About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
* We bought a new furnace and ductwork and for my pains, we got higher bills. We’re using the furnace now that it works, and it actually warms the house. FANCY THAT. It’s expensive but for the same price as when we first moved in and didn’t get any heat in half the house at all, we have a warm house for an hour or two in the morning and when guests come to stay.
** Museum membership: once JB is over the age of free (3), and because we’ve been enjoying the Cal Academy as a family regularly this year, we will need to upgrade from our Individual Plus membership ($149) to the next grade up: Family for $249. Increase: $100/year. We are going to check for any employer discounts though.
Total increase: $1380.
With the exception of the furnace, we’ll be paying $1380 more this year for exactly the same services that we were getting last year. Awesome.
Though we did get cost of living increases in salary this year, after taxes, it’s not much so I still feel pressure to earn more and cut costs elsewhere to ensure we keep pace with our savings and giving goals.
A minor regret: I should have taken up that Sprint free year offer that was kicking around for a long time. I was being cautious and didn’t because I wasn’t sure about Sprint service quality so I missed the boat on that. Darn. I have a Mint Mobile offer on my desk but I’m hesitant to go to a relatively unknown experience. I know friends with GoogleFi, Republic Wireless and Ting but none of their plans would save us a real chunk of money given my data needs.
:: What do your cost of living expense increases look like this year? Where are you saving a good amount?
1. Friday: I finally grew a brain. Instead of getting up super early (for me), then being frustrated that I couldn’t wake JB up for 20-30 minutes because ze still needs more sleep, I just went straight to work and got a bunch of critical stuff off my plate. Then I went to tackle the sleeping dragon.
3. Saturday: We didn’t plan on it but we had the afternoon free to support PiC at a memorial event that went twice as long as we expected. JB was in good spirits and we had just enough supplies to keep zir fed and occupied, luckily. Physically, I was thrashed afterward for days, but it was an important thing for us to have done together.
4. Sunday: Working on the weekend is not a fun thing but I was glad to get through a few hours of work this morning so I could spend the afternoon doing fun things without stressing over the bad Monday to come.
6. Monday: Sunday’s work made SUCH a difference to my work day. I don’t want to always require weekend work but I will build on this momentum. Also I’m proud that I’ve consistently checked on Friend 1 (a dear friend going through some really tough life stuff right now) consistently every week this year.
7. Tuesday: The past 10 weeks have been ultra-stressful for work reasons but also for personal reasons. A friend’s wife has been an absolute snake to us, actively stirring the pot and having tantrums worthy of 45. Because we’re unable to cut her out of our lives for a specific period of time, due to prior commitments that are bigger than us, we’ve been dealing with her shenanigans for the short term. I realized this week that it was really getting to me, priming my brain for drama every day, so I actively decided today that it doesn’t matter what she thinks or wants or has a hissy over, she simply does not exist today. Or tomorrow. Or the rest of this week. Even after another bout with insomnia last night, I can feel that decision actively reducing my stress.
9. Wednesday: I slept well enough to wake up early all on my own this morning! If I can keep this up through next winter, we can skip forking over a great deal of money for the daylight alarm clock I was considering. Come to think, this might actually be related to some spring/summer weather? If so, I may just be putting off the inevitable for another year but that’s fine.
10. Thursday: I got SO MANY things done today but most importantly, I actually had an appetite for the first time in three weeks.
Done by Forty: “In poker terms, the meritocracy argument is an example of resulting: of judging the quality of our decisions based on the results of those decisions. If you get a good result, you made a good decision. If you get a bad result, you made a bad decision.
Except that life doesn’t work out that way.”
Just when I thought the credit reporting bureaus couldn’t be grosser, it turns out they’ve got this going on: “Equifax has marketing material pitching employment status to debt collectors who want an early nod that someone is no longer employed.”
Earthquake liquefaction zones are why I don’t put much faith in Bay Area property values. Won’t mean much if our home falls into an earthquake created abyss.
You Could Have Today. Instead You Choose Tomorrow: It’s a hugeprivilege to be able to choose this life this way. I worked my nalgas off to get to choose like this and even then a huge degree of luck came into play to make that happen.
I have been thanked for my work as a manager in the past but those were both quite unexpected and very unsolicited thanks. I have always said that it’s a totally thankless task, particularly if you’re doing it right (advocating for your people, supporting them without micromanaging, rewarding them as appropriate for their situations and needs). Frankly, I do it for the management money, not thanks. I can’t imagine going into it seeking that kind of validation from my employees. Generally it’s not going to happen.
I don’t know which kid came up with this brainstorm but JB has been a huge fan of mixing up socks. I’m guessing this would bother some parents but I’m looking at the bright side – no need to bother matching up socks on laundry day, other than making sure that all pairs are complete.
Morning routines and bribery
There has been discontent in my heart having to shepherd JB from one morning task to the next. It’s the same dang thing every morning, why was it taking an HOUR to chivvy and scold zir from brushing teeth to using the toilet to getting dressed to breakfast and finally getting jacket, socks, and shoes on??
Ze has no problem getting these things done when motivated but ze is totally not motivated on school days. Sigh.
I’ve started adjusting some of my approach. Sometimes supportive, sometimes challenging, trying to take cues from the mood of the moody-sleepy child, and it’s slowly starting to be less frustrating.
Practice patience
We’ve been having some trouble with patience all around. PiC and JB, normally best buds, have been at loggerheads almost every day and we’ve had to have some venting sessions. I think we realize we’re both feeling the effects of our work stress, which uses up our limited willpower, and facing off with a contrary and sometimes melting down four year old is just not happening.
Between my weekly Good Things posts and being much more mindful of work stress spilling over into general irritability, I’ve been able to back down that feeling away from the edge. (more…)
1. Friday: JB had gotten up incredibly early this morning which was good but it meant ze was low on patience and energy by the time ze got home and threw an incredible tantrum when I expected zir to follow up on our agreement: New puzzle if ze finished all zir evening chores. I had to hold very firm because ze escalated into unacceptable behavior (screaming and throwing things). I didn’t lose my head or my temper while dealing with it, thankfully.
2. Saturday: We had to take my clothes to the tailor but my reliable place had been purchased by a new person. I was a little worried – I’d never used him before and his prices were really high. But he was very kind to JB, entertaining zir a bit even though PiC was there to mind zir, and even giving zir a gigantic chocolate bar when we returned later that day to pick up the clothes. He’d changed their business model to a same day only model, which was weird, but also kind of nice to knock out that chore in one day. Exhausting but nice. Now I have 3 nice articles of clothing that I can wear a lot.
3. Sunday: JB is really feeling crafty this weekend so we spent the whole morning working on sticking our Safeway Monopoly game tokens to a board and redeeming the online entries (we won a coffee and a Refreshe drink) and sticking stickers to things.
5. Sunday: To start bringing down that CPW on my nice clothes, I swished my way around the Cal
Academy in my newly tailored beautiful floor length with half sleeves and pockets maxi dress from Elhoffer Design.
Bonus, I found a new use for my two little cardigans that I was going to sell – the grey and green sweaters work perfectly over this dress when I need a little more warmth.
I’d forgotten how nice it is to have nice clothing that also fits well! It was a luxury I let go when I stopped working in places that required me to look professional.
6. Monday: The IRS withdrew our money (which wouldn’t be a good thing generally but I got nervous about mailing our payment as a check. I should have just paid online!). California paid our refund and the stinkin’ HOA FINALLY reversed their erroneous charges ($300)! That “only” took 3 months of constant emails.
7. Tuesday: On my mission to find some important paperwork, I ended up decluttering a nice batch of old crappy photos. Win some, lose some. (I didn’t find the paperwork.)
8. Wednesday: One batch of chickpeas burnt so badly they went straight into the compost, the other batch was pretty good. Neutral? Then I concentrated on really putting together dinner instead of distractedly doing ten things at the same time and it became rather beautiful.
9. Thursday: I woke up really early, earlier than intended even, and it wasn’t painful. I didn’t love it but I needed to be up early and it was nice not to have to force myself out of bed.
:: How was your week? What were some good things that happened?
I can’t stop thinking about how vulnerable this young lady and others in her situation are.
OFG fixed her dryer! I have a problem with our dryer I haven’t had the nerve to tackle but maybe I will after a lot of research.
Wise NFL player: “I need to be maximizing every single day I have in the NFL because I don’t know when this NFL platform will be swept right under my feet.”
Simplistic Steph nailed my current unease with our FIRE projections. To (maybe) hit our ideal early retirement number “on time” relies on a projected savings and investing plan that: “Our numbers are assuming we never have kids, a drop in salary, or any major life event. Basically, our numbers are best-case-scenario, dreamland numbers.”
I’ve never been comfortable with planning based on best-case scenarios because that is just not how grown up life has ever worked for me.
Thasunda Brown Duckett of Chase: “Last week I came to work mad because my son was called the N-word at school. I told my team, told my peers, told the other C.E.O.s. We killed a whole hourlong meeting and we just talked about race. I said, “I’m an angry black woman today. I am mad that I have to have conversations that you don’t have to have. I am tired.”
I bring that to work. It’s who I am. I just bring the best version of Thasunda, all of me, to the table, because I want everyone else to do the same. And when you lead with authenticity, when you can share your vulnerable moments, it opens up everyone else to share their real life, too.”
I’m starting to try to be more authentic me and less Professional Me with All Shields Up and I admire people who come to that naturally. I’ve edited myself for over a decade, hiding my chronic illness side because I don’t want to show weakness, hiding my love of personal finance so I come across as a normal superstar-level person wanting a legitimately earned raise without a side of “because I need/want to have the option to retire early”. I don’t want those aspects of me to dominate who I am at work and color the approvals of raises.
When we brought Sera home last year, I ran the numbers on what having two pets was costing us. It didn’t seem excessive but it’s also not cheap! A friend asked me for help with budgeting for a pet so I thought it’d be good to dust off my records and figure out what we’re paying now.
SEAMUS – April 2018
Daily costs:
$1.71, dog food. ($72 for 6 weeks of food)
$0.50, carrots,
$0.70 of sardines,
$3.30, bully stick,
$0.24, routine prescription meds,
$0.24, vitamins,
$0.40, glucosamine
$0.06, Benadryl
$7.15 a day, or $2609.75 annually.
$12/bath, 6 times a year, $72 annually.
Budgeted $1200 annually for veterinary care. Total expected costs: $3881.75
SERA – April 2018
$1.71, dog food.
$0.70 of sardines,
$3.30, bully stick,
$0.24, vitamins
$5.95 a day, or $2171.75 annually.
$12/bath, 6 times a year, $72 annually.
Also budgeted: $800/year for veterinary care. Total expected costs: $3043.75
I covered our paycheck deduction increases in January’s snapshot:
