December 6, 2022
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. The sidebar has ways to support the blog and our charitable giving.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $916.56 in dividends from the stocks portfolio. There are two times in the year that the dividends are this big, and this is one of them. Gives a real false sense of income security coming into the holidays!
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November 14, 2022
Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 3, Day 234: I’m trying to put together a backup plan in case Twitter goes belly up. I’ve come to rely on it as the gathering place for many friends and acquaintances and the place where neat information comes up or hilarious interactions cross my path that I otherwise wouldn’t ever have known. I have plenty of one on one connections but there’s something unique about the (highly curated) experience of Twitter as a round the clock no commitment social gathering place that’s been really helpful in easing my health-induced isolation.
It’s my digital pub, and it may well be going away. It’s sad. The process of curating a list so that spoiled brat of a billionaire throwing tantrums and threatening to make it impossible to see your own feed unless you pay means I keep running across old fallow accounts. I hate that because it also makes me sad and I don’t know why when I clearly haven’t talked to the person behind that account in 2, 4, 7 years. It’s a thing that always gets to me: reading comments on my blog from years past, people who touched my life for just a moment and disappeared.
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Prices just keep going up at the grocery store and I’m sort of insulated from seeing it because PiC continues to do the majority of our grocery shopping but I pay the bills and see the totals there adding up faster and faster. Making our next to last batch of pasta carbonara was a real shocker. I looked up our favorite bacon (Zingerman’s) and it’s now $19/lb!!! I normally buy a bunch when it’s half that price and freeze it to use throughout the year. We may not get our next year’s batch at these prices.
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November 1, 2022
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. The sidebar has ways to support the blog and our charitable giving.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $216.40 in dividends from the stocks portfolio.
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Many Californians should be getting a Middle Class Tax Refund between October 2022 and January 2023. Whatever we get will come in useful.
I’m getting ready for a lean start of the new year. Traditionally our income is always much lower in the first half of the year thanks to pre-tax contributions. Why did it take me so long to finally remember this is a pattern?
Now that I DO remember, I’m trying to stash some cash ahead of the turn of the year.
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October 25, 2022
Life with JB
When we talk about small day to day things, what happened at recess, what events are upcoming at school, how they deal with conflicts, I catch myself having reactions that are projections of how I would feel (present day me) in those situations and feeling that way FOR JB. It’s hard for me to practice separating that reaction in the moment even though I know that it’s best for me to take a step back and let them have their experiences in their own way.
Mostly that’s about the bad stuff like kids being thoughtless or if they’re anxious about being left out because their good friend moved away (there’s a big trigger for me, abandonment) or if they’re grumping about the work (signs of potential slackerhood are a huge trigger for me as they remind me of my dad and brother). I’m trying my hardest not to fix, rescue, or solve for them. But how do I keep holding my feelings at bay so they don’t spill over onto JB?
I direct my venting to friends, or here, and hold out until therapy when I can safely be frustrated without worrying I’m stunting their emotional growth or making them feel like they can’t talk to us.
***** (more…)
October 24, 2022
Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 3, Day 213: I’m still hacking up a lung but a little less than yesterday so here’s to small improvements. But I discovered a painful bump, pimple?, on my shoulder and how am I still getting these in my forties? Is there no peace to be had??
Over the weekend I sent out a message to our giving group that helps me support folks on the Pine Ridge reservation year-round. I floated the idea of making a big purchase, taking advantage of the upcoming Black Friday sales, to send bulk basic goods to the reservation. Supporting indigenous people for Thanksgiving feels like the right way to observe that federal holiday.
Some folks were able to contribute quickly (yay!) and I started hatching shopping lists. One thing led to another, namely prices adding up really fast, and I started brainstorming ways to make the impossible happen.
Two boxes of diapers in each size (12 total) comes to $350 pretax. Just 10 packages of good socks comes to $280. I wanted to send a variety of supplies: socks, gloves, diapers, warm sweaters and vests, OTC meds, shampoo and conditioner, soap, lotion, and holiday gifts for kids (sports balls, puzzles, books). COVID is still a huge problem, the coordinator confirmed, and they can’t afford even the basic OTC meds.
Once again with the money we have, it’s variety vs volume. I hate having to prioritize.
I hate it so much I asked a couple of my high profile friends if they’re willing / able to help boost a bigger effort this year. Part of me secretly hopes it’ll be a massive success and we’ll be able to help so many families in one fell swoop. Part of me wonders if I’m biting off more than I can chew. Another part of me is pretty sure that I am. But I have a plan! It just needs money and good bargain prices!
It’s a good thing we had daycare today, we normally don’t on Mondays, because I got all my work done and set up some structure for a big fundraising effort this year.
FYI: you’re witnessing a real time obsessive spiral. I now have 50 links for dry goods and pantry foods that I’d like to buy to outfit X number of families and the cost most definitely leapfrogged the current budget by several leaps and bounds. One can dream, though, yes?
I also cooked dinner! Pork roast, rice, and bok choy. And Smol Acrobat even ate their dinner like a halfway civilized human! Except for the part after they calmly set their own bowl aside and demanded my plate. They wanted to eat off a plate like everyone else.
All in all, not a bad day despite how I felt physically. (more…)
October 7, 2022
1. PiC’s bike had a flat (boo) but I remembered that I had run across an old REI gift card circa 2018 when I was working on some other chores. It covered the two inner tubes with 89 cents to spare. Since gift cards don’t expire, back into the bin it goes until the next REI adventure calls!
2. I’ve balanced our planned income and expenses for the rest of the year. I just need to adjust one rough spot where we’ll be short $700, briefly. It may be a matter of timing of debits and credits but we’ll see. Fingers crossed!
3. Our 2023 spreadsheet is set up and ready to go when January rolls around. There is something deeply satisfying about having a fresh spreadsheet waiting to be populated. At least for something I enjoy populating.
4. I took some notes from this chili recipe, and a couple on the fly liberties, to modify my current favorite chili recipe: omit water entirely, use baking soda with the beef, spice the cooking ground meat first before adding the liquidy ingredients and it produced quite a tasty chili. I had every intention of saving half to freeze but the family ate it all by Day 2.
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September 20, 2022
Money Lessons
We finally started up JB’s allowance after an inadvertent kick in the pants from their uncle and auntie (but that kick presented perfect motivation for JB).
We had initially put together a basic framework: this isn’t for the chores themselves which they are expected to do regardless. This base rate ($1.50 per week) is for doing all chores and responsibilities without complaint and without endless reminders. When they volunteer for new chores without being prompted, they get a bonus quarter. They’re required to put half in their long term savings bank and half in their saving to spend bank.
They (and PiC) both thought $1.50 was too low. He tried to negotiate for $5 a week but I held firm. It’s way too easy for them to spend. They need to learn what it feels like to save up for things and that’s not going to happen if they have enough to immediately buy whatever they want every couple of weeks. Plus, the opportunity to earn bonus money weekly is incentivizing their eye for spotting chores that need doing, and that’s something I really want them to develop.
We’ll see how it plays out long term but here’s where their uncle and auntie come in: they each offered to match JB’s savings for spending at the end of a year. They’re going to triple their spending money in one fell swoop. They’re absolutely jazzed about this and on the first day we started up, before they had even established the bonus money, they had volunteered to take over washing some spectacularly grubby slippers that I was scrubbing. The next day, they leapt to sweep up a mess that Smol made. My kid is immensely bribeable.
Week two went well too: they only had a couple reminders to do chores which isn’t excessive or in violation of the rules. They didn’t gripe at all, they just figured out when to do them and did them. Then they hit a jackpot coming up with a yardwork task on their own. I offered them a rate of 25Ā¢ per half bucket, because they were handpicking the stuff all over the yard, and then PiC blew up the whole thing by taking out the big rake and making the task ridiculously easy for them. Way to go, dude. Though, it was incredibly painful doing the payout at the end, not only because I needed to find an additional $7 in quarters but because JB’s grasp of money math is terrible. We’re going to have to keep working on this obviously.
Week three: We hit a snag on the weekend with some dire warnings, and then got back on track.
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We know that it’s best to teach JB how to handle disappointment when it comes because they’re going to have disappointments in life and we don’t want them hobbled by emotions they can’t handle or to become super entitled if we try to insulate them from all disappointment.
It’s sometimes hard to stop the “rescue” kneejerk reaction, though. Especially when they’re hurt by someone else. I think that’s a me thing anyway, before you add the parenting aspect.
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Mom superpowers I wish I had: the ability to cut onions without tearing up.
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Great reading at this age: Castle Hangnail and the Hamster Princess series, both by Ursula Vernon
Life with Smol Acrobat
Some of my favorite things about Smol this month: how they respond to lots of things I say with “oh!” and it sounds so much like “that makes sense!” or “oh ok I get it now” or “ahh I didn’t know that.” Mostly it’s none of those things but I love how it sounds that way.
Like when I say, “can I finish reading this page?” because they’re trying to turn it before I’m ready. “Oh!” and they stop turning the page.
Or “you left your water over there!” “Oh!” as they go in the absolutely wrong direction.
“Put your socks and shoes away.” “Oh!”
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They’re displaying a surprising amount of sentience the second half of this month. They’re talking to me with purpose: pointing out when something has fallen, passing by the office and telling me “ja ja ja ja!” (I’m going that way!) and then “jia jia jia jia” on the way back (arms in the air: I won!).
They’ve started hiding from us as play: tucking themselves under chairs and tables to peep out with a mischievous grin.
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Unfortunately we have hit the Terrible 2-4s ahead of schedule. They aren’t 2 yet! This is going to be a long decade. So much irrational hysteria. So much kicking and screaming and tears on the tough days.
Consecutive reasons they were sobbing for ten minutes one morning:
- They asked for yogurt with granola
- So I served them a cup of yogurt with granola. That started the waterworks.
- I offered to help them eat. š
- They wanted a hug. š
- They did not want a hug. š
- They wanted their yogurt and I gave it to them. š
- They wouldn’t eat the yogurt so I moved it. š
- I took advantage of their wide open crying mouth and stuffed a bit of yogurt in there.
- That stopped the crying until they swallowed and the yogurt disappeared. š
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Books they come back to five times a day:
Down at the Beach
Noodles for Baby
Hush now, Banshee
My Kite is Stuck and other stories
Pupdate
Smol has been learning to help me with feeding Sera. The problem with this is they get Very Attached to Routine. In the mornings, I add some joint powder and a cranberry extract tablet to her bowl, to go with the kibble and chewed fruit that Smol Acrobat previously tasted and refused.
In the afternoons, she just gets kibble.
Smol’s job is to bring me the powder and the tablets. But they don’t have a job if I only give her kibble! So they insist on the whole shebang and then (bizarrely) scolds her when she starts to eat. Not sure what that’s about.
That done, they put away the kibble and the jars and then waits (very) impatiently for Sera to finish eating to give her a dental treat.
Precious Moments
JB: You know an easy way to have flower girls at your wedding?
Me: How?
JB: You just give birth to girls. Then you can get married and have your flower girls!
Me: …… There’s nothing easy about that….
JB: Yeah but then you’d have flower girls!
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Washing a bottle out for Smol Acrobat’s milk, they sounded oddly… content? Behind me? That’s not usually a good sign. I turned to find they’d been happily stuffing their face with something they found on the counter. Usually we have nuts and crackers there, all things they’re allowed to have, but we don’t usually let them serve themselves.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered they had found a secret stash of Sugar Babies and was in the process of gluing their mouth shut with them! I confiscated the few left in the container, and then peeled the lower jaw mold of Sugar Baby stickiness off their bottom teeth. Eewww.
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Smol has some weird priorities.
Wood block? Stick it up the nose.
Pencil? Stick it up the nose.
Pork chop? Stick it up the nose.
COVID test? Absolutely not, get away from me!
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Smol Acrobat signs “open” at the vacuum.
No, it needs to sleep now just like Mommy.
Smol: oh.
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Smol Acrobat signs *milk*.
I offer a cup of milk.
They throw their hands in the air: no no no!
Me: Did you want milk?
Smol: Yah.
Me: This is milk.
Smol: Yah. *takes it like they knew that all along*
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Smol: mum mum!
Me: that’s dad.
Smol looking straight at me, still patting PiC’s arm: MAAAAAAAMMMMM.