May 19, 2009
The comments over at GRACEful Retirement made me laugh a little. Many of the commenters were noting that they enjoy posts of all varieties whether they’re updeat or downtrodden, and that openness is why they enjoy reading blogs.
Not that I’m known for being terribly sunshiney, but posting has been sporadic lately because I just haven’t felt like showcasing my life’s warts and bruises. That’s not to say that what I have posted about has been untrue to what I’m up to, it’s just been more focused because I didn’t want to morph into the Boo-boo-blues Diaries.
But, a quick update on the topics I’ve been avoiding:
1. My family is still driving me crazy. The brother is still only randomly coming through with monthly payments and I’m regretting allowing him back under our roof. It’s not full-house access, but still. Egh. The need to Get Out is ever stronger, and the longer I’m around them, frustrated, the more strained our relationship becomes. And still watching my mom’s mental and physical health deteriorating … let’s just say I’m not dealing with that very well at ALL.
2. Six more weeks to freedom! [or, y’know. Unemployment, and all that that entails.]
3. I’m at very loose ends with regards to my financial goals….
3a. and have been online window shopping way too much. Partly out of boredom, partly because my stuff is wearing out. My go-to flats are nearly destroyed, and … I *need* a new dress for an event later this summer. It’s the last work-related shindig, and I don’t have anything suitable. Never mind that this layoff has zero to do with me or my abilities, not having a job lined up eats at my pride. A lot. [Not to mention, has me privately freaking out a good deal.] So you know, new dress, strong showing, pretend to all the people I’ve known for almost 5 years that I’m poised, confident and polished. Employable!
4. It’s not like not making plans for a few months is the end of the world, but it signals stagnation and boredom on my part. I’m stuck in a purgatory of searching for jobs and contacts, sending in apps, working the network, and coming up empty. Rinse and repeat.
Intellectually, I know I will be fine. I’ve saved, I’ve hunted jobs like a fiend, my reputation in the field is strong and as long as I wait 6 more weeks, I’ll be eligible for unemployment if it comes to that. I can even afford to take a few short vacations, during my down time, provided they’re not extravagant.
Constitutionally, though, it’s hard to go on faith for so long, even backed by a good sized emergency fund.
May 14, 2009
I’m trying to do way too many things at once:
Make travel arrangements for my friend’s high school reunion with only travel dates and no other information, while getting the best price and travel times;
Coordinate a visit to my new nevvie this weekend with another close friend;
That hideous bridesmaid dress has to go to a seamstress 30 miles away SOON.
All this mental chaos leads to my picking up my water bottle and trying to dial it with my left hand while holding the cell phone with my right hand.
In other news …….
* Recently contacted an attorney friend for a referral to an estate planning lawyer, though I said “will and trust” lawyer so as not to imply that I think I have lots of money. He asked for a list of assets and approximate value. Unexpectedly, I was reluctant to tell him. Maybe because I think I should have saved more for what I’ve made? Because I think I should have a bigger, rounder number? Who knows. Emotions are weird.
* I’d really like, if I ever had to replace or modify my eyesight, to have the ability to instantaneously evaluate potential parking spots and determine if they’re big enough. I hate pulling up next to a spot and calculating if I’m too big, or it’s too small and driving away disappointed.
* I miss sprouts. What’s wrong with sprouts that our cafeteria won’t carry them right now? Should I grow my own? Loved this how-to from guest poster Laura at Almost Frugal.
* Of course this is practically the most exciting thing I’ve read all day: Flexo’s post on the 2009 Federal Income Tax Brackets and Marginal Rates. I really like seeing the new tax brackets. Can’t wait to trot out new estimated taxes for my friend’s projected salary.
May 12, 2009
This is really 7 things you didn’t know about me. Different post! Abby of i pick up pennies tagged me for this meme, and since I so rarely open up to y’all *cough* I’m going along with it. Only because I have a batch of particularly weird thoughts this week.
1. I really want to train a dog to come meet me at the train station so I can walk him/her home on nice summer evenings. Walk with him or her, I guess, since a dog that well-trained wouldn’t really need a leash on the return trip. Except for the leash law thing.
2. I am surprisingly self-conscious about writing for an audience. *quirked brow* But once in a while, I turn out something that someone thinks is funny or entertaining and that’s a heady sip of writer’s champagne.
3. Growing up, I was surrounded by people who were smart, funny, weird, quirky, talented, caring, thoughtful and down to earth, or any combination thereof. Also, really mean, snarky, sarcastic, and occasionally petty as teenagers are wont to be, which means we were actually a decently well rounded set of personalities. As we were referred to as the “LA people” by my extended family, the first time I became acquainted with the stereotype that LA folks are shallow, superficial, and occasionally lacking in soul was about three years ago, and I had no idea what that looked like. Thanks to the “Housewives of … ” and other reality shows, now I do.
4. After 8 years of neighbordom, during which time I’ve always been old enough to drive, my lady neighbor still genially waves me over with a “go bounce” invitation to make use of whatever rented bounce house/castle/slide/donut they have up at the time. I’m guessing it’s her version of “hey, how ya doing?” because if she honestly thinks I’m still 13 now, I’m totally doing something wrong.
5. 5 years after graduation, I finally accept that keeping my literature books from college around will not also make me smarter or more literate. And that I’m really probably not going to read them again. Bye-bye, Ernest Hemingway, Henry James, and Chaucer. Fare thee well!
6. I was recently in the same room as former First Lady Nancy Reagan. She looks so tiny!
7. If it takes too long to dial a phone, I might forget what number I’m dialing, who I want to speak to, or why I was calling in the first place. My attention just wanders. One spectacular example of this was thankfully at a study group back in the day, “Hi, may I please speak to Sam? No, Fred! No! John? I’m sorry!”
When distracted, I forget where I am when I answer phones, too. “[insert name of former employer of 5 years ago], may I help … oh! errr … [insert name of current employer].” *sheepish*
Anyone want to tag themselves? Let me know and I’ll link back to you!
May 5, 2009
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Some of these are train-related, from back when I Twittered that the train folks were in a feisty mood. I only participated in ONE of these conversations.
“Remember that one girl who always shoved her husband’s photos in our faces? Whatever happened to her?”
“Ugh, that was obnoxious, I’m just glad it stopped.”
“Come on guys, she’s just insecure.”
muttered: “She should be!”
“Congratulations on your new house!”
“Thanks! You have crazy bedhead!”
“…… thanks!”
*burst of giggles from three people*
“That is NOT sexual harassment!”
*more giggles*
“My dad called me this morning: ‘Don’t leave your house, don’t go to work, don’t take the kids to school! Don’t do anything you don’t have to!'”
“Dad, are you going to pay my bills?”
“He says, ‘Oh. Go to work.'”
April 14, 2009
My obsessiveness with the bag has subsided (though not my love for it!)
This post is to satisfy FB‘s curiosity about the contents of my bag. I didn’t think you’d be interested, so I actually emptied it all out before taking pictures the first time around. š
My basic work pack includes a planner – yes, I’m still operating on a paper and pen basis there, a little notebook for my scribblings, a pencil case-like make-up bag from elf.com that holds a pocket mirror, lip balm and other little essentials, my wallet, the cell phone charger, tissues in the side pocket, and lotion with SPF in the other side pocket.
Much as I love technology, there’s something therapeutic about literally scribbling notes and financial calculations in a little notebook at the end of a long day in front of the computer.
Outside the bag are these little pouches, perfect for holding my Bluetooth in one, and candy in the other.
My phone and keys reside in the front side pouch which I think you’ve already seen.
Curiosity satisfied? š
Back to regularly scheduled programming soon ….
April 5, 2009
Crystal from Brunette on a Budget shared with me a bit of flattery on her blog a few days ago, naming me one of her favorite seven blogs. Aw shucks, thank you!
And courtesy of that list, I’m enjoying a listen-in to Madame Bonjour‘s playlist which features some tracks from Carla Bruni’s latest CD. I’ve never listened to French music before, it’s intriguing. I also can’t understand a word of it. š
Saturday morning I awoke to the exciting news that I’d won one of Flexo’s ten TurboTax Premier Online giveaway codes. My fingers were crossed because I wanted to provide this to a close friend, April 15th is fast approaching. Is it weird that it’s almost more exciting that I won it so I could give it to someone I care about?
April 3, 2009
My eyebrows still haven’t crept back down from my hairline after reading the positively dismal comments on FMF’s article posted over on Consumerist.com: 50% Of Americans 2 Paychecks Away From Having Big Financial Problemos
I knew that some people took exception to financial advice, but didn’t realize that there were people who took personal finance axioms so personally. At first, the comments started out fairly benignly, with understandable exasperation at uncomfortable or tight living circumstances. Been there, you know?
Saboth: I’m actually surprised that it isn’t “0 paychecks”. Most people I know barely have enough money to pay their bills currently.
edwardso:@Saboth: Sadly I am one of those people, between rent, student loans, credit card utilities I can only save about $50 per month and most of my friends (1-2 years our of college) can’t even save that.
Then people started getting agitated:
nakedscience: Seriously, ThickSkinned. People just go, “SAVE! You have to SAVE!” acting like it’s easy — but it’s not. Especially if you barely have enough money month-to-month to cover the bills as it is! This is especially true for people with kids, or for those who were doing fine, got sick, then lost their jobs or something.
Not all of it is because people are irresponsible. Some people just can’t get above water enough to save.
But at some point, it took a plunge into outright anger and labeling the presumably financially responsible as “smug bastards.” To whit:
edwardso: I can’t wait until some smug bastard gets on here and proclaims that they pay off their credit card every month and make x amount of dollars through bonuses or remind everyone of how much they would save if they canceled cable, used prepaid cell phones, etc.
jake7294: @edwardso: So true…we already have the “I pay myself first” and “when I get a raise I put the increased income in savings” comments
Yikes. Yes, everyone’s having a tough time. But after working my tushie off to overcome many major obstacles (ie: major health problems, business failures, family bankruptcy, supporting a household), it’s unsettling to see such vituperative comments skewering the fiscally aware. Actually, I think it’s gross.
That energy could be channeled towards something more productive, like, say, learning. Fine, being told “save” isn’t helpful in and of itself. But it’s a basic concept: if you want the products of saving, ie: money to spare and not living paycheck to paycheck, then you have to save. Unless there’s a whole other world that allows reaping the benefits of saving without actually doing it. I sure don’t live there. I’d love to! I had to sweat through endless trials to create a situation where I could save and pay my bills on time. And don’t think I don’t understand catastrophic situations while trying to build a career. Flip through the archives. That doesn’t even include the years I spent putting myself through school and food on the table. It’s been 9 years of working since high school, 17 if you count the years of unpaid labor at my parents’ business, and many more to go.
There is a way. Do not dismiss those of us who made savings, and paying bills on time, and not carrying a credit card balance a priority in our lives. Maybe there are a few who were born with silver spoons in their mouths, but by and large, it’s work, dammit. It’s sacrifice, and making choices, and being mindful, and exercising willpower. It is NOT easy to reach the point where we get to be referred to as “smug bastards” for paying ourselves first. And those with silver spoons? Still don’t deserve to be called bastards.
FB makes a wonderful point in her recent post Forget Earth Hour? about taking control of your money, and the predominant attitude of those who rely on denigrating others and complaining about their less-than-legitimately “poor” circumstances:
Not only that, I find it strange to be proud of being cash-poor, broke, overdrawn, maxed out and generally penniless working paycheque to paycheque.
Maybe it’s just a mechanism for people to nervously deal with what they know is a hot financial mess.
The principle of saving, and the people who point it out or live it, is not the problem here. The problem lies in a situation you’re not happy with. That cries out for a solution. Ask questions, ask for help and be willing to figure what part of that help is applicable if you want an answer. But don’t put us down because all you see is the end result of countless hours of toil.
There are as many ways to find help as there are to save. Heck, I’m sure if you were open to any of the PF bloggers so forcibly disdained, some of them might even have some useful information. If you ask.
