I miss having (the illusion of) a functional family.
My sibling brought home a puppy because he thought he could emotionally manipulate me into letting him keep it when I got back. You know, the sibling with the other dog we have to feed half the time because he can’t afford to. After a few days of romping, the dog gets sick and surprise, she has parvo! I think we know what thatmeans by now.
After two days of sick puppy, he tries to get my dad to call me to help him. And then he calls me himself because my dad won’t do it.
His own dog isn’t vaccinated against parvo! And my dog is old enough that though she’s always been vaccinated, she could be susceptible if it’s truly virulent. There’s no way of knowing. I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle him. He’s an idiot. Now that poor sick puppy has been all over my house shedding parvovirus and he wants me to tell him what to do. And she’s in *really* bad shape.
To recap: he brings home a puppy he is incapable to caring for, like a child, and runs to me to fix it after he’s screwed up.
I just wanted to scream.
I did rip his head off. He and his little friends decided to bring her home, so it’s their responsibility. It broke my heart to say it, but I made it clear that if they can’t (he can’t) afford to take proper care of her knowing that there’s no guarantee she’ll recover, then the only humane thing to do is to put her down because she’s just going to keep getting worse. I think one of them is willing to take financial responsibility whether or not she’s really able to afford it so I hope for the best for the pup.
This won’t be the last time this happens. Obviously the threat of my coming home isn’t enough and I can’t keep dealing with this idiocy cropping up because I’m not there, so I’ve got to start making plans to bring my dog up here with me, and finding a good small place for my parents to live. It’s not going to be easy, it will be expensive, but it has to be done.
The sun’s not shining, but I woke up naturally without a struggle at seven this morning, and had an hour to accustom myself to the odd sensation of painless early rising. That’s pretty fantastic. I was really worried about adjusting to long workdays again because of my weird spates of fatigue. I make it through longer days but am pretty beat at night
Today’s my “sixth workday” – it’s time to do everything I didn’t manage to work on during the week.
1. Log at least 3 hours on the freelance gig.
2. Write ~ 4000 words. (of which, at least some should be to help out Funny About Money)
3. Transcribe notes from work and organize them so I’ll be ready to start a new week on Monday.
4. Take my new employee training courses, plus the one assigned to my staffer.
Accomplished this week!
Counting today’s planned meals, I’ve very proud to say that I’ve only eaten out once this week. It was a little rice curry and sashimi meal (just a few pieces) to celebrate surviving my first full week intact.
I’m working on the dinner menu for next week, starting with some salmon tonight and roasted chicken tomorrow (which becomes at least two meals, chicken stock and delicious chicken soup). I’m avoiding red meats for now because they’re both expensive and less healthy, but am casting about for some good crockpot and ground turkey recipes. Not necessarily in conjunction, but I’m ok with that.
Reading this week
My gleanings aren’t as robust as usual, but I’ve been lucky to squeeze in a post or two, reading on my commute.
The NY Times continues coverage on the Pope’s earlier dealings with abusive priests. This whole thing just infuriates me. How can you look at such an egregious transgression and just say “let’s wait [years!] to conclude this decision”!? If I were Catholic, the sense of betrayal would be overwhelming.
Mrs. Micah ‘fessed up to a pretty big mistake that’s totally understandable and I’m proud of how she rallied after realizing what’d happened.
She also shared this most hilarious site specifically for designers but totally applicable to anyone who has ever dealt with clients: Clients From Hell
I have a lovely set of postcards to give away courtesy of Uprinting which has expanded to postcard printing. You can design and order your print cards online. Y’all have three days to snag this prize!
The specs:
100 4 x 6 Postcards for One (1) Winner
Paper Stock: 14pt Cardstock Gloss
Specifications: Full Color Both Sides; 3 Business Days Turnaround
Shipping: FREE UPS Ground Shipping
How to Enter:
(One entry)Leave a comment with your name and a valid email address. Tell me anything you like about yourself.
(Five entries)Follow me and tweet this up to five times “Win postcards from @RevancheGS: http://bit.ly/biwtBJ RT to win!”
(Two entries) Blog about this giveaway Link back in a comment to let me know.
(Two entries)Subscribe to my feed (If you already subscribe, let me know in a comment)
Rules and Restrictions
1. I will select a winner at random using a number generator. 2. My decisions are final. 3. Open to US residents only. Sorry, my non-US resident friends! 4. Giveaway closes 11:59 pm PST, March 27th.
The codependent sibling has struck again. This time, he’s proposing that he move the family to cheaper housing [don’t ask me how he thinks it’s going to be a) attainable, b) affordable, or c) tolerable as I have done my research on this front already], while he stays at the house with the dogs who wouldn’t be allowed in apartment housing, and renovate so that he can sublet to his prospective coworkers.
Leaving aside the costs of moving and maintaining a whole new household, the insanity of depending on him to renovate the house, and the utter lunacy of trusting him with my dog’s life and health, it’s like he’s a newborn babe innocent to all the ways of the world. [A thirty year old newborn.]
He really thinks it’s as simple as that summed up statement there. If I were crazy, foolish, or suicidally inclined, I might be tempted to say, why not? Let HIM take some responsibility for once. Except I’m not any of those and the second everything fell apart, I’d be asked to take over. Aw heck no!
This is the guy who hasn’t managed to pay $200 in rent once a month on time for more than 6 months. This is the guy who couldn’t keep up with his car payments more than halfway through the term, before abandoning the payments to me. This is the guy who evidently thinks I’m a moron and will cede to his Big Plan. Based on what? The essence of fairy dust?
Instead of smacking him upside the head Gibbs-style (ask Mrs. Micah or DebtHater what I mean 😉 by that), I listed just a few responsibilities “taking over the house” entailed, off the top of my head:
1. Are you prepared to feed and care for the dogs? Can you feed them on time every day, no excuses? Can you clean their ears, clip their toenails? Can you bathe them twice a month? Can you get your dog fixed? Can you pick up after them every single day? 2. What are you going to do when one of them gets sick? 3. Can you keep every public room in the house clean, vacuuming everything once a week, cleaning the windows once a quarter, washing the floors once a week? 4. Can you wash the dishes after every meal and wash down the kitchen once a week? 5. Can you turn off every unnecessary light in every room? 6. Can you make sure that no faucet, sink or tub in the house or the garage leaks? 7. Can you make sure that the windows are airtight? 8. Can you live without running the heat or the a/c? 9. Can you pay rent in full, every month, on time? 10. Can you pay the water/trash payments in full, every month, on time? 11. Can you pay the gas payments in full, every month, on time? 12. Can you pay the electric payments in full, every month, on time? 13. Can you pay the insurance payments in full, every month, on time? 14. Can you pay for groceries and gas after paying all those expenses without resorting to credit cards, borrowing money, or otherwise using money you haven’t already earned and received? 15. Can you live on what’s left after paying all those expenses without resorting to credit cards, borrowing money, or otherwise using money you haven’t already earned and received? 16. Can you make sure that the subletters pay their rent money to you on time to cover all of the above bills that you cannot handle on your own? 17. Can you make up the difference between $2500-3000 a month if your renters don’t pay you without resorting to credit cards or borrowing money? 18. How long can you subsidize your friends when someone doesn’t pay? You do know that just your living here doesn’t force them to pay? 19. Unless you have a legal written and signed document, you have very little power as a landlord. But the converse is that evicting someone for non-payment is extremely difficult in the state of California. You have to be unpaid for between three to six months before you’re allowed to evict them. 20. Who will be responsible if there’s an emergency? 21. Who is going to be responsible for a lawsuit if one of them or one of their friends gets injured on the property? You will. As the “landlord” you are legally responsible for injuries that occur on the property whether or not you were there to witness it. 22. How are you going to make time to renovate the house while going to school, working and managing finances for renters when you’ve never done the first two while managing your own finances responsibly consistently?
Now I think I’m going to go smack him upside the head. Honestly!! I have so many more things on my plate to deal with, I don’t have time to raise a 30-year-idiot.
*sigh*
Alright, fine. I’m a liar. I’m still in parenting mode. Because instead of just dismissing him and walking away, I’m giving him rules to abide by if he really wants to prove he’s serious about making things right. I am not sticking around to make him toe the line. Either he does it or he doesn’t, I’m not ceding any rights
School: 1. You lay out what your classes are from now until you graduate on a calendar. 2. You calendar when you will be looking for work that’s related to your degree or what comes next after graduation and how you’re going to make it happen. 3. You list out on a spreadsheet what the cost of school is, how much is covered by the government and what you will pay out of pocket for tuition, fees and books. 4. AND you show on a calendar your registration dates and the tuition due dates. Rent: 1. You continue to work and earn at least $1000 a month. 2. You set out a budget that I approve in which you lay out how much money you’re earning against how much and what you’re spending. That will include a line item for rent, amount and due date set for the same time every month. It is your responsibility to make sure that I receive payment in full, on time. 3. You note your cash and every single item you spend on in the spreadsheet. 4. At the beginning of each month, your first payment is rent, at the end of every month, you post your spreadsheet with receipts. House: 1. Whatever you think needs work needs to be scheduled to let everyone know what and when you’re doing a project and how long it will take. Renovations inconvenience everyone and you need to reduce that inconvenience as much as possible.
Does anyone want to start laying bets what kind of response my counter-proposal will get?
No, I’m not getting ready for any major life change personally. It’s just that I’m failing to stay abreast of the tsunami of friends, friends of friends, and family friends getting pregnant and inviting me to every single baby shower, ever. Similar to the previous decade’s “We’re engaged (and we want you in the wedding)!” the watchphrase of the 2010s bodes well to be “We’re expecting!”
Then, inevitably, the baby shower. Most of them are thrown together clutches of women from separate circles of the mom-to-be’s life who are mostly there to compare gifts. I hate the cutesy games that always include a huge diaper pin or the ones where uttering the word “baby” is greeted with hoots and tallied throughout the afternoon. And the cooing. The cooing. I hate baby showers. I know, I’m a monster.
I love babies, I love showers, I even like baby clothes, and I’m very happy for the expecting. But let’s face it, your run of the mill baby shower is just awful.
And when you consider the outrageous cost of all things New Baby people register for, everyone else’s life events can easily run roughshod over your unsuspecting budget. You understand I love gift-giving, but I love good gift-giving. Lacking the yarn wrangling skills (which aren’t cheap) of Mapgirl and Mrs. Micah, I trend towards more practical gifts like clothing in a variety of sizes, plenty of bibs, feeding-related equipment, lotions and potions galore. You simply cannot compile a good baby gift using conventional methods and get out the door for under $100-200. And you know I’m not a get out the door gifter.
If we were only doing this dance once a year, I’d shut up and go along with it, but my cohort numbers at least 20 individuals, and I’m very very close with at least half of them which means I’m on the guest list for their friends and family. This decade, inclusivity will cost more than I can bear unless I “Adapt, Overcome and Improvise!” [Points to whoever recognizes which Eastwood movie that’s from.]
So how do I graciously deal? The same way I dealt with bridesmaiding: be creative and plan far in advance.
Stage 1: Baby clothes can cost more than my personal annual clothing budget, so I’ve signed up for Gymboree’s rewards program wherein I’m showered with coupons and sales notices. Twice a year, they have their Semi-Annual sale where clothes are marked down 50-70%, and combined with coupons and outlet stores, I’ll stock up on clothing for both genders.
Stage 2: Baby-related stuff, being unlimited to any season, doesn’t go on sale the way Christmas, Valentine’s Day or other annual holiday stuff does. So wrapping paper, bags, and tissue paper will be purchased in neutrals and well in advance of any shower invitation. Baskets are a great wrapping aid, and are usually most affordable when found at resale shops like Big Lots, Tuesday Morning or Ross and Marshalls.
Stage 3: My closest friends know that I’m at least financially nerdy, so I’m issuing a declaration that all gifts post-baby shower will be something toward their education. And then I’m either contributing towards the school fund or giving a modest cash gift.
Note: I buy clothing in mostly larger sizes the kids can grow into since most gifts are onesies for 6 months and under. I target 18 months and older and try to find them for $5 or less.
I’ve got a queue of things to give away, but as we’re well into tax season during which people swear to start better recordkeeping, and it’s still the first quarter of the year, I think it’s practical to start with tools for organization and business.
**You may enter both giveaways, you just need to tailor your entries for each one! I’m keeping track of entries separately so you have equal chances for either prize.**
Free one-year subscription to the upgraded online PearBudget
Value: $36
Co-founder Charlie Park was kind enough to drop by and let me know that all my major objections to the software had been addressed in the online version and offered me a free subscription as well as one for my readers. I encourage you to drop by and try their 30-day free subscription to decide if you like it. You won’t need a credit card for the free trial.
How to Enter:
(One entry)Leave a comment including “Pearbudget,” your name and a valid email address. Tell me about your current tracking system and what you love and hate about it.
(One entry)Follow me and tweet this ONCE “Win a Pearbudget subscription from @RevancheGS: http://bit.ly/aV8AMp”
(Two entries) Blog about this giveaway Link back in a comment to let me know.
(Two entries)Subscribe to my feed (If you already subscribe, let me know in a comment) And lure in a new reader who would sincerely like this blog and hang out for good times. Actually I have no idea how you’d do the latter, so instead you can regale me with a story about how you would have done, if you could have.
Rules and Restrictions
1. I will select a winner at random using a number generator. 2. My decisions are final. 3. Pearbudget is responsible for changing your account to a free account for a year after I select a winner. 4. Open to anyone with an internet connection. 5. Giveaway closes 11:59 pm PST, March 2nd.
500 business cards from Uprinting
Uprinting’s at it again, so for those of you who still haven’t snagged a set of business cards for yourself or your blog, you have a chance to win a fairly snazzy set here.
The Specs:
Sizes: 2 x 3.5”, 2 x 3”, 2 x 2” (square card) or 1.5 x 3.5” (skinny card)
Specifications: Full Color Both Sides; Offset Press; 3 Business Day Printing
The ordering process should be pretty simple (though playing with the template designs might take you a while). I was pleasantly surprised when I ordered business cards online the first time around, though it was with another company. If you like, you can check out what other swag and doodads you can order and print online at their site.
How to Enter:
(One entry)Leave a comment including “Uprinting,” your name and a valid email address. Tell me what you’re going to do with the other 400 cards because, let’s face it, I’ve never given away more than 100 of any set of business cards ever.
(One entry) Follow me and tweet this ONCE “Win Uprinting business cards from @RevancheGS: http://bit.ly/aV8AMp”
(Two entries) Blog about this giveaway Link back in a comment to let me know.
(Two entries) Subscribe to my feed(If you already subscribe, let me know in a comment) Come back and tell me a funny story. (Optional)
Rules and Restrictions
1. Open to US residents only. (Sorry guys! They’re paying for shipping, I don’t have a say in this.) 2. I will select a winner at random using a number generator. 3. My decisions are final. 4. Uprinting is responsible for everything that comes after I pick a winner and tell them who to reward. 5. Giveaway closes 11:59 pm PST, February 20th.
Disclosure: There may be something in it for me in exchange for posting this giveaway, but I don’t know what it is yet, or if I’ll even accept it.
In a previous post, Pets and money: where do you draw the line?, we talked about a situation where a family had to choose between necessities and a pet’s health. The woman literally didn’t know how she was going to feed her kids, but with an unemployed husband, she still brought home a sick puppy.
I’m an animal lover, as my “retirement plan” clearly indicates, but I’m also a very practical person as my blog shows. At no point would I ever want to be faced with an either/or situation when it comes to the health of my family, including the furry, wet-nosed and four-footed members.
Knowing what I do about the costs of health care for animals, I could not, in good conscience, take on any more pets without a solid pet fund. Saying that aloud makes me feel like a Murphy’s target was just painted on my back.
I recommend being proactive: get an emergency kit and fund put together. You never know when an incident may strike and if it’s minor, a kit could save you an expensive visit to the vet’s office.
Lemons and the case for an animal emergency kit
So many people think: “it couldn’t happen to me. My pet is calm, quiet, and well-behaved, he/she/it wouldn’t ever need emergency anything.” Once in a while, that’s true. Some pets can go his/her/its entire life without needing more than routine maintenance. It’s a rarity, though.
I’m a mutt-lover. Each of my three dogs were a variation on a Mutt, and only one of them developed truly life-threatening health problems later in life. I was lucky enough to be working at a clinic at the time and he received top-notch care at a discount, but there were times I knew that, as a regular client, I would have been forced to make a final decision based on cost. Even with a 75% discount, I spent more than $3,000 on him on an $18,000 salary. My other two live(d) unnaturally long lives – the chihuahua lasted about 18 years, the large breed mix is still hobbling along at 15 years of age. We probably only have a few, if that many, years left together.
Some people believe in the power of the purebred. They think that good bloodlines are security, a bit of insurance against the run of the mill illnesses that plague mixed breeds, mutts, and scruffy rescues. To some degree, they’re right. They’re very unlikely to get a Parvo Pup from a reputable breeder – though there aren’t any such guarantees if you’re dealing with a disreputable breeder or even worse, a puppy mill.
But the thing purebreds have going for (or against) them is the predictability of their breeds. Labs have hip dysplasia, Dachshunds and other long, low-riders have spinal problems, Great Danes have gastric torsion, white Boxers are highly prone to cancer and lots of it. None of these mean that every purebred’s fate is set in stone, it just means they’re highly prone to specific illnesses.
What you don’t get in that list of “what they’re prone to” is the list of “what else could happen.”
GB: the cautionary tale
My dear friends bought a very Marleyesque dog, we’ll call him GB for the Good Boy he really tries to be. The cost of just bringing GB home was several hundred dollars, a cost that my pound/rescue supporting self will withhold comment on. They spent hundreds on puppy obedience training, a crate, beds, pens, and all the other conveniences.
The trouble started when GB got home. He was so excited and happy that he had to explore everything and everywhere, and everywhere bought him a big swollen bite on the face. It could have been a spider or insect bite, either way, he looked like one of those hugely magnified Hallmark cards. Off to the vet! Hundreds of dollars and a few shots later, his swelling went down and he worked up a rash instead.
For two weeks he was on antibiotics to treat the rash, infected because GB wouldn’t stop scratching at it, and then his immune system went haywire. He’d never had reactions to his vaccines before but after the bite, he was highly allergic to the vaccines and his vet decreed No More.
Life settled down a bit. I was asked for advice on some suspicious looking pink fleshy scabby things on his face, it seemed to be ok. For any other dog. Knowing GB, I sent them back to the vet anyway and sure enough, more meds. Surprisingly, GB was still in the neighborhood of sub $10,000 at this juncture but he’s nothing if not high-achieving.
A few months later, he couldn’t keep anything down. I didn’t hear about it for about a day, but as they became concerned, my phone started to ring. “Something to do with GB? Yes, take him to the vet.”
X-rays revealed that in his love of turf, he’d scarfed a tiny bit of netting with the grass and it had gotten caught somewhere on the way down to form a little net. Like a sieve, this one inch piece of netting cupped and blocked his intestinal tract, only allowing liquid to pass through. Three cups of dog foods a day came right back up. Two surgeries, another $10,000 later, and GB was sent home with orders to gain 20 pounds during recovery.
He’s had other incidents, like chronic ear infections for his love of swimming with his head underwater, but I’m just grateful he made it through his first year.
He’s a big ticket dog, for which a dog/pet health fund would be highly recommended as part of your arsenal as a pet owner. Pet insurance is always a consideration but it can be hit or miss. I think the decision whether or not to carry pet insurance depends on your cash flow, earning and saving power, and the extent and quality of the coverage offered.
On the more prosaic front, GB managed to injure himself again over the holidays, again sending his parents screaming for my help. Luckily, it was one of the easiest things in his medical history to deal with: a broken dewclaw. The dewclaw on a dog is that thumb-like nail that actually doesn’t serve a purpose but to get broken, chewed on, or hung up on things. The canine’s external appendix, if you will.
For that, I just needed a pair of dog nail clippers, gauze, medical tape and some powder to stop up the bleeding. After clipping off the shattered nail, I wrapped him up and sent him, fat-pawed and resentful, on his way. An emergency visit for that would have cost them at least $100 for the late night visit and then a bit more for simple treatment.
I’d recommend having a Pet Kit on hand for some of the more routine things that your pet could require. My own held the following:
1. Nail clippers. Not the ones that look/act like a guillotine, my dogs hated those. The ones that were more like scissors. They’re easier to control and less uncomfortable for the pet. These are good for basic maintenance, and for situations like GB’s. 2. Cotton balls, long Qtips, and gauze. Pets get into stuff, getting scratches, scrapes and all over in dirt, grass and blood. They’re kind of like kids that way. It’s easier to assess the situation when they’re cleaned up. Long Q-tips are great for keeping ears clean, especially if you’ve got a chronic ear infection on legs. (We did.) Water dogs should also have cotton stuffed in their ears to help protect them from ear infections as well – be sure to check with your vet before you do anything like that, though! 3. Medical tape or wrap that sticks to itself. I used Vetwrap which is like a hybrid between Saran Wrap and medical tape. 4. Towels/rags: Always useful after baths, wrapping up the bedraggled, and containing messes (ahem, vomit).
$$$$ As far as a pet fund goes, I’d be most comfortable with having at least $1,000 per pet assuming I’m still maintaining an outsized amount of cash on hand. If not, I’d like to have closer to $5,000 squirreled away per pet. They can borrow from one another but I don’t like to take for granted that they’ll take turns being sick or injured.
Disclaimer: I’m not a veterinarian- I cannot diagnose your pets. When in doubt, please see your vet.
