June 11, 2018
Thanks to being featured by the lovely ladies at Women Who Money, I realized that I should update our money process because it’s evolved since the last time we talked about it.
Ours to have and hold
Budgeting the money
Pretax contributions come out of his paycheck first: taxes, retirement contributions, health, dental and vision coverage, pre-tax FSA, his disability and life insurance. His benefits are way better than my employer’s.
After that haircut, our paychecks hit the joint checking accounts. 30% of our total take-home pay is immediately transferred to our joint savings account for long term savings or investing, another 10% is sent to a savings account, held against the large bills coming up in the course of the year: life, car, home, and earthquake insurance, property taxes (A DOOZY), income taxes if we unexpectedly made more and deducted less over the year. That will need to increase to 15% in 2019.
The remaining 60% covers all living expenses: mortgage, utilities, daycare, credit cards (gas, groceries, discretionary spending, dog supplies and medications).
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April 11, 2018
We want to make the most of our time together this year but still get things done around the house. There’s a ton of work still left to us, we only paid for work we absolutely needed completed before we moved in.
Despite (or because of) the massive derailment that was last year, we’re taking a more structured approach to planning our year. Admittedly, it’s a bit late in the day to be planning for the whole year, this is the kind of thing I would normally have done in October of last year. Holy dang it’s April already!
What we planned
- Take one at-home home maintenance weekend per month.
- Take Seamus to Fort Funston at least once a month so he can romp and meet other dogs. We’d love to do Point Isobel but crossing the bridge on the weekend is definitely a no go.
- JB gets one or two playdates a month (includes birthday parties).
- Host a dinner with friends once a month.
- PiC and I loosely agreed to using the library’s Discover and Go venues at least 4 times this year. I was all kinds of enthused about this, applying for new library cards for both of us. Ours have been expired since JB’s arrival. Disappointingly, it turns out that almost all of the family friendly locations suck in some way: they require 1.5 hour drive one way, the discount is only for the child and parents have to pay for parking and $30 admission, or it’s in SF proper which means traffic, terrible and $$$ parking and walking miles just to get to the venue thereby burning up my valuable energy before we even make it in the door. This may have to be two weekend trips this year instead.
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April 9, 2018
We recently took on a young lady rescue, to Seamus’s mild chagrin, and my heart’s delight. I’m pretty sure we needed a second dog but the first few months will be tough because no one gets Seamus AND an easy new dog in the same lifetime.
Even Seamus’s first months with us were hard. He was learning the ropes of our household and I was battling his allergies: hives, broken skin, rashes, bathing three times a week, steroids which means 6 walks a day, and one (terribly embarrassing for him) accident in the house because he couldn’t wake me for a walk in time. Those demanding weeks and all his maintenance since then has been totally worth because he’s a lovebug, has perfect manners, coparents JB, and protects zir from all comers. He was and still is a big help to me during my tough days, helping me get up and around during pregnancy and during flare ups, and supporting me through the days when people aren’t around. I don’t expect quite the same from her but it would be a good idea to train her like a helper dog as much as I’m able.
Suffice it to say, new pup has a tough act to follow. But we have lots of training planned, plus lots of patience and persistence. For my own sanity, I have told myself to give her two months to start showing real improvement and the ability to fit in. That’s about how long I can maintain all training all the time mode, and I need the reminder that a perfect dog isn’t achieved in 3 days.
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March 19, 2018
“…education is the silver bullet. Education is everything.” Sam Seaborn, The West Wing
Is it better to be the comparatively poor kid in a wealthy school district or a relatively rich kid in a poor school district?
I asked this question on Twitter and the responses initially leaned hard toward the second choice, which would be good confirmation bias, except I’m actively second-guessing our decision. Then a lot of responses flooded in pointing out that the first choice is better for the poor kid to have access to connections and better resources.
That brought on a facepalm because I hadn’t thought about it that way and that’s stupid because ….
I lived the first scenario. As a poor kid in a modestly wealthy school district, I got a good education and the relative wealth of my peers wasn’t obvious. Kids weren’t obsessed with designer brand names back then, wealth wasn’t the ostentatious thing that it’s become today between Instagram and new iPhones for ten year olds.
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January 24, 2018
I’ve been battling back some seriously expensive impulses lately. It’s been months of being grumpy because my rational side knows it’s right. It’s not the right time or it’s not in the budget for us, given our financial goals.
My irrational sliver of self continues to whisper and it’s frustrating the snickets out of me. It continues to say, “yes, but ….” HUSH, YOU.
I make pragmatic decisions every single day, regardless of what I wished or hoped or wanted. It’s easy because my first priority is to be efficient and effective. So why won’t my whole self settle down?
This is my attempt to work out what the problem is.
It’s relatively easy to say that we will go to Japan for a three week food fest or Australia and New Zealand to hike for a month someday but not this year because I don’t want to leave Seamus that long. I’m still traumatized. Those are my castles in the sky. I know the kind of money we’ll need to have ready to spend, and we are not ready to spend 5 stacks of money on a vacation between dogsitting (3 weeks away would cost at least $1000!), airfare for three, lodgings, food, and so on. Time off isn’t easy to come by right now, either, but that’s neither here nor there without the money piece settled.
I’m fine with giving up some things now so that we can have financial freedom later when it’s going to be critical for my health to have that freedom – we moderate eating out and travel, for example. We don’t stop them, we just don’t do it every week. But some thoughts keep chugging around my brain like they’re stuck on a toy train track, refusing to accept the pragmatic “No.”
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November 8, 2017
We walked past some two foot tall Santas at Michael’s the other heat, loaded down with our fifty cent Halloween sticker packs, and JuggerBaby pointed at them. “Is short, mama!”
That got me thinking.
Did you believe in Santa?
Our parents, as relatively recent immigrants, celebrated Christmas when we were young, complete with the gifts from a “Santa”. It’s not clear why, maybe it was fun enough to do at the time because kids are cute when they’re little. It’d track with Christmas not being celebrated anymore after I was about 9 or 10 – we were a whole lot less cute once we hit the double digits. Or it could be because that’s when my parents launched their small business and were so wiped out that we stopped spending time together as a family.
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October 18, 2017
Othalafehu’s old post about a problematic sibling surfaced on my radar recently, reminding me of a memory that struck me a few weeks ago.
I think I was 18 at the time this happened. I had been working at my post-high school job for over a year and had become one of the most reliable staff. The power of youth, by the way, is one of the few reasons I could power through my chronic pain. It’s heady stuff!
The office manager sat me down one day, asking me to weigh in on an application. This being totally out of the norm, I was puzzled. Then I was horrified. She revealed that it was my brother who had applied, and would I have a problem working with my sibling?
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