About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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December 9, 2024
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 5, Day 229: Work is positively harrowing this week. It’s going to be more late nights for another couple weeks after many weeks of late nights. I’m totally over it but still, have to keep on for a bit longer. Telling myself: breathe, hydrate, take it one day at a time. Get through as much as I can the earlier part of the week so that the meetings that come later do not derail everything in my brain.
An annoying thing: I asked my orthodontist about ongoing retainer care last year and was basically brushed off. They told me to keep wearing my last set of aligners. Fast forward a year and change: I’ve ground my teeth at night so much that there’s a hole in my aligner. I was in the office for JB’s appointment and asked them how I’d order new aligners and they were very confused. I should have been offered a retainer and a retainer program that covers up to 2 sets of retainers a year, for $900. For comparison, outright buying a new set of retainers costs $800. Additional annoyance, I was not prepared for that expense to be debited from our checking account and it temporarily dropped our balance below the daily required minimum for a day while the transfer in to cover the charge was taking some time. I normally never use the debit card to avoid this but the receptionist was being a pain about it and I needed to be done. Chase charged me a $12 service fee once that happened so today I politely asked them if they would refund the fee this time. I have never dropped the balance below that number in the 7 years the account has been open, surely we’re good for a waiver once in a long while.
Year 5, Day 230: New money side quests! Some investments a couple years back incurred preemptive withholding tax and it took me ages to figure out how to file the refund request. Finally figured it out and filed for a refund going back three years. This was sent to them in March. We finally received the letter today confirming that they were paying up, but the transfer is now two weeks late. The snail mail letter made it before the actual transfer. I followed up by email to see if they did it properly or if it got kicked back – wire transfers are the pits, and international transfers are worse. Crossing my fingers that they reply promptly and don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I know some financial institutions to have forked up wire transfers three times in a row. And they call themselves professional.
Second one: Saving JB’s backpack from zipper derailment. We considered buying a repair kit, but between the two of us, managed to save that $9. PiC reseated the zipper and then that curved needle I bought last year to save my own backpack came in handy again – though I should get a pair of pliers to help push it through thick fabric. I painfully sewed up the end of zipper into the side of the backpack, and added an extra patch to reinforce the physical backstop. It is very ugly but just needs to hold until the bottom of the backpack wears out – that probably won’t be too terribly long. So many finger cramps!
Also also, DRAT. I forgot to put in my replacement Bookoutlet order yesterday so I lost out on the sale prices. They are so deeply discounted it was still a bargain, but the principle of “overspending” irks me a little.
Year 5, Day 231: So many meetings today! It was really satisfying to put a big DONE through them as I finished up the day but wow was that a lot.
The new laptop arrived, I’ll need to set that up soon. I need to decide if I’m making that my work laptop with all the work it takes to set it up, or if this will be the family laptop. The latter is probably easier.
Bethh was so right! Netflix’s Man on the Inside is delightful. It was just too short, opinion motivated entirely by greed not because they shortchanged the storylines, and I wish we could get full 26 episode seasons of shows like this. It also featured a few other folks from The Good Place, that was fun.
Year 5, Day 232: My gardening has fallen off steeply since the start of November. Everything was dying or dead, I had to rip out my snap peas – so sad. The potatoes were likely ready to harvest but I simply haven’t had time or energy to dig them. This made it a bit more surprising to see all the grass and little clover-like things popping up in the small two foot patch I cleared for flowers. All of six poppies bloomed during the summer, their heads blew off a few days later, and that was it for my experiment with planting poppies. Or so I thought!
While picking out the grasses, trying to keep it clear enough early on so that I don’t accidentally rip out my still surviving poppy plants if I make another next attempt, I spotted three almost microscopic sprouts that look like they’re going to be poppies some day! It’s still so early they may not make it but there’s something so happy about seeing the possibility sprout. I scattered so many poppy seeds and snapdragon seeds (none of which came up), maybe they’re still there and waiting for their time to come.
Maybe there’s a metaphor in there but I worked super late again tonight and my brain is a non-wonder engine, it must shut down.
Year 5, Day 233: “She was sad, I could feel it. I should not be able to feel an emotion that is inside of someone else.” I bounced off Resident Alien the first time I started watch-listening to it but it’s landing this time. One of my reports had a devastating loss today, and I was at a loss for how to best express my grief in the form of support for them and their family. I eventually decided on a multi-tier approach since this won’t be over in a day. Dinner for this first day of bad news and flowers and care basket at separate dates in acknowledgement of the ongoing grief. Obviously until and unless they share with the rest of the department, I won’t either, but I do wish there was a way to push a button that signals a need for comfort and caring without invading anyone’s privacy.
This came on the heels of a physically draining morning and I really just wanted to curl up under the blankets and hide for a few hours. I couldn’t, of course. I had to tough it out and be productive in the few hours I had left in the afternoon before having to host a social event. It was fine but my exhaustion was so high that ten minutes in, I was checking the time. Still, we survived the week, and that’s something.
I hate that there’s no way to know how much melatonin is really in each tablet we take, and same for all the other supplements that I take. They help, but there’s always a chance that there’s other stuff that’s not so great in there. I wish it weren’t so cost prohibitive to regulate them the way medications are regulated. Of course even those aren’t immune to quality control issues. I find myself wishing for a chemistry set and the knowledge sufficient to test my own supplements to confirm they are what the companies selling them say they are.
December 6, 2024
1. I learned about the Foodraiser years ago through Shep on Twitter because he knows Greg Doucette, and have been happy to contribute every year to this tremendous effort. Greg’s duplicated the Foodraiser thread on Bluesky, and they got a local write-up too. When I grow up, I’d love to have that kind of impact for the Lakota families.
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December 5, 2024
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. The sidebar has ways to support the blog and our charitable giving.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $1060 in dividends from the stocks portfolio. One of two big months in the year.
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December 2, 2024
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 5, Day 222: Victory! I made a really expensive and silly mistake late Friday night, buying a $200 pass for an entertainment park in entirely the wrong state for ourselves and extended family. I stressed all weekend because the site stated they were non-refundable. I did immediately email to explain the issue but couldn’t handle waiting any longer so I called this morning. In the meantime, I had purchased the correct pass on the weekend since the sale was ending on Sunday so maybe that’s why the CSR didn’t ask any questions after getting my order numbers. Huge relief.
I have so many of these little shopping mistake nightmares – usually it’s the wrong size or horror of horrors: wrong day or time for flights. Now I can add WRONG STATE to that paranoia.
The storm systems let up this weekend but the drippy gloom was back in force today. I’m hoping that it’ll be nicer tomorrow.
We took two items off my Black Friday sale list: the blanket (quilt fixed that problem!), next size up boots for Smol Acrobat (hand me downs for the next size up just landed!).
Year 5, Day 223: The phrase “fighting off this virus” doesn’t fit. I regret to inform you that choosing to rest most days last week wherever I could squeeze it in, instead of squeezing in more work, seems to have helped alleviate my sore throat and cough far more than my usual stubborning my way through. My feeling-like-roadkill meter is much lower this week than it was last week. I’m not totally out of the woods yet, but am starting to feel optimistic that I may feel up to our Thanksgiving Day cooking. My legs ache like death today, though, and I can’t put my finger on why.
Social coping and boundaries: I was delighted to provide a dear friend with a tool that another dear friend inadvertently taught me. When asked “are you busy on Xday?” your answer is not yes or no, it’s “why?” This should be deployed all the time to head off being voluntold oh good you’re free to run them to the store or the kids need you to pick them up or can’t you come clean my kitchen. All things that a boundary crasher could certainly choose to deal with for themselves but why would they if they can guilt you do the thing they don’t want to do. I also reminded them that they can always be busy. Plans to be a lump on the floor with the dog are still plans.
Year 5, Day 224: My Sterilite storage bins have arrived!! They were 25% off which isn’t great but they weren’t terribly expensive to begin with sooooo good enough for me! I’ve designated one for office and craft supplies, another for holiday gifts; two for donations to keep them safe and clean while I accumulate during either decluttering or organizing dropped off donations. Another one for hand me down next size up clothes for Smol Acrobat.
Year 5, Day 225: What a day. On the one hand, no work! And much of the food prep was done earlier this week so we were puttering around cooking the main dishes and putting the finishing touches on the last side dishes. Yay!
On the other hand, wow, were the kids moody and difficult and how many times in a single day can I sit down and have a serious talk about their rudeness with them?? Too Many. Sigh. There are days when parenting feels extra impossible because it’s completely unclear what the right thing to do is. Mostly it was JB today performing at extraordinary levels of pingpong between fine and super not fine. Smol Acrobat was their normal, and irritating, level of difficult and moody.
We had three long talks and nothing was resolved except for my making it very clear that whatever you’re feeling, your actions are your choices – you don’t get to behave like the Abomination because your feelings were hurt. In this case, that specially means: didn’t like your choice being corrected. They didn’t like being told that ignoring my direct requests multiple times was rude, they didn’t like being promoted to admit that they shouldn’t destroy Smol Acrobat’s tower even by accident.
JB’s constant (absurd) grievance that we don’t hold the two of them to the same standards for chores apparently does not extend to expectations of considerate behavior. They’re perfectly happy when Smol Acrobat’s behavior is correctly corrected, but when they are corrected for the exact same offense? Storm clouds and stomping and “(you) like Smol Acrobat better than me!!!” The number of times I’ve had to bite back the snarky “that’s not true because I currently don’t like either of you equally” doesn’t bear thinking about. It’s never made it past my filter but such are my grumpy parent thoughts bubbling beneath the surface. Which makes me feel guilty later. They aren’t bad kids! But the constant drama of harping on wanting equality only when it advantages them (lower expectations, fewer chores), and the sporadic bursting into temper tantrums when it means they get called on the carpet for choices that sucked, makes me oh so tired.
We did have an amazing dinner (foodwise) and they managed to get over themselves enough to eat it. But we sent both kids to bed without dessert. We adults ate half the cake ourselves – we earned it.
Year 5, Day 226: We inadvertently spent most of the day exploring bits of the city transit system. The sheer number of both commercial and residence property “available to lease” signs was surprising. The Macy’s storefront was done up with lights on every window, and the unsettlingly tall Christmas tree was front and center. I made eye contact with a large dog inside a store and we mutually and silently agreed that he should come and put his (giant) head in my hands for cuddles and praise. We had a lovely moment. I normally always ask the owner for permission before approaching their dog but this pup was independently conducting eyeball interviews and it simply couldn’t be helped.
There’s a clock ticking on my ordering gifts for the end of the year. Everything / anything I still need must be ordered by midweek in the first week of December so that I can have everything squared away before the 20th. That’s a personal deadline: I HATE doing anything holiday related at the very last minute, especially discovering gaps in my gifting supplies or leaving out any sets of niblings because there are so MANY now that even with the best lists and best of intentions, things get jumbled at times. I did discover Bookoutlet.com which carries bargain books. They fill their inventory with “special buys, publishers’ excess inventory, and store returns” so the selection is hit or miss, but I found a reasonable pile of books to gift the niblings for this year and a couple books for next year as well.
We have a list of Black Friday related intended purchases but I think we’re only going to manage a few of them. A replacement laptop from Costco and a Microsoft license. Books. I was going to get new underwear finally but the sales failed me so these will have to manage another year. Couple of security things. Maybe passing on the Svaha sale this year as a gratuitous thing because I don’t need more clothes.
November 29, 2024
1. This was a wild week with weather and family and holiday prep and I’m so grateful for having one of my favorite people show up for us.
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November 25, 2024
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 5, Day 215: I might? maybe? be through the worst of my fibro flareup from the weekend. The prior weekend, and then last week was entirely too much – that was predictable but maybe more so in hindsight. This week is going to be a new kind of tough.
I’m tracking 15 shipments for our November families, the coordinators are having a lot of trouble reaching the recipient families reliably now and that translates to a lot of extra work for both of us.
I can cross the blanket off my shopping list for now. This wonderful gift of a quilt has kept me snug and warm since the cold snap and I’m very grateful for it.
Year 5, Day 216: This cold front is serious! It’s no longer advisable to wander out and about without a heavy coat, not if you want to still feel your fingers after five minutes.
I attempted to negotiate my hosting fees down and didn’t get further than a 20% discount leaving me with an $850 bill. That’s not going to work so we’re tackling the storage that’s causing the whole issue. By we I mean, planning to ask a web savvy friend if he has time to help and mentioning this to a very blog savvy former blogger now dear friend and having them volunteer to have a peek around the guts of this thing. Whew. Thank goodness for people who are smarter than me.
Mentally singing “Everything is awful!” Year end work stuff has me completely on edge and you know what we didn’t need? We didn’t need a BOMB CYCLONE and ATMOSPHERIC RIVER this week. That’s what. This couldn’t have waited a week? Or even just two days? This ruined a plan we had been looking forward to all year.
Year 5, Day 217: Reading Joe’s Dividend Growth Portfolio 2024 was a nice little dopamine generator. Entirely aside from my own preoccupations with money, I still enjoy reading about how people handle their money and seeing their outcomes. Maybe a little bit for comparisons but a lot of it is just nice to see different perspectives even if it’s not necessarily something I’d be doing. They travel the roads I don’t so I like the sneak peeks. I have a tidy little dividend stocks portfolio of 15 individual stocks that I built very slowly between 2009 through 2020 mostly. I made a few impulse purchases in 2021 and 2023 of COST and TGT. I don’t do anything with that portfolio, I just take the dividends and reinvest them into our index funds. All but two of the stocks that I’ve purchased since 2009 have done really well. The one bank stock I selected was acquired by another company and that’s just been holding steady. Holy sheets, I bought COST at what I thought was an exhorbitant $362 in 2021, and it’s nearly $1000 per share now?? This is the first time I’ve bothered to look at those prices in a while!
My worst performers have grown 30%; that’s 4 of them. My best performers have grown 340 and 540, that’s 2 of them. The rest of them fill in the range in between. Not too shabby considering I’ve never bought tech stocks which has, I’m sure, been to the detriment of our bottom line. I preferred stable solid companies that I could ignore; chasing tech stocks even if they seem like a sure thing in hindsight is really not my speed. There’s a lot of talk about Nvidia and the like but, tempted though I am to mimic the 1500’s financial portfolio, eh. Also I hate all this “AI” nonsense. It feels gross to profit off it when I hate the very thought of it and it’s poisoning so many useful tools. In my industry at least, and a few others I know of, it’s primarily used for fraud so I have a particular hatred for it.
Year 5, Day 218: Meetings, so many meetings. So many. I did get a heap of work done but like snowdrifts, many many more heaps built up while I wasn’t looking. I had to cut myself off and end my night well before midnight because I still feel awful and I need to get better. I keep reminding myself that they aren’t worth killing myself for. I’m also reminding myself of that in regards to my training. My training sets are adjusted every week but I have that grade school type need to always maximize my reps per set even when I feel bad. But that’s not good! Whether it’s fibro bad, or CFS bad, or virally sick bad, or some new thing, I have to be better about pacing myself and pushing myself. The trainer did say that the work within a week is more important than any single day of work so that gives me a level of flexibility I can work with and still feel some pride in it.
In lighter news, I did my first full run through of Elementary not too long ago, and then ran The Diplomat a while later. I just realized that Alfredo is Ato Essandoh is Stuart Heyford!
Visually my problem was that as Stuart he seems VERY tall, but as Alfredo next to Sherlock and Joan he seemed to be roughly average, or at least not toweringly tall. He’s my favorite character in The Diplomat. The shit he has to try to overcome!
Year 5, Day 219: Day three of this week’s atmospheric river / bomb cyclone thingie, and today’s fun news are flash flood warnings all over. So far we’re ok on the flooding front but I’m keeping a wary eye out and won’t probably be encouraging the kids to play in the rain and the gutter like I used to do. There’s something about the gloom that’s made today feel not much like an actual day of the week. It’s more like a weird proto-day.
It’s extra cozy in the house after trekking out into the teeth of the storm to pick up JB from school, and I am so grateful that we have a safe warm home. Also telling our roof to hang in there! Don’t leak now! We’re in the process of getting you all spiffed up! Please send our roof alllll the coping vibes.
Still sick but symptoms are much more mild than usual, so despite my guilt over making JB skip TWO after school activities this week solely because I didn’t feel up to taking them, it also feels like it was justified because my body really needed that rest.
November 22, 2024
Hope Walz Is Processing the 2024 Election Results in Real Time on TikTok
This is lovely: Tune Into Forests From Around The World
People we can help directly:
We’ve donated to all of these, but they still need help.
Blair lost her car, that also serves as her home, in a crash not long ago. She needs help to bridge the gap between now and when insurance will cover the damages for housing, car rental and medical costs.
Elijah Romero was diagnosed with metastatic cancer and needs funds to get home to his family so they can care for him in what time he has left.
The unhoused population in Taos, New Mexico is facing a cold winter with very few resources. We’ve been buying things off their wishlist as we can. Take a look?
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