1. FINALLY. I installed WP Armour as a spam blocker after the last three bombed and this one actually works. HUZZAH!
I can finally stop wading through floods of spam comments.
2. I finally found my missing water bottle that had been tucked into a never used pocket of a duffel bag!
3. My stubborn little cucumber seed has FINALLY germinated after 4 weeks of sitting in a heap of soil in the compostable cup. Now I have 2 snap pea sprouts, 2 very very little green bean sprouts and 1 tiny cucumber sprout.
1. Annorlunda Books is back to publish another book by @asakiyume.bsky.social!
2. I’ve been appreciating all the cute animals that Instagram has been serving me even if I’m still baffled why it won’t just show me the people I actually follow.
4. I treated JB and myself to a local conveyor belt sushi dinner which was both cheaper than if we’d tried to feed the whole family and much more fun than if we’d had SmolAc along as they are famously a giant pain in the patootie when it comes to every possible fun dining experience.
Parenting is such a balancing act. I can’t say who was more in the right here, I think it’s probably a percentage of both, but PiC and I had a joking mock-fight this morning over JB.
They have a state project right now. They have to write a paper, give an oral presentation, and make a diorama. JB is artistic enough that they are well-equipped to self manage the diorama so long as we get them the supplies. PiC scavenged a really good box from Costco, I got them a big box of clay for some parts, checked in with some friends for an assist on mini animal figures (no luck there but I asked). I’ve given them home-deadlines that supercede school deadlines to make sure they actually stay on track and won’t end up working on this last minute and then stepped back.
PiC is a perfectionist. PiC has SOOOO many ideas on how this could be good. Really good! And, he’s right, his way would result in a fantastic diorama. (But his way would also take ten times the amount of time and inevitably at some point cause frustration.)
JB asked me if I could remind him that this is their project and their responsibility. They appreciate that he wants to offer ideas buuuuuut please (stuff it) back off. I reminded them that they are perfectly within their rights to tell him themselves, but I did later tell him to get his own state if he’s so enthusiastic about doing a project.
Him: Sooooooo I looked at the diarama. I had ideas.
Me: You need to back off and give them space.
Him: I did! I’m just offering some suggestions!
Me: Well, stop. Let them be their own person. They’ll come to you if they need or want help.
Him: They can be their own person later! They won’t have the ideas if they don’t know what they’re missing!
Me: They won’t BE their own person later if we don’t let them develop personhood now! And they will come to you when they want help!
We’re not actually fighting and I understand his pull just as much as mine. Maybe his even more. I worry that mine means they won’t do the best that they CAN do, b/c he’s right, their perspective is limited. But they need to be independent, too! What’s the happy medium between forcing them to hold the highest standards (and interfering constantly) and being so hands off they don’t develop a sense of quality?
Point for me: They did come to ask me for help a couple of times. I offered an idea (Go collect pinecones to use as “trees”) and I offered a “suggestion” (I can’t find a small enough pinecone! // I think that’s a problem that’s solved by going and looking some more, isn’t it?). They did their thing from there.
He’s a reasonable human so he’s taken my push in the way it was meant and told them that if they would like suggestions, let him know.
Life with Smol Acrobat (5.3)
SmolAc has been really cheesed off about being the youngest lately. No idea why. They’re the most coddled but, oh. Right they want all the same things that JB gets. Hilariously this is the exact same fight I’ve been having with JB for two years ages8-10 where they want all the same things that SMOLAC got (fewer responsibilities, age appropriate responsibilities for SmolAc that they had long outgrown) – but didn’t want to give up any of the privileges of being the older kid.
But some of this difference isn’t a function of age, it’s a function of size and ability. Sometimes JB gets a double patty burger when they’re especially hungry or they order off the adult menu. We allow it because they are a good eater and usually have a decent idea of what they can handle. They’ve had this privilege a pretty long time because they’ve always been an enthusiastic experimental eater. Yes, they miss the mark sometimes and hate what they chose or can’t finish it but we use that as a learning experience for next time. Sometimes concession stand food sucks. We can’t do anything about that except choose “safer” options.
SmolAc is a giant pain to feed because they’re picky and fussy and whiny and easily distracted and takes forever to eat a marginally calorically appropriate meal. We’re not letting them order anything we already know they will let go to waste.
I overheard them telling JB: When I am 100 I can have three burger patties!
Related: They don’t need eyeglasses yet but needed to try on frames because JB was doing it, so couldn’t they? Fine, that’s not hurting anyone. Or when they thought that JB was getting to drink from a syringe for fun but it was because JB’s mouth was so swollen they couldn’t drink from a cup. SmolAc believed that a syringe would cure them of everything, too.
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working. I know from my Mom’s experience that qualifying for or relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA. Aside from that, I aim to do my best to make the most of what we can do while we can.
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Dividend income. We received $544 in dividends from the stocks portfolio.
A couple of our local restaurants are giving 60 points per dollar on purchases now in Fetch so we got $2 cashback through TMobile dining and 2300 Fetch points on the $40 of dumplings. (I don’t know what the conversion rate on the Fetch points is off the top of my head, I’m too tired to figure it out.)
Small business Jack working as hard as he can to pay his rent, laboring under a heart condition.
Lily Meade and her mother are unhoused and she just lost her second book contract and her agent in succession. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless and I haven’t had to do it under as dire circumstances as she’s in.
Sonia Hale has been trying to get back on her feet after divorcing a domestic abuser.
Also feeding folks.
My friend in Alaska works with a refugee center and the facts are life is super bleak right now. Refugees without green cards are no longer receiving SNAP, refugees are no longer safe from DHS detaining them indefinitely regardless of their status, they will likely lose Medicaid sometime this year. This is despicable. We’re supposed to help people get on their feet and this is disgusting and inhumane. In response to this and many other problems created by this administration, the refugee center is working in with local groups to support local farms and provide food to those who need it: What is Grow Local, Give Local?
I’m adding this to my donation list for next week.
1. My two crow friends haven’t been by in weeks but two ravens visited this week so I signaled treats to them, same as I do my crow friends, and they came over!
They are always braver than the local crows and showed it this time by hanging out by the food spot even after they’d cleaned up the offering, and let me come close enough to roll a few additional rounds of treats over to them.
The crows always require me to be a minimum distance away, and retreat as soon as they fill their beaks. They’ll come back for seconds and thirds but hanging out in the vicinity while I approach is still a solid no.
“Now, Ayures keeps an eagle figurine on his desk. When he’s re-stationed, it’s a piece of Unalaska he’ll hold on to — knowing that somewhere out there, an eagle with his cell phone is holding onto a piece of him, too.”
Helping folks: Carrie Mesrobian: “ICE is still here in Columbia Heights. People are still unable to work, feed their families, pay their rent. If you have a couple bucks to spare, please do. If not, just go please meet at least one neighbor. You will want to be ready if this ever comes to your community and that is the first step.” Link to GFM for this community in MN.
Year 6, Day 294: I keep wanting to make a box cake. Then I remember: it’s so mediocre I won’t enjoy it. Which, I’ve always known what it is BUT I liked it just fine. I took advice to use butter instead of oil, milk instead of water, and added an egg to make it better and still, meh. I keep wondering if it’s me or if something changed with the mixes. Everyone else likes them just fine. I used to live week to week for my Friday night box-cake-and-laundry ritual in middle and high school. I want to reinstate the ritual! But not if I can’t enjoy the cake part of it. I’ve gone searching for other ways to make it better. It feels like by the time I’ve added the butter, the extra egg, the ricotta, the pudding pack, maybe I might as well make the whole damn thing from scratch? I can’t remember the last time I did a cake from scratch, if I ever have. But it feels a whole lot more energy intensive than I can afford. Which takes me back to being grumpy about box cake not tasting quite right anymore.
Year 6, Day 295: Last summer I impulse purchased beautiful Maya Kern skirts with enormous pockets. Advertised as “fits a Nintendo DS”! I don’t have a Nintendo DS but I do have a phone and a wallet and keys and kids who always need snacks and water – I foresaw a fabulous future of magical pockets full to bursting. It was going to be my Mary Poppins moment.
However. While the pockets were absolutely not oversold, the waists are a simple elastic and they defeated me. All of my other skirts have defined waists so I never had to think about it before. I could just pair them with pretty much any shirt and they’d be fine.
Maya’s feed is full of lovely women of all shapes and sizes, mostly plus size with more shape than less, looking wonderful in their skirts with a simple top tucked in. When I put it on, and tucked in a tee (because when packing my bags for that weekend I wasn’t thinking beyond “clothes for the top part”, “clothes for the bottom part”) I looked drab and frumpy. Drab, I’m used to. I’m ruler of sweatpants at work world. But frumpy, ugh. During bedrest, I scrutinized the pictures of Maya’s customers: trying to take notes on how they styled their outfits to get some ideas and even asked some of them for their thoughts. The simplest one seemed to be adding a belt so, using the existing customers’ pictures as a guide, off I went shopping for belts in various colors.
Next problem: I’ve never accessorized with belts successfully. I’ve bought belts but they’ve never made an outfit look better. Fashion bloggers made it seem so easy! This week I finally tried on the belts and promptly made the outfit look much worse. I texted bestie pictures to confirm and she both confirmed it did NOT work and gently guided me to use different color combinations whereupon voila! The belts work for me, not against me! Honestly. Only I add accessories and end up looking significantly worse. There’s a whole world of rules around colors and shapes and lines that I’m overdue to learn in order to dress my adult self.
Year 6, Day 296: The to do list is about a mile long and growing. I’m adding things that need to be done faster than I’m able to do them.
So much grumble.
Year 6, Day 297: Bedrest again. I managed to clear my call schedule for the week though, so at least while I’m confined to working from bed, I don’t have to fake my way through video calls. Yay for that.
Year 6, Day 298: Depression has hijacked my brain.
