About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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October 13, 2023
1. I am cultivating patience by cultivating my garden. The berries will take months to grow to the point of fruiting. The potatoes will do what potatoes do until they’re ready. The onions are (I think) growing day by day under the soil. There’s absolutely nothing I could do to rush anything and it’s forcing me to take more deep breaths.
2. I’m also having to be patient with my attempts to make friends with the blackbirds. The crow army doesn’t visit daily like they used to and the pairs are far more wary of people than the army is so I have to bide my time. It means I catch bits that I might miss in my rushing about, like watching a neighborhood raven run while I plotted ways to leave a treat for it that it would notice. A raven’s run is delightful.
3. The Hermits Union is still racking up the miles for charity. Just a couple days left to get that match. If you’d like to contribute to our team’s efforts with cash, we still have another $4500 available match dollars.
Challenges this week: All of them. The world. Work. Home. Everything is feeling extra hard.
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October 9, 2023
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 4, Day 192: It’s early release all week long. My already short interruption-free parts of the days are now even shorter. But in a stroke of luck, I found a cursive book on sale a few weeks ago and had tucked it away, it’s perfect for this week. JB was thrilled to get it. That’s got to be good for about three days of preoccupation, at a guess. Possibly four.
Year 4, Day 193: Smol woke up at 1 am crying for a hug and asking to go to the big bed. I hugged them until they were willing to lay back down in their own bed. Then I went back to bed where I was completely unable to go back to sleep because my bones flared up something fierce. Painsomnia, everyone’s best friend!
The silver lining to the brain fog was when I caught my brain trying to float away on a cloud of fatigue, instead of being mean to myself and scrunching my shoulders to my ears, I let it float until I could corral it gently back to task. I still got all the things done. Even if it wasn’t at the pace I’d normally set, it was without making the pain and fatigue worse by adding extra stress. I’m learning!
Well, mostly not. It’s so like my body to withhold honest feedback until evening and then run me over with the semitruck of pain and fatigue as soon as I put dinner on the table. I almost crashed but bucked myself up with the thought of cake for dessert. Naturally that’s when Smol Acrobat decided to revert to their “I can’t possibly transport a spoon from the bowl to my mouth, that’s an absurd expectation” mode and refused to eat with their own limbs. I dislike this mode.
They did not get cake.
Year 4, Day 194: The jokes were all on me today. I decided it was going to be a cozy sweats and stay at home (working, of course but no activities) day. Then I walked out and it was pushing 80 degrees. Oh. Right. Heat wave today. And then I saw the calendar and remembered that I have an in person meeting AND an appointment to take JB to the ortho this afternoon. Triple fail. š
Bonus fail: the ortho scheduler / office manager was incompetent and only scheduled one of the two appointments we needed for this stage of treatment so I was very unthrilled to add a second appointment to my week next week. I would have scheduled next week differently had I known. She and I are not friends. At our last appointment, she overcharged for our treatment plan claiming that she agreed to honor the quote but not the discounts in the quote. That is PART OF THE QUOTE. Ahem. I don’t appreciate dishonesty and I don’t appreciate overpaying.
But my blueberry bush arrived early! That was very exciting. JB helped me unpack and it’s very pretty. It’s compact, expected to top out at 1-2 feet tall and wide which is just the right size for our yard.
Also, I scored a really big win for myself and some of my team this week and I’d been puffed up with the joy of sharing their good news all day. It wasn’t until evening that I realized I’d forgotten to be happy about my part! Good job, me.
Year 4, Day 195: Heat wave cons: so hot, oh so hot. Sunburns. Sunblock runs into eyes when you sweat it off. The pavement gets too hot for Sera’s š¶ feet so we have to be quick about walks. Emergency chocolate in my bag melts into a squishy lump. Legs stick to leather car seats. Dizziness strikes hard, at random. Half this household does NOT handle heat well.
Heat wave pros: dishes dry really fast. We can line dry clothes (usually it’s too damp so they mold. yuck.) At night, the sky is beautifully clear and the stars are visible. The morning chill is pleasantly crisp, sitting on the skin, not biting bone deep.
Year 4, Day 196: Friday food review! I made quick panko chicken on the fly one night, served with rice and creamed spinach from the freezer. Then I made a chicken, tofu, and broccoli stir fry kind of thing using up the leftover packets of Korean BBQ style marinade from the Kevin’s meal kits. That was so big we had leftovers for a second dinner and small lunch. The hottest day this week was designated “have someone else cook today”: chicken and waffles takeout! Supporting a small local business and delicious food = happy.
Our local Kaiser finally got their COVID vaccine supply in today so we tried our luck and now both adults are vaccinated! We have to set appointments for the kids to have theirs administered by the pediatrician, so now I have to stalk those appointments. Will report back on how we feel post-vax, the initial jab was pleasantly “small needle” feeling like our flu vaccines were, and no immediate effects were felt.
October 6, 2023
1. I spotted our crow gang hanging about and offered them a few bits of Sera’s š¶ treats. They snatched them right up as soon as I turned to walk away! Making new animal friends makes me so happy.
I’m not generally a bird person but I love corvids. Maybe because they’re so interesting and I’ll never try to make one a house pet.
2. We’re all vaccinated against the flu! One down, one booster to go. Smol Acrobat recovered fairly quickly but the achey twinges were very upsetting for them a few hours later.
3. I started Saturday with a 14 item checklist of things to do, and closed out the day with just 5 things left! Not bad. I did, of course, do all the easy things first, so the last few are likely to be more time consuming than the first 9 things.
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October 3, 2023
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. The sidebar has ways to support the blog and our charitable giving.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $415 in dividends from the stocks portfolio.
PiC also unexpectedly received an out of cycle cost of living adjustment. We’re more than happy to have the few extra dollars. Bills keep rising like yeast. It does make us wonder when and how his salary falls behind enough that his company notices and adjusts. The cynical part of me assumes he’s been underpaid for longer than we’d like but I have to ignore that voice because he doesn’t have much recourse. We’ll just focus on stretching our dollars.
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October 2, 2023
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 4, Day 185: I spent most of the weekend on the shopping and tracking and all the admin work for our September Lakota families (background). I am thinking very sadly that last year we did SUCH an amazing job fundraising for shopping the Black Friday sales but I’m doubtful I’ll be able to do more than a small fraction of that this year. I can’t tell if it’s primarily because reach has shattered since the loss of Twitter or if everyone’s having a harder time than usual, financially. I hope that it’s just the former. It feels like I’m giving up when the going gets hard. People need the help more than ever, this year, and instead of getting revved up, I’m deflated.
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Email from CVS: “Youāll find COVID-19 testing at your nearby CVSĀ® for $69.99.” $70???? I am so tired of this country’s lack of affordable access to care.
My hormones are overactive today, setting off waves of cramps so strong that I’m nauseous and sweating. No wonder I hate everything today.
Year 4, Day 186: We’re still about ten minutes behind our usual morning routine and it’s been over a week of recovery. I’d expected to be back on it by yesterday, but I’m still dragging and waking up later than I should. Normally Smol Acrobat is my alarm.
The first rain of the fall season fell overnight, so everything’s wet or damp. It’s like a gentle warning of what may lay ahead.
Lots of bits of bad news from friends today. Two were injured, one with broken bones, and another one lost a job offer they’d been overjoyed to receive after months of hunting. Boy I hope things look up from here for them.
Year 4, Day 187: We finally got back on track this morning! Dropoff and sendoff (of PiC and Smol Acrobat) achieved before 8:30 am finally.
Following on from the weekend when I made the time to tackle some desperately needed floor scrubbing, floor scrubbing I haven’t had time or energy for since the entire pandemic started, I feel the urge to learn how to sew something new this year. I haven’t felt this pull all year. I’d love to figure out how to make these designs: Japanese knot bag and gift bag. Is it a coincidence that this coincides with the upcoming holiday gift season? I’m sure it’s not at all. Still, the desire to create doesn’t often wake up in me so I try to listen to it when I can. I most definitely don’t have time for it today but I CAN check to see where I can get for liner material on sale.
Year 4, Day 188: We’ve had forecasts for warm weather all week but it didn’t pan out a single day this week. Luckily it was dry enough that PiC and Smol could do their usual bike commute.
Last week, I started a new jug of detergent. Bought it on sale ages ago, so long ago I’d forgotten it was slightly different from our usual. This one came “plus oxi-clean with odor-blasters!” I’d focused on the oxi-clean part, which I like, and failed to understand “fresh burst” tucked into the corner meant scent. Oops. We’ve used fragrance free detergent for several years now so this was an unpleasant surprise. I crossed my fingers that I’d get used to it. I think we’ve achieved scent neutrality today. I’m accustomed enough to it not to be irritated. Small win!
You’d think I’d be accustomed to being tired all the time, but that’s not how it works. I’ve been fatigued since 2013 and every day is still a mystery of “why am I so tired today?” Last week made sense, we were recovering from a very strenuous weekend. This week, I caught up on most of my backlog and found 20 minutes to dig in the potatoes and onions garden. Why does reaching the end of the day still feel like crawling to a mirage in the desert?
Having chronic fatigue is weird. You know you’re always going to be operating at 10-20% at best and yet still try to find a “reason” for it as if it’s not just a built-in feature.
Year 4, Day 189: Friday food review! I heated up a Kevin’s premade meal, Korean BBQ flavored chicken and added a box of tofu to it to serve with rice and creamed spinach one night. Another night I whipped up a tray of panko chicken, served with rice and salad. Go figure, JB was in love with the Caesar salad, and Smol Acrobat was willing to eat anything in exchange for cheese from the Caesar salad.
Are there any good frozen waffles? Thick heavy hearty waffles? The kids love Trader Joe’s frozen waffles but they just make me sad. They’re probably about as good as Eggo waffles were back in the day but I haven’t had those in eons.
September 29, 2023
- I have made a DENT in the piles of detritus that threatened to take over my office! I cleared one corner of kid clutter, sorting things into giving-away-to-local-friend and recycling piles. Wiped down the baseboards and floor under one of the cabinets, vacuumed the nooks and crannies that the robot vacuum cannot reach, sealed and postaged the birthday package for our Lakota sponsee, and scheduled a mail pickup.
2. Also I reorganized things in Smol Acrobat’s room: filled a bag of things to give-to-local-friend, another bag of things to return to the lending friend, and remembered to mentally start a package for a third friend. There was a LOT of effort expended though by all appearances, I’ve only moved things around to new piles. Still. I did a good job.
3. The Waymaker Race: We still have two weeks in the Prove sponsor’s timeline to earn their matching dollars and we’re still pretty far from that $20K cap. Earlier on, I only had PiC do it because he logs many miles but since we’re still not even halfway, I put Strava on my phone, registered for the Race, and put myself in the Hermits Union, too. I’m only walking about a mile a day but that’s worth $1 a day and every bit counts. Also, it’s a chuckle that the Hermits Union has the most members and is the top of the leaderboard! Go Hermits!
Challenges this week:
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September 25, 2023
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 4, Day 178: It’s “I feel like a SLUG” Monday. The weekend was too long and too much, and didn’t end until about 2 this morning because of painsomnia, but it’s over and I’m putting it behind me. A shame that I can’t put the PEM behind me just as expeditiously.
I managed huge piles of work and my expectations. The remaining giant piles can wait until tomorrow and it will be ok. It is not a judgement on my prowess that some days I can’t do the work of four people. I also gave myself extra time to go pick up JB so I could sloth as slowly as I needed without worrying about running late. Before giving up for the day, I picked a second Lakota family to shop for before September is over.
Something set off my bag lady syndrome. I’m balancing a flare up of my occasional “must hoard resources!” instinct alongside my usual must-help-folks-personally motto. Might be partly because we’ve given a lot more than usual in a single week to folks who needed cash, might be something else triggered my old insecurities. I often worry we don’t help people enough and then have to remind myself it’s ok to live our own lives too, we don’t have to give until it hurts every time all the time. We still have a responsibility to look out for our futures and the kids, as much as we do to give back to the community.
Smol Acrobat was a giant pill at dinner but cooperative during bath time. It doesn’t quite even out but that’s better than the usual terrible at dinner, terrible at bath, and terrible at sleep trifecta.
Year 4, Day 179: Another slow and late morning. We’re still recovering from the weekend, I’ll probably be sluggy all week. My eyes were irritated the whole morning, I assumed it was because my eyeglass prescription is out of date, but it may actually be because the wildfire smoke had been blowing in. I didn’t notice the smell until mid afternoon, when it had become cloying and gross. On that theme, I missed an important detail in a text which led to some complications in the kid pickup routine. Then the dinner place we were going to try was closed today. Also irritating! (more…)