October 15, 2021
1. PiC stopped by a Japanese market and picked up some astonishing California rolls that used REAL crab. The hamachi was perfect too.
2. A mutual friend has been fundraising for Kristen, a dear friend, who suffered a devastating blow financially this year after working so hard to get out of the hole. The goal needed to safely get her into a safe and stable housing situation away from her abuser was met! She’s put my financial advice into action for years and was making so much progress towards gaining her financial freedom on a limited income until this happened. Even I had to sit down when I heard the latest news and I’ve seen some financial abuse shit. She’s been a tremendous support and comfort to me these past years, sharing much of her (big and small t) trauma to help me work through therapy and (my small t) trauma. I’m so grateful that she will have a measure of peace and safety for a while.
3. Tanja’s book Wallet Activism will be out soon and I’m very excited for her (and us)! Anyone interested in an ebook giveaway?
Direct aid need:
1. Tami who blogs at Disabled Girl on FIRE is working at replacing her income while still protecting her health as benefits have dried up. We can contribute to her ABLE account to help out.
2. Devon needs a Type O kidney. I learned a little about transplant chains this week.
3. Crickette was finally able to move out of a terrible living situation and now needs a hand with moving / living expenses.
4. @popelizbet is an attorney for DV and SA survivors and is currently fundraising to help immigrant DV survivors pay litigation costs. Help them help others? In all the time I’ve seen them online, they are good people. They do a ton of community organizing to help vulnerable people.
Challenges this week: I miss my friend. And I worry about them.
The daily slog continues to slog along without a break. We just have to hold on.
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October 8, 2021
1. We just barely survived last week and Friday night seemed like our last gasp. I was on heavy pain meds and they blunted the illness and fatigue driven pain but the trade off was I couldn’t fall asleep. Ironic since the pain was keeping me awake in the first place. None of this is the good part. The good part was that Smol’s first waking at 9 pm was surprisingly not as bad as usual. I cuddled them, dosed them with meds, and cuddled them some more for about 15 minutes. Long enough for them to fall asleep on me and start deep breathing. Usually I put them back in the crib before that because I don’t want to create bad habits but it’d been a long week of misery for both of us. Comforting the wee babe in their sadness seemed right. The transition back to the crib was peaceful for the first time all week, and their second 3 am waking was also relatively smooth. I didn’t get much sleep but PiC did which meant he was rested enough to cover the whole morning so I could try and rest up.
2. It was so warm and pleasant on Saturday, we did a little picnic.
3. Our state refund check went missing, and I was annoyed because every time a check has gone missing in the last few years, it never turns up. Four checks, all gone. I had to go to some lengths to get the checks reissued. Miracle of miracles, this one did show up after I reported it missing (as I always do) to USPS!!
4. Sometimes you can just tell JB to take the baby and they take the baby and play their little hearts out. I cherish these (very loud) moments.
Challenges this week: The rough seas with Smol continued into this week. We’re both worn down to nubs.
We are both struggling with a major influx of work, and not enough staff to handle it, and not enough hours in the day. This shall pass, right?
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October 1, 2021
1. I made a huge batch of lemongrass chicken for dinner and for freezing. It seemed like the ratio of lemongrass to chicken was too low but it turned out ok. Still doubling the lemongrass and garlic for the next time I make this, though.
2. The bad news is that I got really sick. The good news is that PiC was not taken down and was able to get us delicious tofu soup take out which really hit the spot. The bad news outweighs the good overall but I still give him credit.
3. My favorite AAM comment this week: “Dead employees tend to be unresponsive and don’t return paperwork, but rarely commit outright sabotage. They could be described as uncooperative, but only in a purely passive sense.”
Followed closely by this one:
ACT I, SCENE iii: Sally’s bedroom
(Sally, kneeling bedside, deep in prayer.)
SALLY: God, please if you’re listening, don’t take Bob from me. Bob is a saint! He loans me money. Take Ted if you must.
GOD: WTF
GOD: who gave u this number
4. After 9.5 months in a box, I finally have our sewing machine on my shelf where it belongs. May it be far less than 9.5 more months before I figure out how to sew a straight seam.
People who need direct aid:
- Ill mother and daughter need roof repairs: Go Fund Me
Challenges this week: my dominant wrist was swollen and couldn’t bear weight for days. Not awesome.
I then got sick and plunged deep in a sickness-induced pain flareup all week. This. Really. Sucks. Every joint is angry and Has Words for me.
Smol’s had a hell of a week. Teething, sores on their tongue, sick and feverish.
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September 24, 2021
1. I didn’t feel good Saturday morning, having been up until about 3 reading with painsomnia, but I was in a surprisingly ok mood anyway. I reminded PiC that I would take the kids so he could go for a run, and then he came back in time for me to have a brain therapy session. While he was gone, JB and I did some Lakota Family giving work together so we could talk about ideas like understanding how fortunate we are compared to others and how that means we have a responsibility to do our share to support our community. Also the idea that we can only do the best we can with what we have, and we can’t help every single person all at once right now as much as we want to.
2. I was thinking last week it’d be great if my stuff on Poshmark would sell so I’d have more cash to put towards giving, so many people need some help right now. Then on Monday, I got a half decent offer! Woo!
3. A copy of my Milestones book sold. Eep! I hope they love it.
Challenges this week: My pain was sky-high this week and there’s a lot of direct aid needs right now.
- My dear friend has had an incredibly tough year and a mutual friend set up this GoFundMe for her. Her situation has spiraled terribly since her major heart attack, despite her best efforts. She was so close to getting out of her abusive situation, then was sandbagged by a devastating financial secret her abuser had been keeping for years. I very much remember that feeling of being financially devastated by the lies of an abusive parent. If you’re able to help or share, it would be so much appreciated.
- Chad Methner and his partner Nancy are having a tough year.
- This Native family is trying to get together funds to buy the house they’ve rented for generations on ancestral lands.
- Anne is organizing this year’s support of the kids in Nunavut.
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September 17, 2021
1. Feeling super grateful for our food exchange friends. They dropped off a bounty of fruit and a super special treat of ribs fresh from a beef share they had picked up. We’ve never had such fresh beef! I had a meal from a recent big batch of cooking saved specially for sharing with them but it pales in comparison to their trades. I’m looking forward to making a giant batch of lemongrass chicken to share with them. I just need the chicken. And energy.
2. My body was so thrashed after a hard week that all Saturday was spent in some stage of rest and recovery. The good part was that PiC and JB had gone out so, with only Smol Acrobat to look after, I managed to execute a long-awaited big tidying up in the office. So satisfying!!
3. Oh thank goodness the recall failed. I’ve been faintly nauseous during this entire campaign imagining the worst.
Challenges this week: we are struggling a lot with our interactions with JB right now. I hate this.
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September 10, 2021
1. I’m pleased that on a Saturday I: cleaned a counter, did a load of laundry, paid two bills, finally finished off doc review that I’d been avoiding all week, had therapy, planned some cooking and made some headway on searching for hard to find ingredients, donated to a friend’s GoFundMe, and donated to the CRR. This was all very satisfying.
2. I also managed not to completely blow my stack at JB several times for behaving like your average 6 year old with their foibles. It was hard and I’m trying to remind myself that I did my best and parenting has rough waters. Not feeling great about it all the time is part of the gig.
3. It’s really nice to WANT to cook again. The desire in and of itself doesn’t create the time or energy for it but it’s the first step I always need to making it happen. I’ve been hatching a plan to make a huge batch of my special chicken and rice, some for the week, some for the freezer, and some to share with our food-tradesies friends. Sunday morning, I cancelled our other plans because I simply didn’t have the energy for socializing and spent it putting the cooking plan in motion. There’s something so soothing about cooking, when it’s something I want to do.
4. My PIKAOLE package arrived and I’m thrilled to bits at the small pack of cuteness. I refused to even tell JB what came in the envelope because I’m not sharing my quite expensive special stickers and postcards.
Challenges this week: Everything in the outside world is overwhelming. Most things in our personal life is, too. We’ll get through eventually but it’s going to take some doing.
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September 3, 2021
1. The fragrance of ginger, garlic, and green onions = heaven.
2. I’m so grateful for clean running water. We’re so lucky to have it though as we move towards either perpetual drought or aridification, we may not have it for long.
3. I took Rae and Bethany’s baking advice to make my second batch of biscuits!
Last time the dough was too dry, I had to add extra milk while mixing, and I felt the end result was too dense and tasted strongly of flour.
This time I overcompensated by probably an eighth of a cup of milk. I used 1.25 cups instead of 1 because I had so much flour that couldn’t be incorporated last round. Next time I will start with the 1 cup and add a splash if it’s needed as I mix. This time I grated the frozen butter, which was a lot more work than I expected, and only folded the dough about 5 times instead of the prescribed 10. Oh also I soured up the milk with a tablespoon of vinegar to make it buttermilk.
They were very wet when I was working the dough and I despaired that they wouldn’t work out as I transferred them to the baking pan. But! They were actually quite good! Much less floury tasting, lighter and fluffier. Not yet the layers I wanted but much closer.
4. I loved Xena the Warrior Princess when it was on TV and this thread reminded me I wanted to watch it again. Also Lucy Lawless still seems great as a human. Much better than that limp tool, Kevin Sorbo.
Challenges this week: I’ve only been sleeping in short blocks of an hour or two at a time. Something in my mind or body or both is preventing me from actually getting the rest I desperately need and this will only end in delirium.
The wildfires are raging on and that means our air quality is garbage. We are staying inside as much as possible but we still have to walk the dog and take JB outdoors for their mental and ocular health. The optometrist wants them to have 2 hours of outdoor time a day and that’s not happening but we are trying our best to do as much as we can.
It’s hard balancing the minutiae of everyday life, including a complement of its own horrific stressors like racism, COVID, being affected by the actions of horrible people, being subject to terrible decisions by political leaders, with the concerns almost too vast to comprehend with climate change and what feels like a sweeping wave of right wing Christian extremism taking over our laws, destroying our rights and suppressing votes.
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