July 18, 2010
PiC does stand for Partner in Crime, for those of you who were asking. I think it’s fun but he would like it to be known that we are “strictly on the up and up” with every bit of “legit”ness possible. 😀 This is why he cracks me up, he takes the oddest things literally. And it’s true, we’re totally legit around here.Â
In other news, I’ve been thoroughly irresponsible this weekend thanks to an unexpected houseguest. An old friend gave me a call on Thursday asking if I happened to have bedspace, which we do, and made a serious drive over to visit. He’s been housebound for a while so he was in the mood for a lot of city livin’ – which is so very much not me. As it turns out, we compromised pretty well.
We had a lovely dinner out in the city with his old friend which cost $23 each for the traditional 7 courses of beef. I didn’t know there was a Pagolac in the Bay Area – I used to dine there with my family as the ultimate treat for big big things down south. I know now that it’s not really that costly in comparison to gourmet food but it was pretty serious stuff for my fam. We rarely ever ate out so for that lifestyle, that was a splurge. Honestly, I still appreciate the simplicity and still feel a touch spoiled when we eat that meal.
Saturday dawned late with a little bit of sleeping in which was lovely. We cruised the Farmers Market, picking up salami cones, quarter pounds of cheese, the most excellent bread, and a couple of really expensive peaches. We got lost, taking the wrong freeway, and ended up munching our way through all that food watching the waves crash on the rocks of Treasure Island. Best thing? We avoided having to pay the toll for taking the wrong bridge! Lunch, snacks for later: $24
Later that night, we discovered a fantastic Thai restaurant in Oakland, Sabuy Sabuy, that the nearest multiplex cinema had the worst parking structure set-up ever, paid $2 for the privilege of parking for 3 minutes to not see a sold out movie, and THEN paid $10.50 each for a movie ticket at another theater. *smh* Unfortunately, I completely forgot that I had a Regal Cinemas ticket voucher – could have saved a bit of cash.
Today was going to be errand running but we got a late start and after feasting on the leftover peaches, frozen hash browns and other carbs, I’m settling in to finally get some work done. Ahh….leftovers for dinner tonight!Â
There’s something incredibly refreshing about hanging out with friends of old. I’m not terribly social, nor that trusting since college, so it always takes more effort to spend time with people who I’ve not been acquainted with all that long. It’s been lovely catching up with these friends more frequently but I definitely need to find a more economical way to do it. “They’re worth it” is the first step on a pretty slippery slope! And on the eve of my trip down south, I should be more conscientious about spending.
July 3, 2010
One of the hardest things about having moved away from family and friends is that there’s no way I can swoop in and visit whenever someone’s ill, depressed or distressed. That was probably the best thing about being unemployed/freelancing: when situations came up, I could be there for people.
In fact, the way people tend to hermitize when they’re going through rough times (which I’ve been doing myself for three months, so I’m not throwing stones), I’m not even likely to know that they’re having a bad time of it until well afterward.
I’m attending an old friend’s wedding this weekend and it happened to put us in the right place for once. PiC’s sibs were expecting and their wee one was born early in an emergency situation. We’ll be able to visit them in the hospital and help out over the weekend if there’s anything they need.
My fingers are crossed that the health situation resolves soon and they can enjoy their new addition without this extra concern soon.Â
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and an extra day off for those who have Monday off.Â
May 15, 2010
It’s been long enough since any graduations of my own that graduation ceremonies are now utterly unmotivating. Or so I say now. May is a bit early for my taste, but maybe around June I’ll feel the energy from Pomp and Circumstance!Â
In the meantime, there’s something about a) coming back to my old room and b) traveling on a Saturday that makes me just want to hole up like a hermit and so that’s what I’ve done today.
I’ve emerged to spend $30 in pursuit of grooming and feeding. Both were good.
The latter was a catch-me-up session with a dear friend whose family news left me stunned and wandering the mall with unseeing eyes for half an hour until my brain cleared. While there were no deaths, there was a close call, and several other life events as defined by say, your health care provider for qualification to change your plan have or will occur. None of the good ones, though. The best I could do with give great big hugs and wish things would improve, rapidly. Y’know the weird thing? I felt guilty. It all happened after I moved, and I thought, “well crap, my world didn’t completely fall apart aside from that one really tough week, but your family took the hit.”Â
It felt like the odd void of disaster in my family was moved to someone else I love. Crazy, I know.
In any case, I’ll be writing the usual cousin check for a graduation and another four years completed. As always, I’m inmensely proud and scrambling for an appropriate card to tuck it into because darned if I didn’t take the box of cards up north with me when I moved!
And can I say? I’ve missed this crazy SoCal sun!! I’ll have to remember how not to get sunburned tomorrow.
February 10, 2010
Could I have the mic, please?
I must express my sincere thanks to each of you who reads this blog, shares your experiences, and supports me through some of my ugliest, most painful moments.
More than that, several of you whom I don’t yet have permission to thank publicly but would really like to!, were overwhelmingly compassionate when Fabulously Broke and Rina of Gotta Little Space sent out a plea of comradery and community after my post on Sunday. It had been a soul-rending sort of day and I deeply needed to purge the poisons of paralytic despair, never dreaming it would become a call to arms.
FB made the argument for a spot of help better than I ever could have – I couldn’t have justified asking for anything. I trek from today, to tomorrow, to next week, making the best of it. Nobody was compelled, no one was importuned with expectation. But you gave anyway. And you gave with wishes that it could be more, when no matter how much (and never ever “how little”) you gave, the gesture meant the world to me.
I’m not destitute, just heartwrecked. I didn’t have the words, who knows if I ever would, to ask for help for myself but I am blessed with friends who know me well enough to step in anyway.Â
Because my parents are destitute. They’ve lost the joy and freedom that parents earn after raising two children, they’ve stalled in gear, in survival mode. Instead of pride in a job well done, instead of relishing time-mellowed relationships with their adult children, they’re always fretting. Reliance on their daughter must be crippling her future, they think, and so they pinch every penny, unable to partake in the most basic pleasures in life. Rarely taking good enough care of themselves. Asking, needing yet more from me, was destroying the definitions of their parenthood, shaking already fragile psyches.
It is on their behalf, I gratefully accept these helping hands that aren’t about me, that are about helping people over an increasingly rough road until we can make more permanent decisions. Those decisions cannot be made lightly, they take time and ever-limited resources. Resources like extra gas money for twice or thrice weekly 60-mile round trips to the nearest, properly-equipped adult day care center and the invaluable benefits. Resources like that can buy time, a chance for rest, for solace, for reflection and planning. And time can bring a measure of peace and clarity.  Â
A wise friend said, “if we don’t help each other, who will?”
Though I firmly believe the same, that fact has never before come home with such grace and selflessness. For our good fortune, in this wealth of friendship, please know that this will be put to good use, and will be passed forward.
January 15, 2010
Back in November, I enjoyed the pleasure of my friends’ company in their well-appointed timeshare in Hawaii.
There are many financial reasons not to buy a timeshare: they’re expensive, they require a substantial upfront fee, they require substantial annual maintenance fees, and unless you’re willing and able to buy a more premium tier in whatever program you buy into – they’re very hard to unload.
My friends, Dee and Jay, don’t have any of the above problems. In their previous lives as relatively high level executives more than ten years ago, Dee purchased three timeshares which they enjoy to this day.
Another friend Bea, my age, bought a timeshare back in 2005. The math she described to me didn’t sound like a wise purchase but I have the benefit of hindsight.
She took out a loan for $14,000 for the base cost of the timeshare, and pays an additional $1200 per year for maintenance fees. Her timeshare works on a points system so for her purchase she receives 7,000 points per year for redemption towards any property in the system. Redemption works much like hotel points. She has the flexibility to hold points from one year to the next, and to borrow and advance from the upcoming year so she can essentially triple her buying power in a trio of years.
The problem here is that at 23, she owed $60,000 in school loans, and at least $20,000 in credit card debt. When she earned her Master’s degree and was making $60,000/year, not an awful lot of that money was paying down the debts, and she was continually spending more money. She admits that a good deal of that money frivolously, like that time she blew through the mall on a $300 shopping spree. I witnessed that one, she told me about a few others of varying costs.
With that shaky background, she finally hit the skids when she was laid off for several months last year and had to live off her modest savings – unemployment just covered her rent. And now that she’s found the guy she wants to marry (this year), the timeshare costs are keeping her from saving because she’s not making enough to pay all the bills and debts and save.
Worse, due to the stint of unemployment, she’s currently upside down  on the loan so she must sell it for the amount she owes which is much more than other owners are pricing their ‘shares. It’s definitely a buyer’s market.
From what she’s told me, I can identify the basic warning signs that were ignored:
1. Her existing debts were quite significant.
2. There was no plan to quickly eliminate that debt.
3. She hadn’t factored the cost into her cost of living in case she lost her job.
4. The timeshare wasn’t considered “high value” which has more options and can be more easily sold.
5. An insufficient emergency fund.
My instinct when people are in financial difficulties is to jump in and offer to help, but we all know how well unsolicited advice is often taken. If she wants my help, she knows I’m more than happy to lend an ear and a hand, but in the meantime, I’m wondering what I would advise to start her on a debt-free journey.
As a salaried employee, she can count on the paycheck to be consistent but at the same time, that means that she has to look elsewhere to make extra money.
1. Accept that money will be tight for a while
2. Honestly evaluate all wants and needs, and decide what level of commitment you’re willing to make towards paying down the debt
3. Hunker down and start cutting away any fat in the budget (there IS a budget, right?), putting all the money toward debt and savings
4. Make some realistic decisions about the prospective wedding
5. Consider ways to generate extra income to put towards the debt
6. Start an emergency fund
I’d say that given her career choice in the education field and the non-existent hiring she’s described, this is probably enough to work on for the next six months.
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Daily Exercise Update: I found 3 pound wrist/ankle weights at Target, and proceeded to walk in them for an hour. Â A veritable cripple I may be by the time you read this. Â Pity me.
December 21, 2009
This weekend was a social whirlwind. I had the pleasure/pain of organizing lunches with former colleagues and college classmates.
On Saturday, we had BBQ with the former colleague, and the nutty one is as hilariously offbeat as usual. As is her new husband. We got greedy ordering, between the four of us we had 4 full slabs of babyback ribs, an order of tri-tip, 2 orders of mac’n’cheese, french fries, mashed potatoes, and baked beans. I didn’t finish my entire slab as intended, but that just makes for delicious leftovers!
The best part of lunch conversation: inventing zany, improbable uses for a monocle.
Cost: $32, with tip
On Sunday, our group of 7 was incomplete as the Dynamic Darling of the group had family matters to attend, but we still managed to have fun. Three of our group are teachers (middle school and high school), so teacher talk dominated the conversation.
The best parts of lunch conversation:
Lulu turning to me saying, oh! Are you a teacher, too?
Me: No, I’m just mean.
When Sarah recited the whole of Invictus, without batting an eye. And then was awarded a gold star by Sander, the other teacher, at the table.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
—William Ernest Henley
When Sander, a notorious jokester, seated himself next to Kayla, the quietest, shyest of the bunch, to convince her that he’d reformed. After an hour of not picking on her, she laughed out loud at his mockery of someone else and he turned to her with a sly wink, “See? It’s always funny when it happens to someone else, isn’t it?”
At the end of the meal, the bill immediately got stuffed with bills and credit cards and handed to me for the final math. “I’m an English major!” they chorused.
“Guys,” I retorted, “we’re ALL English majors!”
Cost: $14, with tip
Carnavale!
Mighty Bargain Hunter hosts this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance: the Parts of Speech Abuse Edition.
My post on Holiday Traditions was included.
Nominations!Â
The Plutus award nominations are now open! The nominations will remain open for three weeks.
December 16, 2009
I have a friend serving in military right now, and he’s stationed in the cold of Afghanistan for at least several more months this tour. Last week, my biggest worry was that I’d never get to sleep. A couple weeks ago, his base was rocket attacked and an entire side of the base was damaged.
So I did what I do best: offered him a care package with any food, candy or snacks he wanted. (He wants.)
Hint: I’m told that hot chocolate packages are care mail GOLD.
If you’re looking to send a care package to a member of the military, pick up a flat rate APO box and customs forms from your local post office, I was quoted a rate of under $15. The packages are taking about ten days to arrive when posted from the West Coast, though the holidays may slow that delivery time down a bit.
If you don’t have a special family member or friend and would like to send something anyway, check out Any Soldier for information on how to send care packages to the military. [Thanks to The Lost Goat for the link.]