About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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February 8, 2022
Feelings
As I was gently tickling a crying Smol, checking them for anything that was poking them or otherwise making them physically uncomfortable, JB scolded me: Mom, they’re sad. Don’t try to cheer them up if they’re sad!
This came from a conversation we had about how it’s ok for people to be sad and they don’t need to be jollied out of it. They just need to be allowed to have their moment of sadness and to let it pass in their own time. I had to explain that there’s a difference between having sad feelings, which are fine, and being sad because something physically doesn’t feel good that can be fixed. For babies, we’re responsible for figuring out the latter, but as they get older, we’ll be responsible for recognizing the former.
*****
JB was instructed to put away laundry and of course, even with the motivation of opening reserved gifts if they finished the entire chore instead of just the half they were assigned at first (it should go without saying that it should be without whining), they were FULL of dramatics. They don’t specifically whine about the task because they know they can’t get away with that. So instead they dramatically exclaim over and over when they do something asinine like overload one side of the laundry basket and it pitches over. Six. Times. Six freaking times. Six times we hear the basket tip over and a loud exclamation. I can’t say how utterly grating it is to hear them being extra dramatic as an equally irritating alternative to whining. And then we lose it and they lose their incentive and then it’s all tears and grouchiness and arghhhhh. I can see why some parents don’t bother to have their kids take on responsibility. It’s a right pain in the caboose. But we’re not going to give up just because this is like nails on a chalkboard. We endure. In bad moods, but we endure.
Life with Smol Acrobat
We are DONE WITH FORMULA. I have shaken my last bottle of formula for this baby! *Snoopy dance*
I have been so ready to be done with making up formula bottles. The mess, the “finish in one hour after starting” calculations, the waste when Smol decided after a taste that they weren’t hungry after all and refused to be hungry until one hour and five minutes after contaminating that first bottle we can’t use anymore.
We’ve been offering all kinds of solids since they were 6 months and they’re just now making the mental shift of preferring to fill up on solids rather than milk. Some days they still don’t want food, though.
Here’s a weird thing: they like cold food and warm milk. Can’t reverse them. It’s so strange. Feed them a bite of warm bread and they grimace like it’s bitter. Give them a bottle of cold milk and it’s BRAIN FREEZE CITY. But cold food straight from the fridge? Divine. Warm milk? Perfection.
We’re working on it. They’re slowly loosening their grip on these convictions. Our next thing is to convince them that milk IS permitted in non bottle containers. Like sippy cups. Their firm belief is that that sippy cups are only for water. They’re happy with any sippy but it MUST contain water.
Speaking of food progress, I keep forgetting that Smol has Rules. Any new food to be introduced must be the TINIEST of bites. They’re more willing to try new foods now but the first bite must always be nearly microscopic so they can check for poison. Large bites are accepted and then immediately dribbled down their front in the most disgusting possible way to teach this lesson.
Also, some foods must be hand fed, some spoon fed, others fork fed, some self fed and you have to figure out which is which purely by process of food being ejected with varying levels of force.
P.S. You’re going straight to hell if you’re using chopsticks for yourself but not for them.
Mealtimes are Such Fun! 🤯
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Baby milestones: They have started trying to walk in earnest. It’s very exciting! I’m not ready for a toddler!
We’ve also entered a phase I tend to enjoy for its predictability: the unpacking baby. My babies, maybe most do? I have insufficient data for this, tend to have a period whereby all containers that contain things must stop containing things. Laundry in a basket must become the laundry out of a basket. Diapers in a bag must be diapers strewn across the floor. A nearly packed diaper bag must become a completely empty diaper bag. It’s easy to keep them busy at this stage. I’m never concerned by the sound of their shaking a ziplock bag, I know what they’re up to but they don’t yet have the dexterity to open sealed bags.
Segue to another thing they enjoy:
They’ve spent months trying to steal Sera’s kibble out of her bowl, never succeeding because we’d always pull them away in time. Sera, it must be noted, would probably let them take the food out of their bowl while she ate. Her only reaction to a baby sneaking up on her food bowl is to move over to make space.
Unbeknownst to me, Smol had discovered the jackpot of an unsealed dog food bag and went to town. I’d dismissively handwaved their location: they’re fine, they’re just playing with Sera’s food bag.
PiC, attentive father that he is, went to check anyway and discovered them with two hands, and a mouth, full of kibble. “Oh. They’re just eating dog food.”
Oh. Oh indeed.
Pupdate
Sera continues to demonstrate hitherto unthought of levels of patience for Smol’s overenthusiastic love pats. They really like petting Sera, but they also pet Sera like a heavy metal drummer.
They do pet all of us that way, but Sera should be the most confused about it. She will walk away if she’s not in the mood, which I am most grateful for, but she’s usually just very patient about it.
Precious Moments
JB: What do you call 2 bananas?
PiC: A pear of bananas?
JB: no! Two slippers!
Us: What? I don’t get it.
JB: It’s just a joke!
*****
The (would-be) traveler’s lament
JB: I wish travel was easier.
Me: Me too.
JB: Why can’t we teleport?
Me: Boy I wish I had the answer to that question.
*****
Are they, though? (Possessiveness)
Me to Smol: Hello, my potato.
JB: Hah, you’re calling them your potato when they’re actually my potato?
Also…
JB to Smol: You’re so cute, you’re so cute, I love you, my dinosaur!
February 7, 2022
Year 2 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 2, Day 319: Welcome to another week of “What childcare?” with the added twist of a random no school day in the middle of the week. It started at 430 with Smol babbling at us, WIDE AWAKE.
JB is highly offended by this day off, it’s on their library visit day and they had plans for the book they were going to borrow next. I see their pain. Though PiC did just take them to the public library on the weekend, and they did come back with about 20 books, they still want one more.
For my part, I am obsessively watching the mail for our tax forms. It doesn’t make them come any faster but I can’t quite stop stalking the mail anyway.
Smol finally had a good first nap today, and woke up in time for lunch. They were hanging out with PiC while I wrapped up some work, and had started complaining about wanting to eat. As usual, I was talking to them like they can understand me, “let’s get some food into you” and went over to set up their seat and tray. They walked right over to me as if making a conscious decision to come to me and get ready to eat! Like they know things! It was kind of amazing.
Year 2, Day 320: Some of PiC’s work frustration is encapsulated perfectly in Debbie’s comment over at Nicole and Maggie. He has to keep asking his collaborators / vendors to do their d*mn jobs and they won’t unless he CCs their supervisor. Then he found out that this incompetent lout was promoted! Unbelievable.
Parts of my work frustration is the same: sometimes it feels like pulling teeth to get people to reply to simple emails and yes we’re all still in a pandemic but when this is ultimately work that they want done and won’t do their part and will then whine at me later about why it took so long… I wish to bite them.
*****
JB doesn’t have school today, so I scheduled a couple of Outschool lessons for them to try out: some art and some language. In the hour before their first much-anticipated lesson, they were told that I was working and PiC was in a meeting so only come ask me if they needed something. They were left to their own devices after that. I snuck out to check on them about 20 minutes before their lesson and they were laying on the ground reading. It’s really nice to see that they make reasonably decent choices when not under direct observation because I can’t say much for their judgement when they ARE being observed!
Unfortunately the teacher never showed up for the second class which was a massive waste of my time. We got a refund but it was 25 minutes I couldn’t get back.
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February 4, 2022
1. I’d been hoarding my Bing points. I normally redeem for Target gift cards which either cover Lakota Giving or diapers, both of which are eminently worthwhile, but I’ve been in need of a dopamine burst that hit differently. And here it is! We were not going to do our normal Lunar New Year feast with friends, and I was a little sad about that, but mostly realistic that I simply did not want to make the extraordinary effort to make it happen. There’s a very popular place nearby that does Asian BBQ foods that’s a huge pain to buy from. You can’t call in an order, they rarely pick up and if they do pick up, they may not fill your order for hours. Also: we were gifted Doordash gift cards for the holiday. For the sake of the businesses, and our pocketbooks, we do pickup direct from local restaurants as much as we can but there are many days where we can’t deal with the pain of running out for another thing at the end of a hard day. We hoard Doordash money against serious need. (We have a lot more of those than we’re willing to admit and we should do better on that front.) But this is one way we can win win win: a combination of my points redemption and their gift card = a big order from this restaurant. This will supply some delicious BBQ for our Lunar New Year dinner so we don’t have to waste hours of energy fetching it and I will be able to freeze a few portions of it for future dinners when we are on the ropes. It’ll wipe out our reserve but I think it’s worth it.
(After the fact: the delivery was botched but we got part of our order and that was yummy!) (more…)
February 1, 2022
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. There are ways to support the blog and our charitable giving in the sidebar.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $188 in dividends from the stocks portfolio.
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I cancelled my Chase Sapphire Reserve and got the Chase Freedom Unlimited instead. There was a $200 Bonus on $500 spend, no annual fee, 3% Cashback on drugstores/dining and 1.5% Cashback on anything else. I knocked out that $500 spend 10 minutes after activating the card: we had insurance, water, internet and cell phone bills to pay!
I haven’t done a credit card churn in probably four years, I might do two more cards this year to generate some extra income. We could use a bit of padding against the time we (*knock wood*) start paying childcare and/car payments.
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January 31, 2022
Year 2 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 2, Day 316: We don’t technically live paycheck to paycheck but I sure do look forward to payday as if we do. About six days before we get paid my radar starts going up, every two weeks. Where’s my money. I want it Right Now. I wonder if that twitch will ever wear off…
*****
I am not sure if the principal is deliberately misleading us but they’ve only notified us of a handful of cases. When I check the district dashboard, that reports 6x more cases than what the principal has reported. This isn’t doing good things for my stress levels.
*****
Related: I have been noticing the urge to shop more and more often. Not an urge to get something specific that we need – just an urge to shop. Which tells me that I’m seeking endorphins to combat the stress chemicals racing around my body.
The thing is, once I identify the want to shop, rather than the want to acquire things, I remember that I don’t want a quick hit of dopamine. I’m craving more peace and tranquility, more smooth and longlasting doses of quiet and rest and recuperation. The quick hit seems more achievable but it’s not the healthy stuff I actually want.
I don’t know how to get the part though.
*****
I AM proud of making dinner tonight. I tried this baked panko chicken recipe (thanks for the idea, Hawaii Planner!), with a big salad and roasted potatoes on the side. Everyone liked it, eventually. Smol was my Pickypants holdout spitting out everything I gave them but it turns out they were just being their usual kind of ornery and not wanting much of dinner until JB brought them a banana. That, they ate happily. Pickypants. (more…)
January 28, 2022
1. If you’re a direct aid giving type of person, Quiara is good people. Everything in life is getting increasingly expensive and it’s harder to make a very set income stretch.
2. I pulled a batch of Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Bars from the freezer, apparently I froze them back in 2020! 😬 They were still perfect though, and JB was Very Concerned that I didn’t remember where the recipe came from. Thank goodness I had blogged about it!
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January 25, 2022
Welcome to our fifth year supporting families on the Pine Ridge Reservation Okini! I never would have thought we’d be doing this five years later but this amazing community really comes together every year and I appreciate y’all deeply!
Some background on this amazing project:
In 2018, a small group of us came together to give holiday gifts to Lakota families. In 2019, I organized, this time earlier in the year, and expanded to include holiday needs.
The goal for 2020 became to make this a year-round project and amid COVID sweeping the world, pregnancy, and a tumultous Presidential election year in the United States, we put $2153.05 to work responding to ten separate requests for aid.
I kicked off 2021 with a boatload of goods to the Allen Youth Center dedicated to helping Lakota youth specifically: diapers, wipes, body soap, shampoo and conditioner. We ended the year with gifts to the Youth Center for the holidays – almost. It turns out that folks had more to give through the end of the year and we helped another family with much needed diapers before I had to take a break.
All told in 2021, we deployed $6606 responding to 18 requests and helping over 60 people. What a year.
This year I am tweaking it a little bit. Last year I sent around a last call for the start of November and then… we just kept rolling anyway! I’m not going to turn down resources to help people, but at some point I do have to take a break.
I will accept donations all year round and the cut off date will only apply to the shopping part. Anything that isn’t spent on 2022 families will roll over to 2023 families.
I hope you can join me and/or share the project!
You can make contributions to ….
1. My Ko-Fi page (note: Ko-Fi flows through Paypal so they do take fees out of what you send)
Update: AGSL’s PayPal can’t receive friends and family gifts anymore so we’re updating contribution methods soon!
:: Contributors get first updates by email, and I include some details in my monthly money reports afterwards.