About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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April 14, 2023
1. ACTIVISM: I’ve long asked friends in Florida what we can do to support their fight against fascism.
Today, Equality Florida took the extraordinary step of issuing a travel advisory, warning of the risks posed to the health, safety, and freedom of those considering short or long term travel, or relocation to the state. The move comes in response to a wave of safety inquiries Equality Florida has received following the passage of laws that are hostile to the LGBTQ community, restrict access to reproductive health care, repeal gun safety laws, foment racial prejudice, and attack public education by banning books and censoring curriculum.
@michelleerin said about companies in Florida:
Tell them you won’t be back again until there is change and that you’d appreciate them advocating/lobbying against this agenda. The big corporations could be stopping this.
And they don’t care about me but they care about you. They need the out of state tourists.
So I’m going to start looking up companies in Florida that we would hypothetically visit if we were to travel there and put pressure on them to lobby against the current wave of terrible laws.
2. We shipped what’s become a quarterly allotment of treats for Penny’s students and my heart is warmed. As always I can’t do this alone and I super appreciate friends in the community pitching in to make it happen.
JB is full of ideas for the next allotment already.
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April 11, 2023
Life with JB
Fancy birthday parties are back. JB recently attended a birthday party at a place that charges $500/2 hours for the venue and services. Parents provide the food.
PiC texted me notes and pictures from the party. I’m estimating the party ran about $800. It was for two siblings, so in a rare turn, they saved a bit since this spread would have cost the same whether it was for one or two kids. The siblings have enough overlap between their friend groups for it to work. I have niblings where the siblings are 2 days and 6 years apart so there’s no overlap and the parents have to do two separate events in the same week.
It’s not like we were super frugal for JB’s birthday, I just opted out of having to host 18 kids for the price. We spent $300 on delicious Mediterranean food because we were mostly feeding adults and I wanted enough leftovers to send food home with our guests. Food is love.
Ain’t nothing but the truth (in my life) ⬇️
JB’s current exercise of their independence is insisting that they bathe Smol most nights. Not at all sure why this particular thing struck them as The Thing To Do but whatever. We let them do showers mostly supervised, no standing water for anyone to drown in, and Smol seems to enjoy the sibling time as much as JB enjoys being in charge in a tangible way.
Life with Smol Acrobat
Like JB’s early years, we haven’t done anything beyond some cake for Smol Acrobat’s birthdays so far and I don’t imagine we intend to change that for a while. JB’s first party was age 4. Then the pandemic happened so even if we were willing to do a 6th birthday, it couldn’t happen.
I’m curious to see how Smol feels about parties if and when they start for them. If I remember correctly, the kids start having hosted parties around age 3 in daycare and they’re “invite the whole classroom” affairs. It’ll be interesting to see how this changes (or not) in these days of COVID.
JB was an enthusiastic participant in parties at this age but they were also always making friends anywhere and everywhere they went. Smol has just started making friends but they seem to really be enjoying the small pack they run in at daycare. It’s funny seeing them with humans their age and size, I’m too accustomed to them being the tiny odd one out.
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This describes my life with JB and Smol Acrobat not sleeping pretty damn well.
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Smol is now very into taking their COVID tests. They ask for a rapid test every time they see a box out. Since they are the most exposed at daycare, I always oblige the request even if it’s not at the most convenient time.
Pupdate
Sera has been so gassy these past few months. I forgot to ask the vet about this at her check-up.
She remains exceptionally clingy when the kids are loud. I think she’s really nervous about not being able to tell if they’re playing or in pain or in danger. Their shrieks really do sound the same, no matter the cause.
I suspect she’s also conflicted. Her reaction to JB yelling is to hide with me. Her reaction to Smol yelling or crying is to check on them. When they’re both yelling, she has no idea what to do.
Precious Moments
JB: Smol!! Swim lesson! Put it back!
Smol: ??
JB, deepens voice: PUT IT BACK.
Smol *chirps*: Back?
JB: GOoooooooo!
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Smol is being screechily uncooperative in the cleaning up so JB is retaliating by singing “Smol is a baby and will be a baby foreverrrrrr Smol graduated from baby school but they’ll always be a BABYYYYYY….!”
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There was a joke in All American where Spencer tells his mom they’re going to celebrate her and she needs to be ok with or else he and Dylan will “mom” her to death. Then they start: Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.
1. I very much relate to that.
2. Smol is doing it to JB now!
Smol: JJ!
JB: What?
Smol: JJ!
JB: What?
Smol: JJ!
JB: What?
Smol: JJ!
JB: What??? I’m RIGHT HERE??
Smol: JJ!
Muahahahahah. That’s right. Annoy each other for a change.
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JB: What do you like?
Smol: Eat!
JB: You like to eat?
Smol: Yah.
JB: What else?
Smol: Bood!
JB: Food?
Smol: YAH.
JB: That’s the same thing!
Smol: …….
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Smol, rearranging books in the shelf and having them fall over: space!! Space!!
Sorry kiddo, I don’t think you can order books to give you space. I mean, you can TRY but uh…
April 10, 2023
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 4, Day 10: Is this all the anxiety from last week landing like a lump of clay in my chest? Maybe. Or maybe it’s fresh anxiety for the week. Who knows?
The past three days, I’ve been randomly dizzy through the day and night. Standing, sitting, laying down, nothing stops the dizzy. It’s not enough to make me fall over, it is enough to make the world spin badly and requires a few moments to try to steady up. That’s a known side effect of the naltrexone they prescribed for off label pain control, but I’m taking such a low dose it seems implausible for it to be the problem. My fingers have also been sausages for a week, that might just be a flare-up situation.
I skipped my dose this morning anyway but it doesn’t seem to have reduced the dizziness, lightheadedness, and now nausea. Not a fan!
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I applied for the Wells Fargo credit card for PiC three weeks ago to get the $200 bonus on $1000 spend. They said it would take a little time to approve and approved it a few hours later. The card arrived soon after and I’ve already met the minimum spend.
I applied for myself last week and they again said it would take a little time to approve, but I still haven’t heard back. EXCUSE me. My credit is excellent, what’s the hold up!?
It’ll be some kind of irony if they approve PiC’s but not mine.
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April 7, 2023
1. It’s a good thing I always project our expenses several months out. Daycare has been terrible at officially notifying us of expected increases resulting from schedule changes and I would have been pretty upset to be caught unawares if I just relied on them. Yay for money spreadsheets!
(The irony of my discovery two days after writing this that I forgot to include a huge recurring monthly expense. Oops! No wonder our cash flow looked unexpectedly robust. Artificially is more accurate. Also disappointing because I’d planned to send out a lot more direct aid before the expenses tipped the scale in the wrong direction so strongly.)
Helping folks: Times are rough for a lot of people right now. If you are fortunate and able, we’ve donated to these folks, they could use a helping hand from the community.
@popelizbet is good people and does good work helping survivors of domestic violence. She’s been laid off (no fault to the org) and needs some help to bridge the gap to her next job.
Tami Mitchell (@disabledgirlfi) is in a tight spot. Her senior dog Imri was injured and needs a ramp.
I have a friend juggling school, chronic illness, and a dangerous stalker ex-spouse problem. I’ve been helping her out but due to massive health issues and a few turns of bad luck, she’s unable to make rent this next month and facing homelessness. I’m working out a way to get her some funds.
If you can pitch in, please send it Ruth’s way with the note: for safety/revanche.
Venmo: @RK-Tillman
PayPal: ruthtillman [at sign] gmail.com
Cashapp: $ruthkt
Activism: In a truly open display of racism, “Tennessee Republicans just expelled Justin Jones and Justin Pearson from the state legislature after their powerful advocacy for gun safety legislation.” If you hate it as much as the rest of us do, and can, please help support them.
It’s been a turn upside and shake hard! sort of week.
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April 4, 2023
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from investing in index funds and dividend stocks (all reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks, cash back sites (Rakuten, Mr.Rebates) and affiliate links to Bookshop and Amazon sometimes pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running. The sidebar has ways to support the blog and our charitable giving.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
***
Dividend income. We received $342 in dividends from the stocks portfolio.
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April 3, 2023
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 4, Day 3: What a MONDAY. My 8 hour night shift with Smol Acrobat was miserable – they were fussy, feverish, and incapable of finding a position to sleep in for more than 20 minutes. We ran late because we didn’t have to get JB out the door by 8 am, so I got 20 minutes of uninterrupted sleep but it pushed everything behind. I forgot my pain meds, my jacket, my daycare parent pass. PiC forgot his daycare parent pass and spilled coffee on himself and in the car. Smol Acrobat was tired and withdrawn by the time we dropped them off, and sobbed when we left which absolutely broke my heart. They haven’t cried at dropoff since the first weeks.
Phew. Rough start to the week.
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March 31, 2023
1. It’s been a hard week on most counts but I am managing to keep my blood pressure steady and the internal conflicts to a minimum. More on this next week.
Challenges this week: painsomnia sucks. Insomnia sucks. If it’s not one making me lose sleep, it’s the other.
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