaverSpender had an increase despite significant spending & comes within spitting distance of a quarter million.
Alicia’s quarterly report shows some major progress.
October 15, 2014
I was doing some back end blog work, going through old drafts and deleting them to clear out the archives etc, when I ran across an old memory that had me shaking my head all over again.
*****
After a colleague snooped on my phone and read my blog emails, I’d changed this blog URL and name to prevent her from finding the content. In the process, I also removed all posts that talked about work in any detail, and this was one of them (excerpts from what feels like a lifetime ago):
I work for the world’s least professional office.
I sat down and had a nerve-wracking chat with my bosses yesterday … It’s come to my attention that while I’ve been fussing about not making enough money, I really needed to bite the bullet as my poorness was really hitting me hard, psychologically.
No, I’ve never had to go hungry. But Ma always counts her pennies because it’s such a burden on me taking care of all their bills, and for some reason, that makes me feel like I’m just not doing well enough. So, take a dash of knowing that I’m absolutely responsible (it’s a cultural thing) for their uncertain futures, especially if they never manage to earn a living wage again, add three spoons of my own stress to knowing that despite all my work I’ve not secured any sort of future for them or myself when I’m ready to get married, and I’m constantly one foot over the abyss.
I racked my brains on the most polite, professional approach and borrowed heavily from Madame X’s article on how to ask for a hefty raise based on your merit and excellent performance reviews.
For many reasons, the worst of which was that I felt if I deserved it they would have already given me my raise, I didn’t want to ask. [Ed Note: I never felt this way again.] I didn’t want to admit that I needed it. I didn’t want to admit that I was struggling even with the overtime, and I really didn’t want to admit that I didn’t want to work so dang hard just to make ends meet! No matter how true it was, I wanted (needed) this raise because I really truly deserved it, not because I was struggling with home life.
I said (almost whispered, honestly) that as much as I have wanted to stay here and continue learning and growing as an employee of this office, I had reasons to need to prioritize my salary and no longer had the luxury of choosing to trade the lower salary for the current work environment (which is the best it’s ever been.) I mentioned that I’d looked up average salary ranges for offices of our size, in our area, and with fewer responsibilities and that it was significantly higher than mine. While I didn’t expect them to meet it (as it would be doubling my salary) that’s still a huge discrepancy in what I’m sacrificing in basic salary. I left it at that because I didn’t want to admit how much the sacrifice of a higher salary was hurting me personally and professionally. I also did make it clear that leaving (right now) is the last thing I want to do (because it would be a pretty stupid move to lose my health insurance and income when I have a small e-fund and so much stress and demand at home.)
I wanted this to be a professional plea, not a personal one. After all, in what employer’s mind does your rent or bills play a role in determining your salary?
Mine, as it turns out.
The boss wanted to know what the REAL reason was for this. He said that if I were happy in this environment why was I looking? Unless I was looking for a reason to jump ship, or else it had to be pressures at home that prompted this. He demanded to know the truth behind the matter, he feels like I’m too private which he hates because he wants this to be a family environment. If I have a need, I have to come right out and tell them what’s bothering me rather than hiding it.
Never mind that this is a place of business, not my personal therapist’s office… Since I didn’t want this to be a complete disaster I had to ‘fess up to the fact that yes, I’m experiencing a great deal of pressure at home and although I’ve been trying really hard to make it work, I’ve been fighting a losing battle for years.
Only in MY office does the illogical, personal crybaby approach work best. How am I supposed to learn good professional habits here??
Years later, I’m still shaking my head over that laughably bad recollection.
In that place, without a regular, formal evaluation process, there was no clear mechanism to ask for raises. That wasn’t my first job but it was the first non-retail job; asking for a raise in a unprofessional professional environment was that much more stressful.
Color me ever so grateful that I’m well out of a place where emotion trumps logic and professionalism. I was young and naive, that’s for darn sure, but even then I recognized that whole situation stank.
I’ve had my fair share of experience with terrible workplaces and bad managers over the years but this particular chapter was special. And, as is so often the case, this is only one of the many incidents (spanning sexual harassment, employment discrimination, verbal abusive and unacceptable in the workplace behaviors) that I either experienced or witnessed with terrible people. But this is one that directly pertains to money. 😉
After several years of freedom, it’s easy to look back and laugh at just how awful they were as colleagues and as people; in fact, it was huge motivation not just to get the hell out of there but to grow my career so I’d never be so dependent on or forced to stay in close proximity to awful people again.
:: I know I’m not the only one with a horror story or two, what’s your best/worst?
