About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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April 5, 2019
1. Friday: It was such a tough week and I survived!!!! It was touch and go for a while.
2. Saturday: Finally dabbled a little bit in our maths to find our a possible retirement age. Not far enough along to be anywhere yet but I touched it! I’ve put this off for three years.
3. Saturday: I watched three kids alone for a while and cooked. Everyone was alive and the food was good.
4. Sunday: Gorgeous clear skies and a warm 🌞 day.
5. Monday: I couldn’t find anything good on this day except the knowledge I have a long overdue massage scheduled this week. Focusing on that.
6. Tuesday: Oops. Saturday’s dabbling made me stand on the edge of our money universe and become totally overwhelmed by all the work we have left to do and the longing to be done. My money anxiety hit an all time high because of it. Reading Kristine and Tanja really helped me reset my perspective and mode of thinking to a calmer one. Now I know why I kept ignoring setting an FI number.
7. Wednesday: It’s been a monumental struggle for months to wake up before 7 am despite alarms starting at 6:30. A combination of sleep deprivation due to painsomnia and regular insomnia, and sleep aids not aiding, meant we were always starting our mornings behind the eight ball every single day. Talk about starting up stressed.
Today was the second day I managed to go to sleep early enough the night before and sleep through most of the night with only two nightmare calls from JB and get out of bed a shade before 7. I call that victory.
8. Wednesday: Lots of small and big pieces fell into place. Despite a packed day and not getting nearly enough work done, I resolved to get JB home early and I did. Since we had plenty of dinner leftovers from Tuesday, dinner was on the table before 7. We got JB in bed by 8. Small victories, huge effects, much relished.
9. Thursday: Another really tough work day but I managed to get through a larger portion of my backlog than expected. Huzzah!
:: How was your week? What were some good things that happened?
April 4, 2019
I really enjoyed this interview with Abigail Disney. Her views and understanding about money are interesting and I imagine not that common among the very rich. I often wonder what the most effective ways to responsibly deploy that kind of money and do the most good to people least likely to get the help they need.
Who is the best you?
Being consistently grateful instead of grumpy because work is so heavy I’m sinking miserably under the weight continues to be difficult. Since spreadsheets and mony goals make me happy, I thought it was time to focus on our FIRE goals as a distraction. Boy, was I wrong. This has only served to make me an even more ungrateful frog because we’re deep in our middle years without a true end in sight. I’ve had to reread and mentally review all the things I’m doing wrong that Tanja reminds us not to do: checking account balances frequently, focusing entirely on the end goal and ignoring the incremental wins because they seem insignificant, trying to optimize every penny (well, I’d do this anyway). So I remind myself via Tanja: “Or, in more concrete financial terms, celebrate when you hit round numbers, when you pay off even small amounts of debt and when you pass psychologically significant waypoints. Doing that keeps you focused on how much you’re accomplishing instead of how far you have to go, and that mindset difference is enormous.”
It’s true. I need to go back to being happy about my small and insignificant in comparison to the large goals wins because they are each meaningful and will add up, and most importantly, focusing on them will make me happier about the process than staring at account balances that just. aren’t. moving.
April 3, 2019
We’re developing a steady rhythm of moving things out of the house even as we add things that we need and use. I’m looking at a steady state that should trend lower over time.
This almost cleansing ritual is at odds with my borderline hoarder nature that wants, nay craves, the security of having everything I might need ready to hand. I hate having to buy things when they’re not on sale. But the purging is necessary.
Without this outflow, I’d feel stifled and overwhelmed by STUFF. I hate that feeling. I want to have stuff, I don’t want it to have me. I want to have our own purely practical Warehouse 13, but not live in it. I’m not sure that compromise is possible but nevertheless, I persevere.
Less stuff, more stuff, just the right amount of stuff: a lesson in mindfulness
Some things have to be pruned daily or they multiply LIKE TRIBBLES:
- Junk mail
- ALL of JB’s art which is sometimes represented by scribbles on 39284829 sheets of paper, a wad of paper taped up 17 different ways, or a stack of papers stapled together. If the latter, I secretly unstaple them and stash them in a bin of art supplies so ze can reuse the other side.
- Anything that’s been in the trunk of the car for five years but hasn’t been used (except the emergency gear).
We bid farewell to:
- A broken coffeemaker that’s been taking up room in the garage – with grateful thanks to our local disposal company
- 6 of 12 pairs of trouser socks. Haven’t worn them in 6 years, probably safe to assume I won’t in the next 6.
- We rarely get takeout for a lot of reasons but I especially like to see how long we can go without adding to our plastic takeout containers stash – we are down to an all time low of only 4 sets! They were used mercilessly, then sent home with potluck dinner guests filled with delicious leftovers.
- We use our clothes the same way we duel: to the death! Often, the things we’re ready to give up aren’t in any shape to be sold or donated. Any clothes still in good condition go into my Sale Bin in hopes of finding them a good home. About 15 lbs of clothes have languished in there for a year, it was time for them to move on.
Areas of concern
- We definitely have enough tote bags but I struggle heartily with not adding more to our collection. I can resist a great tote bag about as well as I resist street tacos. (Hardly ever and with bad grace.) I love the feel of sturdy canvas, the clever art, the easy breezy “shovel all the gear into the tote and go”-ness of a great oversized tote. The non-preciousness wherein you can sling it any old where, because it’s sturdy canvas, so no worries about scuffing. I resonate with a great tote bag.
With all this going on, it seems counter-intuitive to be adding things to the home, doesn’t it? But we have and it’s eased our day to day lives too. We’ve added:
- A good quality garden shovel.
- A pair of tough gardening gloves that actually fit my hands. Begone, ye thorns!
- An extra set of sheets – I don’t have to strip the beds, do all the wash, and remake the beds all in one marathon day! I can rotate our extra set in and take my time. It’s amazing.
- Three bowls and platters for dinner service. We’ve squished many a dinner into 2 solitary 1-quart casserole dishes for quite a lot of guests. It’s ok to make serving up meals a little easier. This is also a sideways investment in social capital. We are starting new traditions in the area with local friends, trying to build community, and one of them is having select groups of people over for dinner. By “tradition” I mean, we’ve done this once before and by golly we will try again. We might even host as many as TWO dinners this year! But even if we don’t, we have house guests every month so these items won’t be mothballed during the year.
- That new Pyrex set – I’m over the moon about it! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and like an adult. We’ve had a longstanding need for more containers with lids that can serve many purposes, and these are just the ticket: oven safe, freezer safe, microwave safe, dishwasher safe. Now that my hands are less painful, I can actually use the heavy duty Pyrex instead of relying on flimsy plastic containers that aren’t oven safe and having to dirty an extra dish. I actually picked up two sets and I serve our dinners in them so that after meal cleanup is as simple as popping a lid on. It’s fabulous.
PiC continues to be our Craigslist selling whiz as well as the secondhand gear guy. I buy new but search every nook and cranny for bargains, sales, and savings. We try to be extra conscious of not resorting to the reflex to buy something to fill a need until we’ve considered all possible alternatives first.
:: What have you been buying, selling, keeping, or getting rid of? Are you happy with the amount of stuff in your home?
If you sign up for Swagbucks using my link this month and earn 300 total SB before May 1st, 2019, you get a 300 SB bonus.
It’s worth it if you have a few minutes a day to earn some SBs. Your first gift card each month is discounted, too. I usually redeem my monthly $25 gift card for Target or Amazon and it costs 2200 SB instead of 2500 SB.
Here’s a handy tutorial if you’d like to join Swagbucks and earn. I track my earnings here.
April 1, 2019
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We earn money on the side, including tiny cash flow we don’t touch from an investment property and investing in dividend stocks.
Our side income comes from Swagbucks, rare sales on Poshmark, cash back sites (Ebates, Mr.Rebates), and tracking physical activity through Achievement (my introduction to it). Some posts have affiliate links that pay a tiny commission to keep the blog running.
The long term goal is to replace our day job income in case my health prevents me from working.
***
Dividend income. We received $268 in dividends this month. Our year to date net dividends are $929.44. I currently reinvest all our dividends.
Book sales. Nothing like last month’s $45 but this month we had $15.83 come in from TextbookRush and another $7.60. They were pretty slow to actually process payment but they came through in the end. Anyone who says that you can just sell stuff in case you lose your source of income has a lot more sellable stuff than we do.
Going paperless. FINALLY Chase offered me $5 to go paperless with our checking account. Honestly I’d thought we were paperless already but I prefer to get paid for these things. 🙂 Sent that $5 directly to savings.
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March 29, 2019
With the return of the grey skies and drizzle, the depressive nibbles are back. Positive thinking has been good for me but it may not be enough to hold back that tide. I’m not feeling pulled under yet but I can feel myself hovering around the edges a bit so I’m being extra mindful.
1. Friday: Though so much of my body was hurting that it seemed pointless to apply heat patches to any single area to ameliorate the aches, I was able to fall asleep in under an hour. That never happens!
2. Saturday: We had a downright gorgeous day for our free event of the day: Holi! Hundreds of people descended on a nearby town for the Holi celebration and it was tons of fun. I’m nearly broken from it physically but my face hurts from smiling and the kids had so much fun they were tired enough to go home without protest after.
3. Saturday: I’m extra proud of our provisioning. I usually fail to bring something essential but this time we only ran short of water because JB spilled my water bottle. We had: sandwich quarters, ham, cheese and veggie rolls, cut veggies, nuts and cheese, goldfish crackers, string cheese, apple juice pouches, and Cuties. The three kids and two adults ate EVERYTHING. I think we did have a few little leftovers but it was minimal. I don’t have a lot of aspirations in life for how other people view me but being the parents / people who are adequately prepared with provisions on excursions like this is one of them. It makes me feel so rich even though it’s actually being frugal to pack enough food instead of standing in line for food truck food. We probably spent as much on the basic foodstuff as we would if we bought two big lunch plates BUT we also had a lot of extra snacks that meant we had a much more fun several hours than we would have if we’d hit 3 pm with hungry tired kids and no provisions.
4. Sunday: We hosted a long overdue set of friends for dinner. It took all my everything to prepare for the evening, and PiC did a completely fair share of the heavy lifting on all the side dishes and entertaining JB during the mandatory Mom-break periods when I literally could not move any longer.
5. Sunday: JB and I seem to be getting into a decent pattern of having Sunday mornings together. I’ve never dreaded them, I’ve tried to view them as bonding opportunities, but haven’t always been good at making it play out that way. We’re doing some cooking together, followed up by playing and art time, and spend a little bit of time on language skills. I managed not to run out of patience more than twice the entire morning and I’m proud about that.
6. Monday: This weekend was a massive case of overextension. So many regrets. Not for all the things we did but definitely for how badly I timed them to be in the same weekend. So much pain and fatigue. But the fatigue slowed me down enough to realize I should reschedule all our recurring transfers for savings so we aren’t inadvertently overdrawn again just because of bad timing.
7. Tuesday: I AM VICTORIOUS. I have been fighting with the rental prop’s HOA for 3 months and they’ve ignored my very polite and reasonable requests that they do their job. I finally escalated to their Regional Manager. In less than an hour, I got my answer. I’m still reporting the local office for intransigence.
8. Tuesday: Had a friend drop in for a very quick visit on her way home, it was so nice! Physically I still felt terrible but it was a nice uplift to my mood and the timing was perfect for my weird (right now) work schedule.
9. Wednesday: Hot damn. I had to wake JB up to get zir ready for school and for once, we didn’t have a single tantrum from wake up to departure. Minor miracle.
:: What were your good things this week?
March 28, 2019
No pasa nada. I’d like more relaxation but I’m not sure I could go this far.
A thread on airline creeps. Why are men so gross? Asking for dirty pictures of a kid??
Do you share your thoughts on money? I do and I don’t. I share my philosophies and strategies on bargain hunting and negotiation but I don’t share my overall philosophy on early retirement with anyone. At most with three other people.
We aren’t profligate spenders but we do spend way more than the average. WAY more. I don’t think we CAN call ourselves frugal.
Which spouse makes more? I used to compete with PiC head to head but I’ve fallen way behind in these past couple of years and it bothers me a bit.
France was off my travel list when my dietary restrictions came into play because how could I go and not absorb all the carbs they had to offer?? But spotting Space Invaders is a really fun reason to go.
Kristine is going into farming. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, I love when other people share how they come to their own realizations.
Mom/parent guilt is strong. PiC gets this and sometimes I have to put my foot down and insist HE IS going to go out on Sunday morning with his friends to do their thing, period, no questions asked. I don’t take those specific breaks myself because I don’t feel the need – I get my social time throughout the week, online, and that fills my bucket.
Golden Girls: I like the idea of choosing my own living companions later in life with an eye to aging in place and being prepared to have a live in caretaker and so on. It appeals to the planner in me.
Angela coming off a 2 year clothing ban. Living in the foggy Bay Area means I’m in a new sweatshirt that’s actually warm and loungepants that PiC bought for me three years ago 4 out of 5 days a week, and my latest clothing purchases revolve almost entirely around comfort (stretchy yoga pants). I’m still working through my old work layers that aren’t presentable anymore but still have plenty of wear in them. I picked up a couple fancy pieces last December and they both need hemming, I need to find my way to the tailor. What’s your clothing philosophy these days?