About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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August 14, 2009
FB’s post on keeping up with her credit card transactions explains a very similar technique I used when my family was still involved in my finances.
They had credit card debt, half of which had been balance-transferred to my name, they had regular rent/utilities bills which weren’t always covered by their income, they had loans from me, the list ran on for some length.
My finances became this huge non-linear web: income (mine) – outflow (mine) – income (parents) – outflow (theirs) + income (mine) to cover their outflow – outflow (brother’s) + income (mine) to cover his inadequate or non-existent income.
To make things even more complicated, there were debts I’d forgiven, there were new debts accumulated, there was irregular income, irregular overtime, and periods of non-payment. The budgeting calendar was a hot mess!
Eventually, the best way to coordinate things during the time before business credit cards (to divide and track our purchases by user) was to tally each deposit and outgoing check by highlighter and separate transactions.
Every single payment from the family was labeled by name (Dad), amount ($50), reason (loan), and type (cash). While the check ledger was never reconciled in the traditional sense, each outgoing cash loan was recorded, and later struck through once a payment was recorded and
color-coded.
Nowadays, payments are only bundled when I’m scheduling them for bills to be paid out within the same week, preferably in the same day.
As long as a quick glance shows that each transaction is accounted for, I don’t have to worry about running short on funds, overdrawing, or any such thing. Saves me time and fuss, it’s my form of automation.
Ms. Ginger touched on this yesterday in her combo confessional and fix-it post. She and I must be channeling each other this week. š
August 13, 2009
Aside from the spending reports from my recent travel, let’s just say I’ve … been paying so little attention to my cash flow that I have no idea how much I’ve spent this month. But that’s not the worst part – I’ve been going out sporadically, but no more than once or twice a week, and for pretty low-key stuff. Local burger joint, and suchlike.
No, my real stupidity is located in the travel reservation part of life. During my most hectic lead-up to two weekends ago, I made reservations at a Best Western for a single night stay in the middle of nowhere because that’s where an old friend was getting married. After days of squeezing in hotel and rental car research between other obligations, my travel companion and I came to the realization we just couldn’t afford it.
Cue: cancel the hotel reservation. Right? RIGHT???
Oh no. THIS idiot forgot about it completely.
Seriously. 100% completely forgot it until a note of the $98 transaction popped up on Yodlee charged to my trusty new credit card. When the truth dawned on me, I was as wordless as a much less cheerful Andy Runton’s Owly …..
“????” I said.
Then “!!!!!”
You may not think it’s physically possible to kick oneself and hang head in shame at the same time, but it is. Oh, it is. (“!!!!!”)
Now I’d better creatively replace that money. (“……”)
This is what happens when you stray from routine: mistakes that cost you big money. Normally everything that has a cancellation date is recorded meticulously on the day of the call, as well as on the day that I have to make the cancellation call by. My planner, however, has been languishing on my desk since July 1st, and that’s all my fault.
August 12, 2009
Evidently, according to reader K of Frugal Zeitgeist, only those unemployment claims filed before June 15th are eligible for the massively extended benefits.
Since K is in NYC, I figured I’d better check out the CA site to make sure I know what’s what. According to the informational PDF, Miss M is right that the claims balance is the amount I can claim before running out of money:
The maximum amount of a regular UI claim is either 26 times the claimant’s weekly benefi t amount or one-half of the claimant’s base period wages, whichever is less.
Both the Federal government and California have their own extended benefits programs that will kick in:
only when unemployment is very high. This program pays additional benefits to those who qualify and have collected all of the benefits on their regular claims and
who are not eligible for any other UI claims. The EDD will notify individuals by mail and/or through the media when they become potentially eligible for these benefits.
Under Fed-ED, claimants who have exhausted their regular UI claim may be eligible to collect up to 13 additional weeks of compensation if a Fed-ED period is in effect. Once activated, the Fed-ED period must continue in effect for at least 13 weeks. When the program is deactivated, it must remain inactive for at least 13 weeks.
And then for California:
California has its own state-financed extended benefits program. The benefits paid under this program are from the state UI fund. The trigger mechanism for the Cal-ED program is similar to Fed-ED. Under either Cal-ED or Fed-ED, an individual receives up to one-half of the regular UI base claim. Therefore, any claimant who has
received the full amount of extended benefits on a Fed-ED claim cannot qualify for a Cal-ED claim based on the same base claim.
Obviously I don’t PLAN to remain unemployed for so long that I need to use the extended benefits programs, but it’s best to be informed.
August 11, 2009
On the matter of delaying my COBRA coverage: I knew there was a reason I kept all the paperwork!
It turns out that I was just delaying the inevitable. According to page 7 of my rather fat stack of papers here, I am NOT (and I assume that includes you, Funny) exempt from making the retroactive payments on these intervening months since leaving my former place of employ.
As they say …
This initial payment premium is for the retroactive coverage period from the date of loss of coverage to the date you elect continuation coverage.
That’s disappointing.
Even though my authorial participation in carnivals is low, I haven’t found my stories yet, at least, not the stories that fit into each specific carnival, I still want to remain engaged with the pf blogging community at large.
I’ve found a job for myself that is more in line with my behind-the-scenes style: helping Flexo manage the Carnival of Personal Finance!
I’m excited about this opportunity, and hope that I’ll be a good fit on the other side of the curtains!
August 10, 2009
Fast on the heels of my declaration of independence from one kind of family tie, I face another.
What does one do, when simply listening to the cadence of another’s speech, the emotion, knowing that the little tears in the corners of the eye, the breaking voice, were all just cues built in meant specifically for manipulation [to my ears], drives you into a hands-shaking rage?
No, that’s not healthy. But that IS family.
I’ll be honest. I’ve been avoiding my brother via the cold shoulder and various other defensive-shunting techniques for the past few months because every time I even consider having a sit-down with him, I get angry. It took two months to pen a response to his most recent outrageously audacious “I’m trying ever so hard, and btw, can I get a little more free rein around here if I help out some more?” missive. Are you kidding me? Because I’m pretty sure that was followed up by a distinct period of doing less. I never sent it because I wanted to be sure this was a battle worth engaging in.
Frankly, I just didn’t want to hear it. Not the excuses, not the whining, not the plaints that he’s trying soooo hard. None of it. Don’t care. Haven’t seen it, and don’t care. Patience hath boiled over and boiled off in this little pot, and the last thing we needed was steam in this already sweltering heat. Yet, how long can you ignore a family member who lives feet away from you? [At last count … three and a half months. We’re restarting the clock.]
Seriously, though. He actually came and apologized for being too loud, which he was, but really, it was an apology because he’d gotten caught. And for what? For the dumbest thing — I wasn’t out to catch him! I’d just remembered to take out the trash! [Serious. Check my Twitter. I’d just gone out to get the trash and ran into him outside.]
Jeepers. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I was living in a trailer park, about to get shipped out to Jerry Springer.
So now I feel obligated to give the real verbal thrashing for the real issues I’m angry about – of which there are many, and of those many, all are justified – since I had to listen to his idiotic sob stories despite doing my darndest to avoid them and the angry rant I’ve got to deliver. It’s only fair. If he’d just left me alone, I wouldn’t have to play the parent role again. Jerk. *scowl*
August 9, 2009
[Stacking Pennies, Paranoid Asteroid, Sallie’s Niece, who else am I forgetting?]
I’ve sown the first (second, truthfully) seed.
No, not that one. The other one. The one where I tell one member of my family, a beloved cousin, that I’m just not on for that wedding + extended family + people I Don’t Even Know nonsense. Present company excepted, I’m just not into the wedding hullaballoo and not to be surprised if I elope.
She didn’t give me the You’d Better Tell Me! ultimatum like my other cousin did. Which is good. That means she’s not taking it too seriously, but now she knows the possibility is out there.
*rubbing hands in anticipation*
I feel like a total rebel. There’s been one non-traditional wedding in the family in the last 25 years, and that was only acceptable because the two in question were two older adults who weren’t expected to be their parents’ showcases. [Because their parents were deceased.]
It wasn’t until this past year that I realized that all my stressing about saving at least $25,000 for a wedding that I wasn’t going to enjoy just because I wanted to honor my family’s expectations was just crap.
1 – I hate being the center of attention. My poor mom kept trying to talk sense into me: you only get this chance once, it’s your only special day, everybody will want to see you…. but she never realize that last point was always the endgame. I like my friends, I like some of my family. I love spending time with them. But I hate being in the spotlight! It makes me feel like a spastic, awkwardly grinning monkey.
2 – I really hate being in the spotlight. Hate hate hate. I’ve served as bridesmaid often enough to be happy I’m just in the sidelines of the spotlight, but I grinned and bore it for the love of my friends who were reveling in their special day.
3 – I like the work involved in putting a wedding together, I’ve done enough of them to know the drill, the dance and the panic polka, and it’s kind of fun, really, but that’s more because I’m a workaholic. Thus, I like the work. And it’s fun creating a bride’s vision. But I just don’t really have a vision of my own. I’ve never looked at the weddings I’ve attended, been in, or worked on and said, “laaaa-siiiighhhh, I want mine to be juuuust like thaaaat.” Given the chance, I might be able to pick a dress. But that’s about it.
So this is my thought. If I get married, I’m really pushing hard for an elopement, or a civil ceremony and a small friends + family party. I just don’t feel the imperative to prove it to the world in the form of perfectly arranged flowers, too much fluffy tulle, and organizational gymnastics. The world doesn’t know me, or particularly care.
Besides, marriage isn’t about that. It’s about the relationship, which is best homespun and supplied with plenty of food and laughter. So I’m not betraying anything, I’m just taking it down a notch to simplicity.
P.S. Ladies currently planning or intending to plan your weddings? Please continue! I love attending a lovely wedding. I like wedding pictures, even watching the wedding video afterwards, if it’s good. I just doubt I can handle being the bride myself. š
