About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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October 18, 2019
***FYI: I will be collecting donations for our Lakota families until Nov 17th. Details in the Giving paragraph. Half of any proceeds from the blog during this time (see sidebar) will also be added to those donations.***
This is my weekly list of things that were good this week, even if they weren’t all unadulteratedly good things. Please share your good things in the comments!
1. My new reading glasses arrived! We even had the frames adjusted for comfort so they curve behind the ears. I’ve never had an optician advise me on this particular thing you do to make glasses comfortable so I’m very excited for the unprecedented level of comfort and for the (I hope) elimination of constant headaches now that my prescription has been adjusted. Fingers crossed!
2. We committed to another stage of a series of health surveys and clinical visit for a study that I felt was worthwhile to sign up for 5 years ago. It’s a study to help kids. This stage is time intensive (estimated 6-7 hours) and so they’re compensating us with $200 in gift cards. Our first $100 gift card was issued this week, the other will come in a few weeks after we finish the last set of information. It’s not an easy way to make $200 but that money will really help since it was something that I wanted to do.
3. We’ve received amazing contributions for our Lakota families. I’m REALLY excited that we’ll be able to send some good packages. There are so many families on the list and I’m
4. Sigh. So. On the plus side, we got approved to use the Earthquake Brace and Bolt program. We applied a year ago and funding was finally approved. The minus side is that when I inquired about the retrofit discount with our insurance agent, it turns out that our earthquake and homeowners’ insurance was artificially low because somehow they got the wrong foundation information and I missed that. Our homeowners premium is going up 30%, and the CEA premium is going up 70%. With the discount, after we complete the work, it’ll “only” go up 30%. We really have to get that work done!
I know that the plus side of this is that it’s better we find out now that we’re underinsured when we can do something about it than after a disaster when we wouldn’t have get enough money to cover all the repairs. But it’s a painful plus. I’m crossing my fingers for good bids from the EBB contractors and that one of them will do the work really well, or that our private contractor can beat their price even with the FEMA funding in which case I don’t have to worry at all about quality. I suppose another weak positive is I can pick up another churning credit card with the policy increases, but that will require some time to strategize and I have none to spare.
I do solidly appreciate that when I did the initial research, I decided that I didn’t want to deal with the contractors directly (I have too many things on my plate right now) and handed that portion over to PiC with a deadline. He called, talked to them, set up appointments and met with them without a single reminder from me because he’s awesome like that.
:: How was your week?
October 17, 2019
***FYI: I will be collecting donations for our Lakota families until Nov 17th. Details in the Giving paragraph. Half of any proceeds from the blog during this time (see sidebar) will also be added to those donations.***
As I work on our Lakota family needs lists, I reflect on how incredibly lucky and filthy rich we are, with the Bitches: “I’ve been dancing around a point, but here it is: listening to rich people refer to themselves as “middle class” makes my skin crawl.”
Imagine the depths of the grief and trauma of the black community as these murders by law enforcement keep happening. This needs to stop. It needs to not be ok.
Three more small things to be more green from Tortoise Happy.
I’m not sure of all the ins and outs of this arrangement but it LOOKS like the Healthcare Anchor Network is a good thing. I hope it is.
I adore seeing people’s experiences with palaces in the sky (at least for people I like anyway).
Pay inequality is still a thing. This is why I negotiate hard, knowing that I’ll be penalized for negotiating too, but knowing that at least I show my worth many times over so I should at least negotiate for as much as I can even while a white male doing the job I’m doing would automatically be paid much more without having to ask for it.
How did your parents embarrass you? I assume mine did but I can’t remember any embarrassed by parents stories from childhood.
I had no idea this is why Sesame Street revealed Mr. Snuffleupagus. I also didn’t know that the show viewed Big Bird as the ostensible stand in for the child audience.
“The Two Questions’ came from trying to write something good and not getting very far because I had forgotten that trying to write something good before I write anything at all is like refusing to give birth unless you know for sure it is going to be a very good baby.” I laugh because it me in more ways than one.
Making friends as adults. I do envy little kids and their ability to make friends easily now that I’ve witnessed it in JB. I was as hermitlike as you could get at 4 years old and hated the idea of people. I didn’t so much make friends as have some happen to me. I still miss that first friend I ever made on my own in third grade – it took that long – and we remained fast friends even though were in totally different circles by high school. Now only eight years into my life in the Bay Area, I’m finally making the effort to make friends and it’s still every bit as difficult now for me as it was for child me. Ugh.
Move along, rams!
https://twitter.com/WSheepdog/status/1177627435988328450
October 14, 2019
***FYI: I will be collecting donations for our Lakota families until Nov 17th. Details in the Giving paragraph. Half of any proceeds from the blog during this time (see sidebar) will also be added to those donations.***
Summer! June 21st through September 23 2019
What I read
This reading summer started off strong with some fantastic writers:
Samantha Shannon
The Priory of the Orange Tree
Rebecca Roanhorse
Storm of Locusts
I can barely handle apocalyptic fiction these days since it feels too much like real life but Rebecca’s books are just too good to skip until this mess is over. There are gods and the world we made for ourselves, and really, you just have to read it.
Seanan McGuire
That ain’t Witchcraft
I adore this entire series and would like many more stories of the Price family. Many many many, please.
Michelle Obama
Becoming
I could have screenshotted the entire biography to text to PiC with my thoughts … I refrained when I realized that it would not end. (more…)
October 11, 2019
***FYI: I will be collecting donations for our Lakota families until Nov 17th. Details in the Giving paragraph. Half of any proceeds from the blog during this time (see sidebar) will also be added to those donations.***
This is my weekly list of things that were good this week, even if they weren’t all unadulteratedly good things. Please share your good things in the comments!
1. I redeemed my Bing points for a Target gift card: $25. I keep stalling, mostly because I like seeing large point totals, and a little bit because I worried that I’d just spend the gift card money on regular household needs instead of saving it for my robot vacuum. I’ll try to behave.
2. Dear friend gifted me a beautiful rice filled heat pack which has been such a boon for my sore neck and back. Since I can only hand sew, and rarely do I have time or does my body not hurt too much to do it long enough to make such a pack, this was the best gift.
3. We all got our flu shots and planned for it to hit us reasonably hard. It was a good thing. We spent the remaining part of the afternoon on the sofa with a movie while PiC cooked dinner, and then JB and I all headed to bed by 7 pm. I wasn’t planning to stay in bed after reading to zir but was out like a light and got the longest night of uninterrupted sleep in recent memory.
4. Speaking of valuing local things, we completed my quest to find a local independent bookstore to shop from! I won’t always be able to patronize them because I still have my physical limitations that knock me down for days at a time if I don’t respect them but I’m glad to have a place to go when I’m able and we’ll give them as much of our business as possible. We’re choosing to spend a little more to help keep a valuable shop in business.
We enjoyed their small kid section which had some toys for kids at kid sized tables and chairs and the owner was nice enough to not mind our hanging about for hours. We bought a pile of new and used books as gifts and requested a special order of a few more book for gifts. I also learned from the store owner that they had to pay to show up on indie.org and that’s why I couldn’t find them on there before.
5. I decided to satisfice my new glasses. After having done some research online at Zenni where it would have cost me $52.11 after a coupon for the exact same pair that I got last year, I went to Costco to price out a comparison pair. Costco is an out of network shop, but VSP will cover $80 frames and part of the lens cost. This is my first pair in two years, third pair in 15 years, so I decided that instead of spending another precious afternoon seeking out an in network provider, I decided that a $60 set of frames and $57 for the lens and copay were manageable. I take good care of my glasses and don’t replace them until I absolutely have to, but I’ve also been having migraines for 3 months so having the process started now makes more sense than suffering for another month or two while I vet another provider and eventually finally find the time to go to their office. I still have twinges of not having sought out a way to get the glasses for just the $25 copay but I’m going to have to be ok with this.
6. Ally announced they are offering commission-free trading on all U.S. exchange-listed stock, ETF, and option trades. Yay! I don’t buy or sell often but I like free.
:: Why does 57 degrees in the Fall feel absolutely frigid whereas the same temperature in spring and summer months is just chilly? How was your week?
October 10, 2019
***FYI: I will be collecting donations for our Lakota families until Nov 17th. Details in the Giving paragraph. Half of any proceeds from the blog during this time (see sidebar) will also be added to those donations.***
How society really works after disasters
I keep repeating this to myself: stop buying stuff! Why do I still keep getting these urges to buy cute or beautiful things?
I’m usually very thoughtful about big decisions like adding a pet to our family but even after being so thoughtful, I have regretted getting a pet.
Angela and not being perfect: “If everyone focused on doing things better – let’s say, eighty percent better – the world would look completely different.” I know that when I try to make all my actions environmentally sound, I get stuck in paralysis because there are no perfect actions. But if I can aim to make most of my actions green in a significant way, then I have to forgive myself for the other “fails”.
The crappiness of “parental leave” (hahahahaha) in the US. Our parental leave in the US is so crap. Near five years later, I’m STILL angry that my raise was less than agreed (and that I hadn’t gotten it in writing that ONE TIME) because we found out I was pregnant before the raise went into effect. It’s definitely affected my trust of my employer.
I’ve been fighting the instinctive toxic positivity in myself because I hate receiving it from others but also I note that it’s hard to gauge sometimes what’s needed because a lot of my conversations are over text / email and not in person. Better responses I’m working on: “I’m here for you.” / “That sounds really hard.” / “How did that make you feel?” or “How do you feel about that?”
I’ve spent 11 years in 3 different jobs before this one, including my college years because I worked more than full time those 4 years, but staying so long at this one (more than my usual 4-5 years) makes me wonder if I’m making a big mistake like Ali’s here: For 12 years I refused to talk to recruiters and never applied for a position with another firm. I regularly review the reasons it still makes sense to stay here that aren’t “because I’m too lazy to find another job” because the monetary benefits are fairly modest. It’s all about the day to day autonomy and flexibility but at some point it’s also got to be about the money. I think we’re still committed to this particular balance but if PiC has to leave his incredibly good benefits job, I may have to sacrifice the flexibility of this job to make more money. OR maybe I can have all: more money and all the flexibility?? Maybe. We’ll see.
Life In The Cupboard Under The Stairs: on living with the smallness of a chronically ill life. Most days, this is just normal and I accept it. But this feeing of smallness, of tightness, is renewed. I discovered a fantastic band I’d love to go see and they’re in Oakland this winter. Tickets are under $35. But it’s on a weeknight. How could I possibly scrape up the energy after a workday to be out and then also work again the next day? I still have dogs to be walked and child to be looked after. PiC volunteered to cover both (as a sitter for the required amount of time would be $100 minimum) but I still am unlikely to have the energy to cope with the bookends of work AND having to stay up late. Heck, I’m unlikely to be able to be out that late without consequences even if I didn’t have work, even if I didn’t have to expend energy to drive all the way to Oakland and back. So life gets a little smaller and I try to pretend I didn’t want to go anyway to ignore that new little spike of disappointment in my side that’s grown, trusting that it too will fade away, replaced with new cuts in time.
BOING
October 7, 2019
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from an investment property and investing in dividend stocks. That money is saved for future repairs and reinvested, respectively. We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. Our side income comes from Swagbucks and cash back sites (Ebates, Mr. Rebates). Some posts have affiliate links that pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running and I’ve added a way to support the blog in the sidebar to the right!
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income by the time my health prevents me from working.
***
Dividend income. We received $313 in dividends this month. Our year to date net dividends are $2,879.40.
Bank bonuses. HSBC finally paid up! I’m so glad to be done with them. They are the absolute worst.
ALSO our long awaited tax refund also finally arrived! Woo! I promptly deposited it into our anemic account meant for paying the property taxes – it’s way behind the mark it should have hit in order to pay it in full on time.
(more…)
October 4, 2019
This is my weekly list of things that were good this week, even if they weren’t all unadulteratedly good things. Please share your good things in the comments!
1. Our neighbors were in a horrific car accident last week, we’re so grateful that they’re all ok. I’ve known so many people who got into terrible wrecks, and we’ve buried a few of them, that it gives me a touch of anxiety every time JB and PiC go off together.
2. My eye exam put me out of commission all day. The doctor warned me that it was possible I’d lose 4 hours after the dilation but I didn’t think it’d be quite as bad as it was. Normally I really can’t afford that kind of time off with my workload, the past 14 months have been awful, but I caught a small break this week in that my urgent stuff was done before that appointment. Small favors.
3. We had a fabulous, though short, visit with a dear friend who happily embarked on culinary adventures with me. I’m so proud of myself for working on seasoning this dish well enough that the flavors were complex and not the one note that only salt, pepper, and chicken broth were initially bringing to the table. The adults approved and JB came back for seconds, then thirds after dessert. The biggest compliment!
4. I finally found time to read a novel from a fellow blogger: Family Trust by Kathy Wang. I’m still marinating thoughts because there was so much there.
5. Who’s got two thumbs and is super jazzed that Target’s Market Pantry brand green beans are regularly 55 cents a can, beating Costco’s 61 cents a can? THIS LADY. Seamus has been giving me the business for not having his expected veggies in his dinner. Costco, our main supplier, has been out for ages! I made do with extra carrots and sweet potatoes but the green beans are the cheapest and lowest cal supplement (34 cals per cup, vs 62 cals for carrots and 180 cals for sweet potatoes). We need low cal and filling to keep this old guy lean, it’s easier on his arthritis.
Bonus, I can pay for it with gift cards so those Bing rewards are feeling extra special. WOO. Now I need a sale of some sort to apply to their already cheap regular price. You’d think it was ridiculous to be thinking about saving 6 cents a can, and yes that’s just $21.60 a year, BUT with a recurring quarterly bill of $400-450 for just two of his FIVE DAILY medications, I have to look for every penny of savings that I can find.
6. If JB wants a Halloween costume, that has to be settled NOW. Ze finally picked a costume and while we couldn’t get it as a hand me down from anyone, Target had the costumes. The popular color was selling for $35 and a less canon color for $20. Since I’m not about to pay $35 for a single use item, and the cheaper one was one of zir top favorite colors anyway, that’s the one we were getting. But I made myself wait. There’s a fine balance between getting everything done early and not paying full price for non essentials and that’s the only highwire act you’ll see me engage in! Two days later, voila! 30% off Halloween costumes! Brought that sucker down to $14 with free delivery when combined with the canned green beans goldstrike. Now ze needs to love the costume and wear it at least twice.
7. Every year, my birthday present to myself is giving the library a check to buy a diverse list of authors I want to read, in e-books. This means I get to enjoy them and other people can too. I sneak back to check back on the status of those books and am elated when I find they’re waitlisted. That means people are reading them! And I hope enjoying them. I’m starting my wish list for next year now: Rena Barron’s Kingdom of Souls trilogy.
8. Earnings from MyPoints have been incredibly slow in the past two years so I’m happy to finally have enough points to redeem for a $10 Amazon gift card.
:: You know the hard thing about emotions and chronic pain? As much as I can look back and say I had lots of little bright spots in this week, it was still really hard to feel happy because every single day has included hours of flare-up pain. How was your week?