March 27, 2010
Girl Scout: “I think you should buy these cookies, sir! They are the healthiest!”
Friend: [thinking, are you calling me fat?] “Thanks but I’m buying these for my mom. She doesn’t really care about healthy stuff.”
Girl Scout’s mom: “Oh honey. No one cares about health, that’s not the way to sell them.”
Girl: “What happened to the toilet paper?”
Boy: “It’s not there.”
Girl: “You used it up?!?”
Boy: “No, I took it out.”
Girl: “What?!?”
Boy: “Look, I can’t keep all the stuff you keep adding to the pile…!”
Girl: “But it’s just one…!”
Boy: “The point is, if I keep all the stuff you keep stashing in my car…”
Girl: “It’s just one roll of toilet paper!!!”
It’s true, darlin’, ever seen Hoarders? You don’t want to be a Hoarder.
Driving home on good old SoCal freeways the other day, I encountered 4 speed racers (drivers in wee rice rockets frenetically changing lanes at 90 MPH), a dozen bikers one of whom popped a wheelie for half a mile in the fast lane, a car that had accordianed itself against the car in front of it, a fire, and a disabled vehicle/sitting duck right in front of a major interchange. Talk about a danger zone!
_______________
Giveaway:
Mrs. Money is having a $100 Giveaway at her blog
.
October 9, 2009
This comic is pretty funny all on its own, but I unearthed this gem from the archives recently and thought y’all’d appreciate it. It’s the best example of contrary human fiscal behavior yet.
Shortpacked by David Willis, folks. Sometimes, purely genius.
August 2, 2008
Single Ma’s post on Flirting and Finances made me laugh out loud for more than one reason. First, I know that girl’s got game, and it was just not on on that day. But second, when her game’s off, she sounds a lot like regular me.
Perhaps there is a link between flirting abilities and financial personalities. My inability to recognize, and therefore participate in, flirting correlates directly to my preference for slow and steady finances without any of the hot stock tip business. Emphasis on hot. Hot, apparently, makes me nervous and slow.
Now, I’m no superquick lady like Ms. Ma over there, but I can usually hold my own when I’m comfortable with (normal) people. I find myself startlingly off game around certain (confident, attractive, talkative) people, or completely clueless around others (hello, friend zone!).
In other words, she brought back some *fond* memories that still make me chuckle. And shake my head. And sometimes hang my head, even when I’m alone. Because, Dear Lord. Come take a peek at my past “experience” and you’ll see what I mean. These are not in any particular order except in the strength of how embarrassingly dimwitted I felt when the lightbulb came on. In most cases, I was not the one who turned on the lightbulb, sadly.
Me, annoyed: Why have you been acting so weird all quarter? What’s the matter with you?
Friend Boy, abashed, and apparently heartbroken: Well, I just … I just realized that a guy like me could never be with a girl like you, and I’m just having a really hard time with it, and it’s just me, don’t worry, it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, etc. *rambles on for a while*
Me, blithely having stopped listening after “it’s just me, don’t worry”: I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything at all. So, we’re cool? Cool.
Oy. Heartless, clueless, brainless! Some kind of a triple threat there. I’d known this friend for over a year and nev-er had an inkling that he was carrying a torch for me. And then I assumed, well, he’s talked himself out of making a move sooooooo we’re good? Yeah? All good?
Cute Boy: *shifting from side to side, kicking the bottom of my foot. Trying to carry a conversation with me.*
Me: Stop kicking my foot. That’s abusive behavior.
Cute Boy, looking at me oddly: I’m not being abusive.
Me, quirking eyebrow, still oblivious: Yes it is. What else do you call kicking someone?
Cute Boy, exasperated: Flirting. I’m flirting with you!
Me: Shut up, liar. *thinking* Oh……….. really?
Seriously. I’m an idiot.
Boy: May I kiss you?
Me, startled, looking around wildly: I have gum in my mouth!
Um, probably not the answer he was looking for. I still think that was practical. How awkward would choking on my gum have been?
May 1, 2008
In fond remembrance of my own money and sleep related goof up, I thought I’d share my coworker’s sleep-related angst. Neither she nor I are coffee drinkers, she goes for a hot cup of tea when in need of a hot bev, but this morning, it took her three tries to get it together enough to figure out which hot beverage carafe contained NOT COFFEE with which to steep her tea bag(s):
March 21, 2008
It’s official: I’m beyond tired. I’m stupid-tired. That means ….
1) It’s stupid that I’m this tired from 11 hour days, I used to do 14 hour days, 5-7 days a week for months on end. Seriously. I’ve worked 7 days in a row, and that’s really not bad for the state of affairs in the office right now. The boss is in much worse shape.
2) I’m in a huge mental fog. I’m saying stupid things ALL the time.
3) Everything seems funny. Stupid things seem hilarious.
Speaking of funny things, a friend sent me to this site to check out this actual poster for an actual church:
“In a (successful [and adorable]) attempt to capitalize on the continued popularity of the Nintendo Wii, the Mission Bay Community Church in San Francisco has adorned their ads for holy week with the pint-sized Jesus Mii.
Christened with the tagline “Come and Follow Mii,” and including a very confused bunny, the ad is surprisingly well put-together, and definitely gives the impression that the church knows their audience. Kudos to them for the slick design.”
It’s so cute!
