November 10, 2025

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (284)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area

Year 6, Day 196: Number crunching: I keep going back to the drawing board to reevaluate whether we can/should try to do the HDHP/HSA plan again. I swore it off after the one year we tried it because of sticker shock. I’m talking myself around again because PiC’s company will contribute $2000 to the HSA, reducing our contributions to $6750. I can swallow the idea if we know we’re not going to get more than 50% of the way to the OOP Max ($6800) but it gets a lot harder to accept the math if we do spend that much. Looking at 2025’s rates for our actual healthcare usage, we’d have spent $5700 of the $6800 cap already thanks to me. Under our current plan, I’ve only spent $550 this year. My emergency room visit cost us $250. On our Explanation of Benefits, the list of charges for that visit was well over $10k. Our coverage is really good. (Everyone should have this coverage, I will always believe that everyone deserves this level of access to healthcare as a minimum.)

If we have to pay up to our OOP max with the HDHP, then we’ll spend $12,500. On the plain HMO (which I love), we’d spend $10,500 – but, even in a year with an ER visit or a baby labor and delivery, on this plan we’d have a hard time hitting even $1000 in OOP.

If we only use about $2000 worth of coverage (roughly what we would have spent this year if I didn’t land myself in the ER), then we’d spend $8000 and keep $4500 in federally tax advantaged funds to invest.

Or we could stay on our current plan and spend $8250 on premiums and copays and not have any tax advantaged savings at all.

The math is if we’re lucky and if the HDHP actually does cover lab work and all immunizations, we’ll sock away some future savings for health expenses. I worry about that luck bit.

Year 6, Day 197: Election Day was unexpectedly positive. CA’s Prop 50 was passed. No one thinks it’s GOOD, but (most) everyone thinks we have to do something to stop the Republicans from turning this into a fascist police state and this is our something.

I’m thrilled for NYC voting in Mamdani decisively. I’ve watched the energy of his campaign – the intelligence, timing and welcoming open arms – and yearn for more of that nationwide. All of us need someone willing to do the work in a open and inclusive way. I know he has his work cut out for him. I hope his staffing for the transition and going forward is as smart and strong as it was for the campaign.

It was insulting that Cuomo, the sex pest who was horrible in office on so many levels, insisted on running as an independent, that establishment Democrats still supported Cuomo after he lost the primary, and that all kinds of money was spent on his campaign. I’m especially glad he lost. I hope that sends a stinging message to the establishment that their way doesn’t work and we don’t want it. We want someone willing to try and willing to fight.

Year 6, Day 198: For $6, we can get one loaf of rustic Italian bread at Costco OR a bag of usually 2 large or medium loaves and 4 small rolls from the Too Good To Go app (referral link if you want to try it) now that a large local bakery has joined the program. Some days we pick Costco, more days we pick the TGTG app, it just depends on if a Costco trip is already in the cards.

SmolAc thinks it’s deeply unfair that sometimes PiC brings me leftovers from meetings for my lunch the next day.

Gee, I dunno kid, what’s better: 3 catered meals (lunch and two snacks) a day guaranteed or sometimes I get to eat lunch if I have time and I remember and if I don’t have so many meetings it’s impossible? Of course we don’t expect them to understand, this is my internal dialogue.

My doc thinks these shoulder pains I’ve been experiencing periodically are rotator cuff impingement. Ha, I’ve been dealing with it for years assuming it was just a fibro symptom and never mentioned it to her. Whoops. She’s set me up with a PT referral and thinks it’s very PTable.

She’s pretty great. We’ve had some good conversations in these past few years, she’s been my primary care for going on 12?, but we’ve gotten to know each other better in the past few. She doesn’t have a lot of answers for my weird problems but she has a lot of compassion and is really supportive of most anything I might want to do or try for my health. None of my earlier doctors up til I was 30 was worth a damn so I appreciate her a lot.

Year 6, Day 199: PiC and I have been married 13 years and together … Uh. 20? Something like that. I’ve always said if I were alone again, whether because of divorce or worse, I’d never date again. This one marriage has been good and I have no patience for nonsense. I think my contentment is that we chose this. We built this life and we chose it with each other. I never thought that marriage was important or necessary, and I was always willing to walk away if lines were crossed, so when we chose marriage, that had little to do with societal expectations.

I say this with a bit of amusement that while I’m juggling the Big Job and family and all that, I’m comfortable with my relationship choice being stable and boring. Well, not boring to me but probably boring from the outside. At the same time, I’ve got three friends experimenting with poly relationships and they’re all from very conservative traditional backgrounds (we grew up together) so they were a little hesitant to share their exploration with me. They very quickly learned that I’m glad to support them. As long as they’re being true to themselves and not harming others, go forth, enjoy! I never want to have any part of it and I’m perfectly happy hearing them out. It’s a nice place to be in.

Year 6, Day 200: A few new poppies are sprouting outside, good job, poppies. The counter green onions really love water. I was being so careful trying not to drown them but figured out they only shoot up when they get twice as much water.

Work is even more intense now, this time with personnel issues! *fake unenthused jazz hands* I had my problem staff issue earlier this year and now I have to teach someone how to handle theirs. It’s taking up half my time every day and I do not appreciate it. It absolutely has to be done, no question. Morale for the rest of the team is really low. Directly dealing with The Problem who is making messes and can’t be trusted is the only way we keep the rot from spreading. Absolutely miserable job to do but I absolutely won’t allow TP to break the team with their arrogance and selfishness. Wish me luck next week, lots coming down the pike for this particular problem all week long. Unfortunately that means half my weeks have been borked all to hell and I sit down on this Friday night to realize ALL the balls I’ve been dropping these past few weeks. Taking some deep breaths. Nothing irretrievably broken, just a wave of stress over the tribbles of my to do list. But the first step is making sure everything gets ON that list so I can then start checking them off. Always love that part of the to do!

November 3, 2025

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (283)

Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Are

Year 6, Day 189: We got notices that we still needed to vote in the special election for Prop 50, but I know for darn sure we did that weeks ago. Thank goodness for the track your ballot tool or I would have yet another reason to be sleepless half the nights. Actually tonight’s reason was nightmares about mosquitoes. Ick.

Today was rough. Lots of management stuff which means hearing people’s frustrations over other people that are being genuinely awful and can’t be reined in (for stupid reasons), and getting called out by exec management for not achieving the impossible. So just another Monday? I got through it all, along with the weekend backlog of work, plus a side of doing someone else’s job because they’re too green to do it themselves (which might sound resentful but I don’t resent them, just the situation). I’m exhausted. But the anger and frustration had me too keyed up all day to relax even when I made myself step away to cook part of dinner. I ended up working late into the night.

FYI! On Monday, November 3rd, Microsoft will start using your LinkedIn data for AI training. And remember, you’re opted in by default. To toggle it off 👉 Account – Settings & Privacy > Data privacy > Data for Generative AI Improvement.

Year 6, Day 190: Even though I know we do a fair bit to help folks, I tend to struggle with the feeling of buying anything nice for myself when I “should” be using that money to help others. Every dollar I spend on my family is fine (food, clothes, books, tuition), but fun stuff for me tends to feel guilt-laden. I usually go to our bank accounts to self soothe but even doing our net worth early for October didn’t generate a lick of dopamine today. It just set off a new mini spiral of anxiety over whether this will disappear like smoke after we’ve worked so hard, and what else do I need to shore up and protect what we have so we can keep helping other people. Whoof.

We’re coming into the last two weeks of a major migration at work and I’m both going to be so glad when it is over but also dreading the two weeks after the whole thing goes live because that’s when all the real problems start cropping up. That is also doing a number on my anxiety.

Year 6, Day 191: Launched the fundraiser today. I was trying not to get my hopes up buuuuut too late. I hope we gather enough to help folks.

We had a four hour (“stray” dog) rescue operation that ate up our whole evening unexpectedly. The situation both made me think: oh wow, I really need a dog AND ALSO NOT RIGHT NOW. I’m absolutely too tired for a new dog and all the integration work that would require. The dog was a bundle of contradictions: must have people because she’s chonky, but had zero manners whatsoever; bonded to us immediately; reeked like she had been living on the street for years (which meshes with the no manners thing). Animal control came by (turns out our animal rescue unit is open 24 hours! Good to know) and we learned her name, that she’s 6 years old just like Sera was when her owners gave her up, and also that her owners suck. I really hated giving her back. Animal control was sad about having to deliver her back. We all worked together to help her into the kennel safely and with the least amount of stress possible, but the poor baby was very scared when she saw the van. She’s a repeat customer and the whole situation is infuriating and heartbreaking.

Year 6, Day 192: Fall fundraiser total: $725! I’m still recovering from yesterday’s dog saga, work stuff and nonsense, and still need to delve into the numbers for open enrollment. I think all my brain is used up because now we cannot decide where to go tomorrow with the kids. PiC is the clearinghouse for our kid-related social life and he’s got an invitation from one coworker for to join her and her kids in Town A, a few of SmolAc’s friends are meeting up in Town B, we were originally planning to go to Town C as always but PiC spotted a new spot organizing much nearer to us, and JB’s friend’s dad asked him about joining us wherever we go. To complicate matters even more, JB’s bestie inexplicably invited Ex-friend to join us – the kid that gossips about JB and makes nasty comments about them to other people being their back. I put my foot down without even waiting for JB to come home to ask their opinion. Even if they were willing to spend the evening with Ex-friend, I’m not. Their parents would just dump them on us to handle and I’m not signing up for that, nor am I willing for JB to have to spend their Halloween evening watching out for the backstabbing. I asked the adults involved if they could retract the invitation instead of bowing out of our invitation.

Year 6, Day 193: What a DAY. I used to hate Halloween as a kid. The need for costumes that would draw attention to me, which I hated, having to trick or treat which meant seeing strangers and talking to them, I hated all of it. My kids love it and I’m surprisingly ok with facilitating their enjoyment of the day because I don’t have to do the things I hated back then but holy ghosties is it a lot of work.

We had the kids’ Halloween parade. That was an hour in the cold with an added knife twist of the principal reminding us that this is the last one for the 5th graders. OUCH.

A few short hours later, it was time to pick up the kids and get them ready for adventure. We explored a new to us trick or treat spot and to our relief, it was really well organized and a whole lot of fun. The kids, all 6 of them!, also ran into a lot of kids they knew from different schools and that was delightful for all of them. That made me feel better about how JB-centric our Halloween plans tend to be. It’s been 10 years of what they want, and this year SmolAc is starting to have preferences too. They enjoy seeing some of their classmates so we’re adapting to this development, though they aren’t asking to invite their friends – they’re happiest hanging with JB and their bestie.

Uch somehow it is the end of October and I needed to order a slew of craft things to be done with by now but haven’t done yet. I submitted a bunch of orders, please cross your fingers they all get here before the end of next week?