About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
Year 6, Day 336: Several months ago, I semi-joked to a friend that the number of “hikers died” stories I keep seeing in the news suggests that we should quit hiking as a quick and easy survival tactic. This article, and the many articles about hiking deaths below it, removed the semi and joking part of that. The only hikes I go on are the ones you can finish in half an hour with adults and 1.5 hours with dawdling kids. I had no idea how much further people are willing to risk going and how much more dangerous that is.
Money: I am so glad that I’m a giant nerd. I was reading Kiplingers over the weekend for funsies. As one does. I learned about the existence of the long term care premium deduction, though not enough information on whether we were eligible for it or not, and writing up that question to our CPA jogged my memory about the question I had about where our mortgage interest appears in our tax return. As it turns out, it was misplaced in another line/form. Correcting it reduced our state tax bill by $1000 and increased our federal refund by $3000. Nerd wins.
Year 6, Day 337: It’s been a while since the inflammation in my hands interfered with daily life. This week has been That Kind of Week. My hands were like oven mitts and my fingers could not function like joints, they were more like blunt instruments. Any attempts at fine motor control were an exercise in futility. Could be worse, though.
Money: Oop, there goes $600, camp wanted to be paid in full as a deposit against the two weeks we’ve booked.
Year 6, Day 338: Woof. I’m the repository for my colleagues’ and reports’ frustration and hatred of the corporation and some days, like today, it’s harder than others to let it flow back out of me. I’m not allowed to rage quit. I am allowed to run calculations on when we could be Coast FI in case I absolutely lose it and do rage quit. Or get fired because they keep setting impossible targets for us to miss (probably more likely). My friend has her money on me getting fired or laid off by next spring and I don’t have a strong argument against it.
We’re all doing our damnedest but our industry is being heavily impacted by this evil corrupt administration. Except our corporate overlords are acting like that’s not happening at all and it’s not only business as usual, they’re going to demand huge growth every single year and by George, they’re going to get it by impressing upon us a “sense of urgency”. FFS yes that’s the only thing that was preventing us forcing sales to happen, a sense of urgency. If my eyes rolled any harder we’d be issuing BOLOs for them.
Right now our numbers, if correct, say that if we assumed 5% growth and 4% withdrawal rate, we are at Coast FI. If normal growth holds. Other calculators say we’re not at Coast FI yet, and if I change our assumptions to 4% growth and 3.5% withdrawal, that adds a couple years. I wonder whether one paycheck would cover our day to day expenses until we’re fully FI because we have a lot of benefits coming out of one employer and none of my calculations include a non-saving scenario. My guess is maybe but it’d be less anxiety provoking to have a part time income supplementing it given PiC’s workplace is constantly reorg-ing and doing layoffs.
I do wonder if the market will stagnate over the next decade or if that’s an outlier sort of possibility. The market is completely irrational so my guess is it’ll do the opposite of what I think it should do. Just in case there is, though, I also ran a very low growth scenario. Using 1% growth, we need $600k more banked to be set for CoastFI and retire in 11 years. Or $800k to retire in 6 years. I don’t like this set of numbers but it’s helpful to have a range of answers to work between.
Year 6, Day 339: I keep getting a weird version of what sort of feels like FOMO. It’s not that, though. What is it called when you really want to do all the things and you can only do 1-2 of the things and all those other things left on the list make you sad? That thing. I’m happy I got to do the things I did do and I’m frustrated that that’s all I could manage.
Money: A completely random Poshmark sale happened. I hadn’t bothered installing it on my new phone but my account is still alive and I just sold one of JB’s old costumes that SmolAc had no interest in. +$7!
Year 6, Day 340: I did not eat like an adult today. There was a reasonably healthy breakfast but it all went downhill from there. A donut. A bag of potato chips. Then a half hot dog with onions followed by a half hot dog with chili and a bag of Cheetos. As PiC noted, twas a very cheap dinner for the four of us and utterly devoid of most nutrition. Whoops. Ah well. Garbage meals are a once in a while thing.
I’m feeling betrayed by Tresemme. For the past year, scents that were once fine are now absolutely intolerable, giving me headaches and nausea. This has been a slow progression. At first it was just a couple brands of shampoo that I wasn’t attached to anyway (Dove, and something else), then I noticed my old stand-by Pantene must have changed their formula because their scent is now repellant. Then my Degree deodorant this past summer – terrible. Tresemme has been my one reliable brand for hair products. Today, I tried their argan oil shampoo and conditioner in the new packaging and the scent was repellent so I passed it over to the kids. They don’t care. I assumed it was because of the argan oil, whatever that is, so I grabbed the next backup set. The next bottle was also the new packaging but the same generic type of product: also awful. I think they changed their scent when they changed their packaging. 😭😭 Now I have to find something that doesn’t set off my olfactory receptors.
1. I scrubbed another quarter of the little oven clean and only have one last quarter to go! This cleaning project might take months in the end but it will be done!
2. I ran across this cookie recipe and felt that I very very much needed to make it. Haven’t made cookies in well over ten years though so I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high for cookies that would never be. BUT I managed to rest enough to scrape it together and now I have some cookie dough in the freezer for some future need and some in the fridge to make them chewier because I don’t like the crispy cookies.
Every time JB is invited to another birthday party, they’re not as frequent as when they were in daycare thank goodness, I sigh a little. Will there ever be a party they won’t want to attend? (No.)
I bought the kids matching jackets and they are absolutely delighted. JB got to pick the color. SmolAc didn’t care what the color was so long as it was the same as JB. They are wearing them everywhere even when it’s not puffer jacket weather. SmolAc has been explaining to everyone: if we wear the same thing, then that means we are twins. But if we do not wear the same thing then we are NOT twins.
Life with Smol Acrobat
This child is annoying me deeply.
Every time I tell them to do a thing: “I don’t want to I don’t know how I’m too tired I need to sweep (sleep) that’s SO MUCH it will take a WONG TIIIIIIME” *whine whine whine*
But if you use a silly voice and anthropomorphize literally anything to tell them to get their chore done they will listen to it 99% better than me telling them.
Me as their stuffed animal: SmolAc! Hurry up and get dressed, you need me to take me to my playdate with Other Stuffie!
Them: Ok!
Me as their ham: SmolAc! Finish the laundry so you can eat me!
Them: Ok!
Me as their shoes: SmolAc! Put me on! I don’t want to be late!
Them: Ok!
Having to explain to them how underwear works for the purposes of folding it: there are three holes. Two are for legs, one is for the waist. If you have a leg hole, the waistband will be on one side of it.
Precious Moments
Apparently SmolAc’s teacher recently had an MRI and told the kids about it. They caught sight of an ad that flashed an image of an MRI machine and they very excitedly told me all about how Teacher got a cut on their face and they had to lay down on a table and get pictures taken and it was “just like dat one. Exactly wike dat.”
Whenever I take JB to pick up SmolAc from the playground, SmolAc insists on a piggyback ride out. I keep waiting for JB to refuse but they still haven’t yet.
SmolAc painstakingly wrote out their wants on the grocery list then turned to me expectantly: can you check tomorrow to see if we have them?
Erm. Well. That’s not grocery lists work. BUT THEY SHOULD. Just imagine: writing what you want on the grocery list and then it appears the next morning! What a service! Maybe we need to develop this idea.
Do you know what an apple cheese is? It’s when you put a swice of apple between two cheeses and you eat it!
Do you know what a finger cheese is? It’s when you put your finger between two cheeses and you eat it.
Year 6, Day 329: Heat wave time! For us, it’s very unlikely to be terrible. Everyone else is getting 90s and 100s. Our forecast is well under those highs so I get to enjoy this as our one random week of “summer” and then we’ll be back to our normally moderate temps.
Money: Most days it feels like we’re losing the neverending slog of people needing help, the list grows exponentially daily, so it was nice to have there two good updates: Nikos: Surgery went well on February 26th, and Niko has slowly been recovering in the hotel room. I’ve been contributing to keep Amber afloat for months and she’s finally starting to get her feet on solid ground. Winifred is a midwife now. Progress, any progress, is welcome and I hope they continue to improve.
Year 6, Day 330: My day is packed. Meetings, work, school meeting, work meeting, friend needs an ear, back to work, back to school to pick up, shovel down dinner, back to school for an evening math activity for the kids. 😵💫
I was deeply annoyed with SmolAc while we tried to get out the door. They eat at a snail’s pace and compounded that with whining they aren’t hungry. Our policy used to be “respect the kid’s intake assessment”. That doesn’t work with SmolAc because “I’m not hungry” actually means “I don’t want to eat this / I’m bored” and in short order they’ll be asking for a snack. They would live on snack foods if they could.
I insisted they eat almost a full serving (for them, that was a quarter of a serving for any other kid) before leaving and once we left, like clockwork the whining for a hot dog started. I refuse to negotiate with the terrorist so we marched them home to finish the perfectly good food we had waiting there.
The event itself was fun for both. JB did fifth grade level activities with their friends and we helped SmolAc try out the kindergarten activities. They impressed a second grade teacher with their penmanship. That was a bit of a surprise for me, too.
Money: Cigna keeps declining my wellness claim saying that the benefit is not covered for the insured. Except it is a covered benefit! Even their rep sees that it is. So that’s a 25 minute phone call to get my $50 payment. I’m willing to bet that this is some AI-powered bullshit in play. So annoying!
Year 6, Day 331: Summer weather means I get to hang our clothes to dry! As long as I get the timing right. Most of the year it’s too damp.
I can’t believe I missed the book birthday of the 15th Incryptid book: Butterfly Effects! I’ve put it on hold and it’s 8 weeks away. *Grabby hands* I’m working through Discworld again for now to keep my brain busy since all my library books either came in and were read or are on hold for weeks still.
Money: I earned a $50 gift card from our health provider researcher surveys. Chucked that into our internet account to pay a future bill.
Year 6, Day 332: Summer weather means summer smells in the morning that take me back to summer school and grade school days. That hit of baking asphalt rising up to mix with the nip of still cold air, maybe a concrete layer in there with some earthy leafy vegetation. I’d assumed that was mostly a SoCal combination of scents but turns out nope, it can be replicated just enough to make me feel like I should be walking to high school or something. Not that I ever want to relive that period. High school was fine but it’s not something I ever felt any need to go back to. There are a few people I miss from back then that I didn’t manage to stay in touch with but that’s all.
Money: We got a confirmation that bonuses will be paid at the end of March but we don’t know who is getting how much. S’pose that’s enough good news for one day.
Year 6, Day 333: Registration for summer camps feels like a contact sport. The regional animal camp booked solid in under 7 minutes. The number of slots available is low but good grief! Actually registering for anything in the city or county offerings is fraught, they all book up within the first half hour or less. It’s a good thing I’ve honed the ability to type really fast in registration forms but also they really need to offer more services. I do wonder if they’ll be able to offer more advanced swim lessons when they have the new pool built some far off date in the future. JB is at the most advanced level they offer for now and unless we want to enroll them in swim team (no, not really, that’s a 5 night per week commitment), they don’t have a lot more opportunities to hone their skill.
Money: camp registration has taken a chunk of my brain. I found a $50 off code for one camp ($600) but rescheduling to make it work with everyone’s schedules meant the other week of camp was 5 days and full price, so we paid $1126 instead of $1061 for both. It was initially a 4 day camp, then a 5 day, but now it’s 2 5-day camps. That’s fine, I prefer the new schedule that means their friends will be going to the same one and that’s an extra uninterrupted work day for me.
1. We discovered a pickleball court nearby and took the kids to check it out. It’s simple and clean. We played very badly for a while and remembered how much running is involved in a game that requires a net and a court. I decided to stop early before I blew out a knee or something.
3. We tried the just-bake tilapia from Costco and 3/4 of us like it. That’s made fish night a little more interesting, I like having two kinds of fish on the table for variety. Some day I’ll learn how to cook whole fish like my mom used to but for now I can’t wreck a pre-breaded fillet and that’s a quick and easy dinner so I’m grateful for the option.
Year 6, Day 322: I’m so unsettled. Insomnia last night was severe, but the fatigue was mostly at a bit of a distance. I was able to pull some weeds, plant a few seeds, air out the house and do all the laundry, buy gifts, clean and pay bills this weekend. All this was followed up by a nap I didn’t want but sorely needed. It should feel good to have managed as much as I did but instead I just feel like an overshaken bottle of soda. Maybe this is a weird side effect of DST?
Money: We have had Giving money come in since our last support push but I’ve been thoroughly overwhelmed so had to wait a bit to pick our next family from the One Spirit Okini list. This time, I selected a mom whose kid needs clothes and kitted them out with some of each of the requested items (jeans, tees, hoodies, underwear, socks, a pair of shoes). I bought a few pieces in the next size up, too. It sets my mind at ease when I have the next immediate size of clothes on hand and wanted to give a little of that peace to this mom. We also loaded them up with multiples of the requested hygiene items: shampoo/conditioner, body wash, toothpaste/toothbrushes so they ought to be stocked for at least several months.
Year 6, Day 323: Time for another grocery takeaway! Once in a while, our neighbors get a badly timed grocery delivery and ask us to come take some produce off their hands. I trotted over today and picked up eggplant, bok choy, avocados, zucchini and some frozen chicken. PiC’s ambitiously saying we should cook all of it when I was going to split it further with another neighbor. We’ll see if we actually manage that but in the meantime, I’m moving along the big sack of apples that I would normally have fed to the dogs to a friend whose dogs can enjoy them. I really wanted to find some horses to share those apples with but I’m not friends with any local horses at the moment. Now that is definitely a problem that needs solving. Anyway these little food shares fire up my gratitude engine. I’m glad to share what we have with our neighbors and that we have enough. And these little extras that we get frees me up to give more to the people who don’t have enough outside of our circles. I like to think of it as a giant community cycle of some kind, maybe concentric circles where we push out help from our center, even if we never meet the people we help outside our local circles.
Year 6, Day 324: Trainer stuff: I’ve been struggling to get back to my “good” performance in working out: completing all sets assigned on my 3-4 days of written workouts. The CFS kicked my ass for several weeks, the depression spiral and suicidal ideation period was another asskicking. Overall time and energy have been hugely scarce on top of all that, and some days had to be rest days.
I have never gone a week without doing some sets but it’s never what I’d call enough. It feels like I’m wasting my trainer’s time because so little progress is made one week to the next. But this is a mental exercise in seeing the service of my trainer as separate from my performance of the workouts. If my body could just consistently improve, I wouldn’t need him to begin with.
Money: I’ve redeemed our Cigna Wellness Incentives for the kids and myself as our dental appointments are all done. That’ll be $150 in our pocket which covers the premium. PiC’s $50 when he does his well check will be profit in our pockets.
Year 6, Day 325: DST is kicking everyone’s asses. SmolAc sat up crying hysterically for an hour? hours? in the middle of the night, I don’t know when it was or how long. Just that I had to cuddle them until they finally settled down and fell asleep at 2 am. I’m so tired.
Work stress: I can taste actual adrenaline, I’m so stressed these days. I hate this.
Money: JB’s friend is asking for bookstore gift cards for their birthday. What’s an appropriate amount to gift kids turning 11-12? I’ve usually spent $20-25 per kid when gifting books or cash for the younger set, usually shopping from Bookoutlet if I can to save some cash. I’m not sure if $25-35 or more makes sense. To add to the confusion, this latest party involves the host telling us that they’re giving the kids $40 worth of credit to use so I have an idea of what they’re spending on the party itself. I don’t usually know that.
Year 6, Day 326: Having a bit of an existential crisis internal scream-fest. The existence and use of AI is destroying my professional world AND destroying the one planet we have and the helplessness I feel about that, though we fight against it daily – literally, is eating my sanity. I was just telling a friend that if all we did was bullshit anyway I could just shrug it off some. But I can’t. The stuff we output actually matters. So, between the massively organized fraud that people are perpetuating and the use of AI to create utter slop in ways that are going to deeply impact (actual real life things I can’t get into here but it’s serious), oh my GAHHHHHH. We are fighting against it, daily, and have been since the first ChatGPT came out. It’s grinding me down.
Money: SmolAc was invited to a birthday party and hah! The stack of books that I bought for the last party they were invited to (but arrived too late) can now be wrapped for this kid’s gifts. MRSP: $40. I paid $22. Stash of gifts, FTW.
1. I’m grateful for our robot vacuum. It’s getting old, it can’t do corners or crevices, and is limited to the wider areas of space but even still it can do the job well enough to save me the energy of running the full vacuum everywhere.
Helping folks: There’s still time to hit up the fandom craft market! This is a fundraiser run by Our Family, Our Fight for the American Immigration Council.
AIC provides legal representation to thousands of people detained by ICE, as well as working legislatively and through the courts to challenge our broken immigration system. They also work in 40 states to help local leaders and communities fight back.
