We’re finally getting winter weather hereabouts, and the Sierras are getting snowpack! As a drought state, as much as I don’t enjoy slogging through the wet, I eagerly watch weather reports every winter hoping we’ll get enough snow and rain to refill our reservoirs.
“It’s a strange phenomenon, but millionaires swear that the more they give, the more will come back to them.“: 2018 is all about 6 and 8. For the first time in my life, I’m going to trust more in the belief that giving back, as the right thing to do with our good fortune, will work out for us in the end, and focus less on keeping the numbers under our strict control. This is a fuzzy sort of thought I’ve never had before and I hope it pans out.
Tanja’s after my ultra risk averse heart with the side hustle year now that that they’ve retired.
Didn’t science say that sharing your goals makes you accountable more likely to complete them? Trello’s got several reasons why sharing goals might be counterproductive. I haven’t pinpointed exactly why that’s how it works for me but I usually don’t share too many goals ahead of doing a good amount of work on them first to ensure that I will follow through. When I prematurely share, I never start. Is that you?
I’ve been subsisting off Kindle First and borrowing from Amazon for months because my Kindle is broken and I haven’t found a replacement yet but we finally made some time to get to the library and get our new library cards. SHEER BLISS!
I’ve been reading up a storm, and losing sleep at night, which coincides with some massive pain flares that make me lose sleep anyway so at least I wasn’t bored. The bad thing is that my phone is too heavy during those flares too, so it’s being bored or hurting my hands a bit more.
The Birdwoman’s Palate, Laksmi Pamuntjak
(free Kindle First book) I didn’t know what to expect but I saw “food” in the blurb and hopped right on it. It did not disappoint. The translation was excellent, the prose was straightforward and imminently readable, the food coverage made me want to visit Indonesia for two weeks. It’s never been on my list before but it is now!
We tried tax loss harvesting in 2017 and I’m pretty sure I did it wrong in retrospect. I’m not sure if we’ll be trying tax gain harvesting any time soon but just in case you want to know, J Savvy talks about how he did it.
A dramatic story of dodging the FUBAR bullet (Part 1 and Part 2)
There’s a lingering thought that one of these days, I’m going to do something worth selling so I keep reading these articles on selling and pitches to tuck the knowledge away. I’m mulling over what kind of parenting article might be worth pitching to a magazine but nothing has bubbled to the surface yet.
I mentally categorize our money like Jim’s Time Capsules. It helps me decide each priority and what to do with them.
Recently, I pondered whether this blog serves a real purpose outside of being a personal money venue and a bit of therapy when my family is being my family. It definitely serves a personal need, but I also spend precious hours on blogging every week and I regularly assess if how I spend my time and money is appropriately aligned to my priorities.
A friend offhandedly joked that of all people, I should be best placed to analyze the cost-benefit of blogging in comparison to formal therapy. As it happens, as a good human who doesn’t want her boundless depths of rage with her estranged family to spill onto her beloved family, formal therapy seemed called for. I scheduled a few sessions with a therapist to help me work through the issues raised by the Dad issues.
Our first appointment was an intake session. This appointment was to go over the background of my issues, share what services she could provide, figure out what I was looking for (I don’t know … stop being so angry?), and assess whether I was in crisis.
Neither of us thought I was in crisis but there’s also a better than even chance I was doing therapy wrong because the therapist thinks I’m dealing really well with a “shitty situation” (her words) and that this much rage is normal. She pointed out that the definition of dealing well included: not self sabotaging, taking logical steps to protect myself and my family, facing the truth now that I’ve heard it and acting appropriately to enforce boundaries.
I don’t usually love list posts but I love mail so the 21 things you can mail was a bit of fun.
Should I say yes more often as a parent? I dunno, I try for a reasonable balance. We allow small snacks before dinner though if you kept saying yes, JB would have two dinners and four desserts before the real dinner so the madness has to stop somewhere.
A transcript on how generosity in business pays off. It’s a good read but this made me laugh: “The more you can pour into making it a gift about them… Think about going to a wedding. You’d never engrave something with “Compliments of John Ruhlin” or “Compliments of Giftology.” It would be the cheesiest thing on the planet.” An incredibly tacky cousin stapled her business card to some cash for our wedding present. We’ve got some weird relatives.
This made me nod, this is exactly how we approach marriage and parenting which is why our partnership works. We don’t count how many times we’ve done something, we look at what our partner’s been carrying and try to alleviate their burden:
“So often in marriage we’re thinking about our own needs and what we want and what’s fair, and that’s natural. That’s really human, but good marriages come from two people thinking about how they can serve one another and really approaching marriage from a place of generosity. That gets really practical. It comes down to the division of household chores.
Instead of thinking primarily about equity and fairness, in a great marriage where both people are being generous you’re just looking for opportunities to help one another. It’s true of parenting too. Like, who’s going to put the kids to bed? Who’s going to get them ready for school or church? Who’s going to take them to practice? All those kinds of things. The endless driving. Hello. The endless driving. I’m so in that season right now.”
And then I REALLY liked this idea: “One of the things he said to me is the easiest, fastest way to get money to the people who need it the most… Don’t send it to Washington and let them skim off a big administrative charge. Instead, just give all of it to the people who need it the most.”
I’ve been battling back some seriously expensive impulses lately. It’s been months of being grumpy because my rational side knows it’s right. It’s not the right time or it’s not in the budget for us, given our financial goals.
My irrational sliver of self continues to whisper and it’s frustrating the snickets out of me. It continues to say, “yes, but ….” HUSH, YOU.
I make pragmatic decisions every single day, regardless of what I wished or hoped or wanted. It’s easy because my first priority is to be efficient and effective. So why won’t my whole self settle down?
This is my attempt to work out what the problem is.
It’s relatively easy to say that we will go to Japan for a three week food fest or Australia and New Zealand to hike for a month someday but not this year because I don’t want to leave Seamus that long. I’m still traumatized. Those are my castles in the sky. I know the kind of money we’ll need to have ready to spend, and we are not ready to spend 5 stacks of money on a vacation between dogsitting (3 weeks away would cost at least $1000!), airfare for three, lodgings, food, and so on. Time off isn’t easy to come by right now, either, but that’s neither here nor there without the money piece settled.
I’m fine with giving up some things now so that we can have financial freedom later when it’s going to be critical for my health to have that freedom – we moderate eating out and travel, for example. We don’t stop them, we just don’t do it every week. But some thoughts keep chugging around my brain like they’re stuck on a toy train track, refusing to accept the pragmatic “No.”
We’re finally getting winter weather hereabouts, and the Sierras are getting snowpack! As a drought state, as much as I don’t enjoy slogging through the wet, I eagerly watch weather reports every winter hoping we’ll get enough snow and rain to refill our reservoirs.
What I read
Recently, I pondered whether this blog serves a real purpose outside of being a personal money venue and a bit of therapy when my family is being my family. It definitely serves a personal need, but I also spend precious hours on blogging every week and I regularly assess if how I spend my time and money is appropriately aligned to my priorities.
I’ve been battling back some seriously expensive impulses lately. It’s been months of being grumpy because my rational side knows it’s right. It’s not the right time or it’s not in the budget for us, given our financial goals.