June 9, 2008
I’m two thirds of the way through my triathlon of appointments today: dentist, doctor and doctor.
Surprisingly, my dentist did not charge me a copay. In years past, I always had to pay fifty dollars worth of copay a year out of pocket. This time, they just had me sign paperwork stating that I was ok with their billing the insurance directly and receiving the payment that would normally come to me. I’m not sure if that means that my insurance has gotten better, the dentist has better billing relationships with the insurance or if they were just ripping me off all those years!
Anyway, I’ll probably call the insurance when I get home to see if my coverage has changed.
My second appt didn’t charge a copay either, so I should only be making small inroads into my FSA today.
More for my other uses!
June 8, 2008
I just found that another good friend’s father is in the hospital. He’s been in and out for the past month, and his condition has steadily deteriorated to the point of serious concern. I’m going to visit him this afternoon, and I’m praying for his recovery. I don’t think our group can stand another loss this soon after losing one father and two grandparents.
March 10, 2008
As I said yesterday, I gave myself permission to have fun this weekend, and to start developing different habits.
Over the past several years, I’ve been overly responsible and highly critical of myself because I still haven’t resolved any long-term problems. Recognizing and admitting that I have limits was very difficult to do, but having done so, I’ve been working on some ways to incorporate actual living into my life and stop using my obligations as an excuse to hide in the BatCave that is my room. I intend to make these changes healthy habits, a few steps at a time!
A look at my typical week generally reveals that I: work, eat, read and sleep. Stress, work, eat, sleep. Rinse and repeat. When Friday rolls around, I go home, heaving a sigh of relief for Saturday mornings, and hide in my room from human interaction. Saturday mornings mean sleeping in and running errands or household chores most of the day. Again, hide from human interaction in the evening. Sundays might require more errands, perhaps more hiding. There’s not a whole lot of scope for say, fun or pleasure.
To change that, I have to change both why and when I get in my own way of having fun.
First, understand that having fun isn’t a zero-sum game. You can have fun, be frugal, and responsible.
Cost: I’m not sure yet, maybe approximately $20/week?
Second, the weekend is a pretty darn good time to do that, instead of working.
Cost: No OT income, but we’re very limited there right now anyway.
Third, I have a terrible habit of taking on extra responsibilities. Every time someone has a problem, runs short of money, can’t do their job, or is having a bad day, I always run to bail them out. No more. I’m going to wait to see if they really need my help, or if they just needed a shoulder, some advice, or nothing at all and are able to handle it themselves.
I’m not bailing out my brother anymore, and stand firm in my conviction that he needs to work out his problems that he’s created in his life.
My parents need to support themselves more, both for their sanity and dignity, and so I’m going to stop jumping to pay for every single thing, and allow them to carry as much of their own weight as they feel able. While my past actions were justified, ie: putting their credit card debt in my name because they didn’t qualify for 0% BT cards, I rarely looked for a better solution than just doing it myself. There wasn’t always one, but there might have been. I just didn’t look before, so I’m looking now.
I’ve taken the familial responsibilities and limited their effects on my life, and have to accept that they’ll remain very present in my daily life, but I don’t have to feel guilty that I’m not doing more. I’ll just do what I can, while still taking time out for me.
On Saturday, because I don’t want MaDucky driving, I used the morning to run my errands, and added her grocery list to my to-do list. Also, since PaDucky has started working some very long hours, I dropped off his lunch so that she wouldn’t have to. After that, the day was mine.
It’s been about 8 weeks since my last haircut, so it was more than time to get groomed. I made plans to spend two hours at the hair school (responsible), a bit of time with a friend in the area (fun), a couple hours at a free art gallery opening reception also in the area (fun), and plans to go out dancing with my friends and coworkers (more fun!).
Cost: $20, gas
$14, haircut
$0, art gallery
$5, parking in Chinatown
Coworker’s friend unexpectedly jumped to order and pay for our drinks as soon as we got to the bar, and we also chose a place with no cover charge, so I didn’t even spend the $20 that I budgeted.
Fourth, a couple hours of dancing was great exercise, and a pointed reminder that I’m woefully out of shape. We’ve made plans to go out next weekend because another coworker wanted to join us, and we’ll observe the same criteria: no cover, carpool if possible to avoid excessive parking fees, just one or two drinks.
Fifth, my friend, a massage therapist, has begun to come down once a week on Sundays to work on MaDucky and me. I opted to allocate a LOT of money for my FSA this year, and I wanted to make sure that I was getting use from that fund throughout the year, rather than waiting until the last second and buying 300 bottles of Tylenol. We’ll do weekly sessions for about two months, and taper off to twice a month, probably. Because she operates independently and she’s a good friend, she only charges us $80 for two 1-hour sessions. MaDucky is already starting to feel the benefits after one and a half sessions, and it’s great help in my quest to stop carrying all my stress in my neck and shoulders. That also means that my sleep will become much more restful. Win win win!
Cost: Paid for by FSA.
Sixth, my memory is starting to rejoin the cast of Mind, Body and Spirit here, and that means I’m slowly remembering my kung fu forms. I’m making it a point to work through them at least a few times a week.
Cost: Free!
March 5, 2008
During Little Boss’s absence, I raised an insurrection.
Wait, no, I mean I instituted a fitness plan for the office to work off some of our stress and unhealthy, sedentary habits. We have a terrible habit of eating all day, all the time, at our desks or in the conference room, and just not getting any exercise in or out of the office.
Coworker 1 is the only one who goes to a yoga class regularly. The rest of us are out-of-shape slobs. For Coworkers 2 and 3, I’ve been manning the office while they play tennis in the courts behind our office building. They may not manage much of a rally, but definitely work up a sweat and felt great within a day or two of starting to play. Coworker 3 reports that his rocks of shoulder muscles are loosening up on their own!
Since I can’t play tennis (the arthritis objects), I’d been taking two or three very five-minute breaks throughout the day to do a little kung fu. My kicks were starting to go all over the place, though, and I think that I was starting to practice bad habits because my muscles are still sad and weak, so I stopped and tried something different last week: Monopolized the conference room for about 25 minutes, combining my two 15 minute breaks that I never take, put on some motivational music, and worked through the beginnings of a few forms. It doesn’t require anyone to hold a kicking pad for me, or any company except when I forget the next step in the form. To stave off that frustration, friend K provided some YouTube links of some classmates doing parts of the form, and I get wireless in the conference room, so voila! I have music, reminder video clips if necessary, and a little room to get my blood going. My back was sore for days afterward.
Today, I tried using the tennis courts behind the office building and I like that a little better. It’s a bit exposed, but I get lovely sunshine and more room. No more running into walls for me!
November 18, 2007
Confrontations: My brother took the car, seeking permission from my enabling father instead of me, on Thursday. I’ve had it out with both my parents for their enabling behavior and finally got a hold of my brother today to give him a piece of my mind for his selfish, thoughtless behavior. I’m taking away his car keys this time, like I should have last time. I’ve also taken away my parent’s keys. How has my family life come to this??
Discoveries: I can probably bid on a one or two year subscription to the Wall Street Journal on ebay and NOT spend $100 on it. The seller requires at least a 30 day history on ebay and have positive feedback due to “non-payers.” I have no recollection of using ebay to purchase anything, but because I had ordered books on half.com 6 years ago, that history translates to ebay! Turns out I have a 6 year history on ebay and 100% positive feedback. NICE. That’s useful IF I win this auction. In the meantime, the website has a pop-up offering me a two-week free online subscription.
Also, I found a stock-conversations friend. Never had one of those before. It’s all very new, but it was good motivation to finally bite the bullet and start investing a little. It’s not that I’ve done all I can with regards to the “less technical” (as I see it) personal finance, it’s just time to expand my horizons. My eyes did start crossing a bit when the conversation got more technical than I’m accustomed to: dividends, divestitures, equity …. oy! My understanding of how stocks work is still shaky. Time to do some research.
Delivery: My ETS check came in the mail on Saturday! +$98! Will have to put that into the Expense account, though. Projected expenses through the end of the year are higher than I’d originally expected.
Acquisition: All the doomsday predictions about Comic Con selling out their 4-day passes even earlier this year got to me. I bought my pass.
Difficulty: BoyDucky’s father took yet another turn for the worse this weekend.
November 7, 2007
They say, (and I don’t know who, but I’m going to quote, roughly, from David Weber), “If you have one problem, a solution may be difficult to find. If you have many problems, often, they will solve each other.“
My real life application isn’t tied up with a ribbon or anything, but it sort of worked out that way.
Little Boss and I had a chat outside today. It was more a ranty-rant at him about the workload and difficulties in accomplishing certain tasks uninterrupted. I hadn’t even mentioned the problems with trying to schedule my doctor’s appointments.
He offered to allow the office to take two work-away-from-office days so that they could fulfill their parts of my project! The benefits:
1. Getting a good amount of work done in one concentrated swoop. That puts the pressure back on me to pull together their parts of the project the following day, but the work would be done!
2. I can spend my day catching up on the whole chunk of project that’s been piling up on my desk without interruptions.
3. Finally, I could schedule my doctor’s appt on one of those two days and not “miss” any work because I’m saving 3 hours of commute time a day just by working from home!
Now, how is THAT for good news?
And in the mail this evening? A letter to MaDucky scheduling her follow-up MRI scan. *big sigh*
Item C [work] has an action plan, check. Item D [Ma’s medical] has a next step scheduled, check. Item F [my medical] is on the calendar. And I just spoke with my brother who promises to have the car back here tomorrow afternoon, so I will have transportation on Thursday to accomplish the above tasks, check, check. Hallelujah, praise Heaven. Well, not just yet, but I will if he shows up. Item G [wedding stuff]… I will print out at work, having received permission from Little Boss to do so.
Bills were paid last night, I’m scheduled to get the ‘brows groomed tomorrow and booked my ticket, using my two Southwest credits from previously cancelled trips, to see BoyDucky for some good ole couple time at the end of this month. It’s a shame I won’t be able to fly up a third time this year to claim that freebie award ticket from their Buy Three (in CA), Get 1 Free! promotion, though. That would have been really nice.
September 13, 2007
The good news: Sis-in-law had just about given up on her daily vigil over the football tickets by yesterday evening. Two weeks of babysitting the ticket sale website hadn’t borne any fruit and she was deflated. But apparently my short note of encouragement that I sent galvanized her to give it one more go, and she’s now the proud purchaser of 4 reserved seats at the USC-Cal game at Cal! She was over the moon about it, and I know the boys will be too, when we spring it on them.
Except. Enter the bad news.
Except Boyducky’s papa is not doing well at all. He was moved to Intensive Care yesterday for observation and an emergency procedure that did not go at all as the doctors had anticipated. The procedure was much more invasive and much more complicated. We’re awaiting news on when his third procedure will be scheduled today, and if I’m exhausted from being there the last two nights after work, I can only imagine BoyDucky’s emotional and physical drainage.
Since BoyDucky’s flight was this morning, we had to cancel it. VirginAmerica charges $40 for canceling or changing flights, making his $49 one-way fare almost a wash, and we’ve yet to reschedule the return flight.
In the meantime, his poor mother is working everyday, fitting in hospital visits between taking care of the business and home, dealing with their insurance and hoping that the emergency procedures were performed by doctors on their network. All accompanied by the worry for her husband, of course.
The rather vague expectation now is that his recovery will now take between weeks to months, but we’ve no idea what kind of recovery it’ll be. We’re just praying that today’s surgery will go well and be the last one needed, so he can start recuperating. Then BoyDucky’s siblings have to get together and hash out a schedule for each of them to be home with their mom and take care of their dad for the next few weeks to months.
I don’t know what this means for the New York trip or the surprise birthday weekend yet, but I know we’ll have to address those logistics eventually. That’ll likely be my job, I serve as support crew so that they can attend to things directly related to his medical care.
In the meantime, I can only hope that his dad’s recovery goes well from this point on. From a practical standpoint, there are many factors to be grateful for during this time: the older kids make enough money to fly or drive home as necessary, and will probably be able to make some arrangements with their respective jobs to be there for their parents. They have steady jobs, and don’t have to worry about losing their jobs over taking care of a parent. Thank goodness their parents have decent insurance. It’ll still be expensive, but if they had to worry about how to afford any of the health care he needs, this whole ordeal would be much harder than it already is.