February 9, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (297)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 287: We let JB have a friend over for the weekend AND we did fun stuff with the kids on both days, so now I’m paying the piper. Again. Well, I suppose it’s not “again” if it never stopped. Worst game my body plays – is it virus or is it CFS?: slight congestion, brain fog, fatigue, body aches, massively sore throat. Since I still can’t take off work, I still cherry pick only the most critical work and the rest just has to wait.

I’m relieved to see that, for today/now, Haitian TPS status is preserved.

I have had Rizzoli & Isles on for background these past two weeks and was really sad when they cut out one of the main characters at the start of Season 5. Looking him up, the waterworks turned on – the actor had died by suicide over a decade ago and they had to write him out of the show. I’d excuse myself saying that being bedridden for weeks has me maudlin, and maybe it has, but I’m pretty sure motherhood broke my thick armadillo shell of stoicism. I cry over the most random things.

Year 6, Day 288: Accounting fun bits: I’m changing our annual tracking sheet variables. I used to define Fixed and Variable spending as separate categories. The idea was that we had more control over Variable and could cut back on that type of spending in a pinch so it’s good to have that spending pre-identified. Several years later, it’s never been useful information so it’s all just Spending. The side income category isn’t useful anymore so now I track Reimbursements – I’d like to know what income is actually repayment from friends or entities (FSA, Delta Dental, etc).

Looking ahead to 2027 when both kids will be in public school, there will be a massive savings on the daycare line item. In its place, I need to project the cost for summer camp for both kids since the dependent care FSA is up to $7500 – can we use that full amount. A shame that couldn’t have been increased years ago when we could make full use of it. But two kids, summer camps seem to run $500-800 a week (on the higher end for some of the specialty education options like science stuff). PiC found an art camp year but $1000 a week was far too rich for our blood. Let’s say they’re in 8 weeks of camps x 2 kids x average $600 a week: holy smokes, that’s $9600 for part of the summer. There we go, we could easily use up the $7500 FSA for 2027. Phew. That’s one question answered.

Year 6, Day 289: JB’s dental woes continue apace. More of their adult teeth are coming in crooked. They haven’t come through yet but we’re definitely going to need braces again when they do.

SmolAc’s latest dental X-rays confirmed they will need braces eventually, too. Drat. I knew it was a strong likelihood but hoped. *Mentally allocate $6000-7000* Unfortunately our dentist no longer refers to the one we are currently using for JB because they don’t like the quality of their work. JB’s halfway through their treatment, so we have to stick with them until we know what we need to do for Phase 2. I bet we are only paid up through the start of Phase 2 but best to review the paperwork and be sure. Meanwhile I’ll need to do a bit of research on the recommended local orthodontists. This change in quality is a damn shame, their office is so convenient for us.

Year 6, Day 290: I’m on a fairly annoying weekslong quest to improve my working from bed conditions. I’ve got a lapdesk that tilts. It’s been fine for 1-3 days working from bed but that’s half of what I need when I have to work for weeks in bed. I really need a lapdesk that tilts and is mounted on a swingarm so that I can move it away from my position on the bed rather than struggling like an upside down turtle when I need to get out. I’ve searched all over and there are dozens of options, none of which fit the bill. Accidentally ordered one in a fit of optimism only to realize the measurements were all wrong, so that’s going to back. I spent a day trying out different set ups with the stuff that I already have on hand, that didn’t help, it just set off a cascade of pain. Whoops.

Related: I tend to save the Ilona Andrews blog to read in big bunches, especially to stave off depression after long bouts of fibro or CFS flares, and so I’m only just now reading the Christmas Eve post. Innkeeper Innkeeper we might get our next Innkeeper this year!!! (Also those straw mushrooms are the correct mushrooms to use in tom yum soup but our Thai restaurants started using sliced white mushrooms instead. Yuck. So I feel Ilona’s pain.)

That news really hit the spot.

Today was the first day there were signs of the CFS receding even the littlest bit after several weeks of dying slowly inside from fatigue. Hilariously, the heartburn and fibro pain immediately flared up in its place.

Year 6, Day 291: I’m up to feeling about 15% human today! That’s well up from the 0-3% I’ve been feeling for about 3 weeks.  I’ve been in the sub 20% range for 7 weeks. This is the danger zone. This is where I feel juuuuust human enough that I will force myself to do “little” things I need or want to do, repeatedly, because I haven’t sunk under the pressure YET and willpower through until collapse. If I do that when I’m nearer my baseline of 65%, I can recover in a day or three. At 15%, it’ll be weeks of recovery. This round I’m working on being extra mindful of this tendency and communicating better with PiC. More honestly, more transparently. I’ve always been one to hide my weakness but it’s too dire to hide now. It’s been hard crawling out of this hole I/we dug for myself.

In exercising, this impulse is precisely what gets me in trouble – this hurts but I can grit it out! Then I am laid up for 3 weeks. Thank goodness for my trainer keeping me on very calibrated workouts.

We’re meant to see our friends this weekend and I want to! But hello, self, all the weekend socializing that we’ve done through January is exactly what took me down to 0-3%. So. Right. Being self aware that 15% is good but not GOOD. I need to refill this tank a great deal more because I have to solo parent one month from now and we cannot risk my being a sludgepile when it’s just me and the kids.

Please enjoy some self-awareness and a walrus vocalizing with me.

February 2, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (296)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 280: Snow adventure with new friends completed! It actually went much better than I had feared. The new friends were incredibly gracious and considerate housemates (making my anxiety flare up around whether we were the gross, gauche, inconsiderate housemates by comparison because we were not in the least bit prepared for the levels of FOOD they perform at). All the kids got along like a house on fire. Naturally JB was at the forefront of all the ruckus, being both the eldest and, well, themself. The 3 younger kiddies gladly and loudly followed their lead, crashing up and down the stairs, amok amok amok.

The snow adventure itself was also loads of fun. The kids tried skiing for the first time despite so much trepidation and I stayed safely on the sidelines with my bruised / busted tailbone. I even accidentally made the acquaintance of someone who is nearly a neighbor to us back home! It was fun for all and now I need a week to recover from it all. Plus do 18 loads of laundry. Cold weather/snow gear is so bulky.

Year 6, Day 281: ACK. I can’t tell if this is because of a virus (very possible, JB went down hard with a sore throat and headache today) or if I’m just so exhausted that my body has completely given up and fell “sick” but I feel like barely warmed over death. Between my muscle aches, fatigue, brain fog and massively sore throat, it’s awfully close to what they might have. A friend has pointed out that if I feel sick, that’s pretty much being sick. So the two of us are stuck at home, together, sick and miserable.

I’ve got two whole hands of ginger so I scraped a chunk and tossed it into a pot with chicken and garlic in hopes that we’d have a warm nourishing lunch while I was too tired to exist. I still had to work, I’m covering for other people even sicker than I, this month is critical to making progress in the backlogs that accumulated over the holidays, and I have to complete annual reviews this week. I have so MANY.

Year 6, Day 282: I didn’t think it was possible – laundry is my favorite chore (sincerely) – but I’m too tired to do any more laundry. I’m six loads in and all the ski/snow gear is clean, some is still drying. Most has been squished down and packed into the newly dubbed Snow/Winter bin. I’ve never had enough cold weather experience to warrant a full outfit, this is novel.

But between the *gestures at self* and the work that I’ve dragged myself through, there’s nothing left in the tank so even though I resent it, rest has to come first, or at least as soon as I can wrap the two most important work things.

I carved out a few minutes to cut out bag shapes from one of the sheets of washed and steamed fabric. I got as far as two sets before my whole body was shaking, and on the verge of passing out collapse. Tis unfair and I’m grouchy.

Year 6, Day 283: The annoying byproduct of this process of prioritizing health is knowing that none of the less critical things, the fun things especially, are getting done. I really want to do them! I want our counters cleaned off, my desk area tidied, the piles of accumulated junk sorted and recycled. I have to settle for up to ten minutes of hobby time as the antidote to work.

Today’s microdose of fun was pulling the now clean but incredibly wrinkled fabric out of the dryer and steaming them. It took me a bit to figure out how to do it but then it was like magic! The crumpled all to hell balls of fabric opened up like a blooming flower and I could see the patterns and colors again. Yay! I’ve hung them up for now so they stay relatively line free until I can figure out how much of it can be used. They’re weirdly shaped scraps but I’m pretty sure I can get at least one large bag out of the biggest piece and maybe one tiny bag out of the smaller one.

Year 6, Day 284: Rant: I’m so tired of whatever this is, more and more it seems like a CFS flare up, that I can’t even sustain my anger at still being knocked down and useless. I am angry in my head, and stressing over everything I absolutely cannot do, but I can’t even use the rage as energy like normal. /huff

I did manage to submit the Costco clothing order for the second Lakota family we’re helping but I hadn’t been able to do the second dry goods order they need.

Sigh. Anger brought to you by my making commitments that my body cannot keep. JB wants to table at this craft fair this fall, and I’d like us to try, which means we have to be making a fair amount of goods every month through June to have enough stuff to put in an application. Having multiple weeks where we’re not getting anything done makes me itch.

January 26, 2026

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (295)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 273: How do we seriously still have a president who has giant baby tantrums over not being given the Nobel Peace Prize when what he really deserves is to spend the rest of his life in a deep dark hole, and the rest of the world has to worry about World War 3 as a result?? *Endless screaming*

Also frustrating on the micro-level of life: my throat was full of lumps this weekend. That’s a sure sign that my body’s trying its damnedest to fight off an infection and not quite managing it without doing damage to me. I’ve upped my antivirals to the “acute infection” dosage. Crossing all the things that they do the trick because our next three weekends are booked solid, I’m trying to figure out Spring Break, summer break and summer camps. It’s a bit more than my brain has capacity to manage right now. But it’s all got to be done before we have no choices.

Year 6, Day 274: I agreed to go on a little quick weekend snow adventure and I’m having pangs of regrets about the whole endeavor. House sharing. Bathroom sharing. Being in the cold much of the day. Not being in my own little Hobbit hole? Not being able to spend the weekend cleaning up the papers piling up like snowdrifts and trying on the belts I ordered for my skirts to see if they work? It’s about all I can do to make myself take deep breaths and be Zen about it.

PiC’s in charge of organizing all the cold weather gear because I have no time and this is more his deal. Plus I have never properly done any of this – as a Southern Californian born and raised, and without money to travel or do fun things, snow was a thing that happened to other people. He’s getting everyone outfitted from head to toe and that’s going to cost a pretty penny in the end. I’m not looking forward to totalling up the costs but I set ourselves a budget and he’s doing his best to stay at budget.

Year 6, Day 275: A nasty byproduct of being deemed competent in a leadership position is being voluntold to do things like presentations and business travel. I hate presentations and blergh business travel. I very tidily dodged all but one trip last year, through honest but perhaps less than chivalrous means. (Must I be chivalrous when dealing with an equal counterpart?k May I manage the same this year, or better. Zero trips, I vote for zero business trips. I want to see nothing and nobody. Just let me do my job.

In exciting news, I’ve been promoted to the 8 lb weights for my bicep curls. Did I mention that? I can’t recall. But we start with very low rep ranges (6-10) when we start a new weight level and I was enthusiastically trying to hit the high end of the range tonight when I reread my assignment and realized it said FOUR sets. Not just two. Oh. Oh that’s very different from what I was mentally prepared for. Also physically braced for. Well then. Change of plans: taking a good long break between each pair of sets to avoid stressing my wrists. My hands look ridiculous holding these 8 lb weights because they are, by comparison, enormous. It worries me a little bit that my wrists won’t bear up under the strain. If you weren’t around 20 years ago, my wrists are the original focal point for my fibromyalgia so I try to be at least a little mindful of overstressing them without being hypervigilant or babying them. It’s a weird balance.

Year 6, Day 276: ✅ I have done the donations part of my activism today. ✅ I have cut out fabric using my little graph paper pattern for two more wee bags. ✅ I’ve ordered a couple organization options for my tech bin to get the cords and cables under control. Maybe also for other uses but they will occur to me later. ✅ I’ve ordered several batches of very competitively priced supplies (manicure kits, cleaning cloths, socks, underwear) for our next Lakota community shipment. I know some friends will be bringing me their weeded out clothes next weekend so this will go into that box since weight isn’t a factor. I could have shipped this all direct but, at these prices, I wanted to vet the goods before sending them on.

Freezer and leftover dinner! November me divided a big batch of Japanese curry in two and froze it. I pulled that out midday with no plan at all. When everyone got home from their long day, we threw it on top of fettuccine and called it good. (They actually did like it, so it was indeed good.)

Year 6, Day 277: I go to bed hurting and exhausted every night, and I wake up hurting and exhausted every morning. The manner of pain varies, usually, but the cadence does not. Yet I am acutely aware that it could be so much worse. I’m in regular contact with a minimum of five migraine sufferers most days, and boy, it makes me so grateful that my brand of pain is what it is even while I’m so sad for them. I have gritted it out through so many kinds of pain, in so many muscles and bones, as long as it’s below the skull/neck. Eye pain, head pain, jaw pain and dental pain though? Absolutely not. I cannot function with those. I support them the best I can depending on our relationship but wow does it sound awful.

Well here’s some fun (not). I discovered 4 more orders at the art shop two days after the orders had been submitted – oops? I didn’t check the business email so totally missed those notifications. But as I started clicking into the details something was weird. The shipping address on all four were the same as one another. Waitaminnit. That’s the same address as the order from two weeks ago.

I logged into Big Cartel to ask them what to do about these weird transactions that seem scammy and logged into Stripe to check the transaction history to find almost 500 declined transactions since Jan 11 – that first order from two weeks ago. That’s over $3000 in attempted charges, 4 of which slipped through. At first I was trying to figure out how they were trying to scam us, now I think this is someone just using the shop as their way to flip through stolen credit cards and as a result we’re going to lose money because when we refund everything, Stripe is going to keep their fees for all the charges so we’re going to end up OWING them. It’s not a ton but the principle of it is infuriating! ARGH.