Just a little (link) love: moist owlettes edition

LinkLoveCAREER + MONEY THINGS

Buying a condo in cash, woo!

I discovered Luvvie a while back and find in her the inspiration that I’ve been sorely lacking in the PF blog world. I wasn’t looking in the right places, clearly, but who knew that humor was the answer? Luvvie’s been blogging a little longer than I have and has recently achieved some EPIC experiences as a result of those many years of hard work. Her path isn’t mine but her reflections on getting to her mountain tops made my spirit lighter.

When you’re talking about a group of people, remember, they’re actually people who exist.

APW on Family Caregivers: My culture is one that expects you to take your aging parents into your own home, and if that’s impossible, support them entirely in their old age. I’ve been doing the support part for half my life but for reasons (deteriorating relationships, need for privacy and space) it’s becoming unfathomable to me to consider bringing my father into my home. Not least because he won’t leave Troubled/Trainwreck Sibling and TTS is not someone I would ever trust around JuggerBaby or unsupervised in my home, but should we assume TTS was out of the picture, Dad won’t stop smoking and I won’t have that in my home either. Am I a monster? I don’t know. I just know I need to stay sane and healthy.

Leah Daughtry is the CEO for the DNC convention. I didn’t know that had a whole other CEO but it’s such a huge production that makes sense. I also wasn’t aware of the Democratic party’s roots in racism and segregation. It’s interesting to see that though it be hard, things like that can change.

FUN THINGS

Nonprofit with Balls comes back with 8 grammar mistakes we should stop making 

Dubya’s Sway and Smiles to the Battle Hymn: Did he catch the Holy Ghost? Why could he not stay still?

Go see Ghostbusters

PINKYMON – too cute!!

INTERESTING THINGS

What a wonderful tribute to Harold Ramis, Egon of Ghostbusters ’84, by his daughter. He sounds like he was a lovely man.

I have heard dozens of people advising this or another diet change to cure my fibro. My best improvements came when I shut out those unwelcome and uninformed voices and advocated for myself with real health care professionals.

Here’s a security nightmare for you:  I bought and returned a set of WiFi connected home security cameras. Forgot to delete my account and I can now watch the new owner.

Cemeteries operate as alternate cities—cities of the dead. They are often very complex.

Tressie went to a Trump rally and reported back

Sometimes I’m on here, and sometimes I’m on Twitter, and I don’t talk politics. Cloud’s explanation is spot on for me: I refuse to spend my summer reading about that horrible man and his horrible family and whatever horrible thing he’s said today. So I may try to tune out the politics a bit, but don’t mistake that for me not caring. I care a lot, and last night I put my money where my mouth is. Next, I’m going to try to figure out what the most useful volunteer thing someone in a safely blue state like California can do.

Moist Owlettes!

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Minimalist Cat, here to save the day!

Minimalist Cat is here to help you with all that unwanted stuffJoking with Kate and Little Green Revolution on Twitter about being ingrates who give unwanted, personalized, gifts that you can’t regift, a genius brainstorm hit me. I can hire JuggerBaby out! Ze can finally earn zir keep!

Ze is a natural (two-legged) cat with the added benefit of not shedding (much). Ze has been auditioning for the role of Minimalist Cat for MONTHS. If there’s anything breakable within reach, ze makes eye contact, reaches out with a chubby paw and pushes it off the shelf. Grins for the smash. Extra giggles if you react. Extra extra cackles if you react with anger.

Foolish human.

Minimalist Cat thrives on bringing chaos.

Disclaimers: Minimalist Cat does not recycle. Minimal Cat does not dust or pick up unless you offer really good bribes and use Mom voice. Minimalist Cat is a fan of brooms but mostly for licking and wild gesticulations. Not so much for sweeping.

Got clutter? Minimalist Cat will help you!

  • Is it breakable? Minimalist Cat will break it.
  • Is it fabric? Minimalist Cat will pick and chew it.
  • Is it paper? Minimalist Cat will shred and cheek it.
  • Is it shoes? Minimal Cat will steal them.
  • Is it a gift you really really didn’t want? Minimalist Cat will rend and tear it.
  • Are you daunted by how much there is? Does it feel like too big a job because your shelves overflowing? Minimalist Cat will empty them and strew things EVERYWHERE. The better for you to sort it.
  • Are you not unsure what’s in that one closet you don’t open the door to? Minimalist Cat fears not! Ze has your back. Services offered: pull everything out of the closet, unpack all bags and boxes so you can’t pretend you didn’t know it was there, and lick half of it. It’s marked now, throw it out.
  • Is that your mouse? YOU DON’T NEED IT.
  • Is that a landline? Ze can smash it.
  • Is that a cell phone? Ze will use it.
  • Is that your baby? No, silly, that’s Minimalist Cat’s baby now.

“‘Uh-oh’ is for accidents, Minimalist Cat,” says PiC. HAH.

No, but seriously

Clutter is a problem around here. Unwanted gifts, poorly selected clothing, snowdrifts of junk mail all make their way in and it’s a Herculean labor to shovel it all back out again. It’s an endless task but it’s gotta be done or we’ll drown in Bed Bath and Beyond coupons.

I’ve tackled the closet one 20-minute session at a time, forcing myself to make ruthless and realistic decisions. The one-year rule doesn’t work for me because I can go a whole year without touching half my closet but then need that half the following year.

Now, I’m paring down with the aim of having a week’s worth of clothing suitable for each season, casual and business. If I do it right, I’ll end up with a much slimmer and more classic wardrobe.

As for kitchen supplies, nothing new is allowed in there unless we get rid of three things for every one item. I refuse to end up with a Hoarders-level kitchen!

:: What decluttering challenges do you face? Do you discourage gifts from family or friends? Would you like to hire JuggerBaby? 

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Married money: Combining finances or not

In our marriage, our finances are 99% combined. How would you do it?

PiC and I have taken years to properly combine and organize our money since the wedding.

The end goal has always been that I shall take and keep complete Dominion over All Things Money! Given our wildly differing levels of interest, it’s for the best.

We started out with completely separate finances. It was all too complicated to merge, I thought. But as we started to combine our lives, the separation and siloed information started to drive me bonkers. It turns out that I need to have almost complete control over the whole picture to be able to make effective, informed decisions. It’s simply how I work best.

There are still some loose ends. Some of them may stay loose-endy due to their nature of being specifically one person’s thing to deal with. I recently wrapped one of my own, dealing with a retirement account that was weirdly designated and dumping those funds into my primary retirement account. I have another one that I’ve started writing about and am not ready to put out there yet.

Things like inheritance gets tricky. I don’t feel like I have a right to touch money inherited from his side, nor do I want to touch it. On my side, there’s been nothing but grief when it comes to money so I especially hate the feeling that doing anything to protect his inheritance feels like I’m a moneygrubbing so-and-so. Except I don’t want any of it for myself! I just hate seeing money managed less effectively than it could be. But because of the feeling that I didn’t come to this union with my own family money (except I did, it was all money that I earned with my own hands), I’m more comfortable ignoring the nagging feelings that it could be better managed and leaving it alone.

Viewing the landscape, I see friends of varying economic levels from poor to very high net worth with all kinds of financial arrangements.

I also keep seeing strong opinions on how, if you’re married, you need to combine finances. I agree that you have to have a system but I don’t agree that it has to be any specific kind.

:: Have you ever had intertwined finances or finances that were dependent on others (partners or roommates)? How did that work for you? Do you have a personal preference for combined or separate finances?

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Just a little (link) love: SDCC edition

LinkLoveWhy we can’t have nice things: pets and babies are gross

We’re at #SDCC this week so I don’t have time for a proper links post, but NZMuse’s post was too funny to pass up as a fellow pet-owner and a semi-novice baby wrangler.

It’s like there’s a dog / infant manual out there somewhere, and all my dogs (except Seamus and Doggle) followed it.

    • Shoes: Dog stole, JuggerBaby licks the bottoms.
    • Toilet paper rolls: Dog chewed, Juggerbaby licks.
    • Tissue paper, paper towels: Dog shredded, JuggerBaby shreds.
    • Socks: Dog stole for bedding,  JuggerBaby chews on them.

In other news

A friend is mourning the loss of a loved one who was truly lost to drugs a long time ago. We all know that he turned to drugs to dull the pain of serious trauma he experienced as an early teen, but the havoc he wreaked as he tried to find peace was nearly financially devastating. What he went through was unimaginable, what his family is now going through is equally unimaginable. Except I can imagine it because, like my friend, I have imagined a hundred horrible endings for my sibling that are all likelier than his being rehabilitated and I know that we’ll be facing the same situation one day. It makes my heart ache all the more for them, especially since they’re across the country and I can only provide logistical support, I can’t be physically be there for them.

It’s been a rough week already and I’m writing this note on Tuesday.

If you would be so kind as to share something good that’s happened for you, I’d be much obliged.

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