April 23, 2008
Meg’s post on the American work ethic and who would benefit from working in an environment where they were only paid for what they produced for a period of time, and the comments, really resonated with me today.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been doing a lot of managerial work for the past 18 months, and that includes training the employees I helped select, and directing them in their work. When they have a semi-slow day like today, they’re at loose ends, and aren’t familiar enough with the routine tasks that are often pushed to the side during deadlines. Their automatic response is: “I could go home. At 10 am.” My automatic response is: “Get your notepad and sit down. I’m going to train you on something new. There’s always something to do, or something to learn.”
The reason I’m the one in this seat of responsibility is because of that attitude. The reason no one wants my position is because no one else has my work ethic.
Here’s the dichotomy: It’s good in that, based on my work record, I can command a much higher salary in this field than I’d get elsewhere at my age and three years of experience. But, the recognition and smoother work relationships that ought to have developed thanks my decision making and efforts have not. Considering my tripled workload, I should have been promoted and received more raises than I have, by now. So, it’d be one thing if this job translated into the kind of progress that Miguel’s made:
To the point of the post, there is no doubt that people treat their work very differently when they have accountability – either positive (pay tied to results) or negative (keeping job tied to results). I’ve always sought situations where accountability is taken to the extreme because this is usually where the maximum pay-off resides. And it has served me well.
But because this path has become stagnant, I’ve realized that I’ve allowed the job, because of my work ethic, to consume my life for an unworthy goal. It didn’t start out that way, but that’s what it’s become, possibly due to external influences on our office.
That was starkly evident at our Christmas dinner. We went around the table, at Big Boss’s behest, to say something about everyone. The general theme was everyone’s personalities and how they interacted with one another. C1 and C3 are the gigglers, they laugh at anything and everything. They catch every pop culture reference known to man or beast. C2 often exists in her own universe, and when she emerges, is either the smartest or funniest person in the room.
The theme of my roast? Little Boss: How I could do better. Everyone else: How hard I work. How my life revolves around this office. My knowledge. My function as a reference for every question. My working like I was an indentured servant, or like I was profit-sharing.
It’d be flattering, I suppose, if I didn’t realize that it’s also a sign that I’m fast becoming the cautionary tale, or the precautionary tale of the dark side of this moon. Little Boss is already the cautionary tale of someone who rose in the ranks based on this kind of work ethic, and continues to sacrifice his family for a place that doesn’t appreciate him nearly enough. That’s what I could become in ten years if I were foolish enough to stick around that long. And you know something? If Little Boss was half as interested in growing me as an employee as I am in growing my team, I’m pretty certain that I’d be the perfect employee: willing to bust my butt for as many hours as it took to get the jobs done, and feeling appreciated.
There’s a fine line between being a great employee and a sucker. While I don’t regret putting my best effort forward because I always want to be proud of my work, and I can always learn skills to take home, there’s no need to remain married to this job if it’s evident that there’s no room for growth. That’d be a sucker’s move.
April 4, 2008
Good News: Friend looked at my car yesterday, as did his dad, and both agreed that the damage has not compromised the structure of the undercarriage. Lots of scrapes, more in some places than others, and half the bumper’s gone, but it’s just the cosmetic bits. She’s safe to drive without repairs for now. At some point I’ll replace the bumper but I’ll do that myself (er, by that I mean, Friend will teach me now), as well as repairing or replacing the scraped up frame rail.
Bad News: Drama, drama, drama-rama at work. Little Boss has been very sensitive, and feels like the staff doesn’t defer to him enough.
Unfortunately, this is a sticky situation because he started off trying to be everyone’s friend when they were hired and didn’t establish a rapport of authority like I did (I’m boss first, friend second), he has a double standard when it comes to the females (get away with everything) and males (don’t get credit for anything), and hasn’t been doing his job as a manager because he’s stuck catering to Big Boss.
The list goes on, but he also shares many of the traits that it appears SingleMa’s former boss possesses. He’s instigated a “quarterly discussion and review” in which he spent most of one person’s review commenting on other employees. Surprise!
And it’s my turn today! Can’t wait to hear what he’s interpreted as my failure to support him, when in fact, I’m doing the managing that he doesn’t have time for.
Good News: I’ve been getting random free stuff 🙂
Bad News: Bosses offered us a free, floater vacation day because we had to work a holiday two months ago without extra compensation, and then tried to take it away from C1, the only one who’s had opportunity to take it, yesterday. “Forgot”? HMPH! Don’t even go there!
Good News: I’m meeting a lot of new visitors here lately, and it’s great to have my loyal readers contributing to the conversation regularly.
Bad News: My personal life is still a major jumble. I’m definitely taking some time to let things settle out, but it’s taking way too long for my taste. It’s probably not good that I keep thinking I want to quit my job and home, and take off at the end of the year to who-knows-what-‘n’-where, though.
Good News: I have great couple friends who are easy and fun to third-wheel with. That’s usually a weird position to be in, but they’re great, and are perfectly willing to rescue me from my house randomly.
Bad News: My parents still need a LOT of training. They keep doing things I specifically ask them not to do.
Good News: It’s Friday!!
March 14, 2008
It’s Friday. I got to work almost an hour earlier because I had to drive in, which means leaving before predawn. You know how predawn is a murky sort of light? Before that it’s just DARK.
Randomly during the drive, I started seeing black spots in the center of all the lights in the distance. The gals at work tell me that my brain was still asleep and couldn’t be bothered to fill in the outlines of what I was seeing.
Saw a car on fire on the freeway. Seriously, ON FIRE. I’ve never looked at accidents driving before, but there were real flames coming off what remained of that car. Yikes!!
Don’t know what I was thinking: Planned to call the insurance agent today, and don’t have my claim number, insurance agent’s phone number, or anything with me. Duh.
Still haven’t called the city … and it doesn’t matter because they’re closed on Fridays. *sigh*
Planning to go out with the girls from work tonight as part of my current drive to get out and try out this nightlife business. Am really zonked, so I’d better get a nap in before we go out.
Big and Little Bosses committed us to the nearly impossible for the next week and a half, and the onus is on me to organize the heck out of my colleagues, without burning anyone out on any single task and compromising their quality of work, and make sure that it all runs like clockwork. Also, the onus is on me to check everyone’s work, and put in tons of hours this weekend to make that Sunday night deadline. *grrrrr* If we miss a single beat, and screw this up, we’re not going to get paid for all the overtime we’ve put in. Oh wait, if I screw up. *more grrrrr* But you know what? We can do this. And they’re going to pay us all. And that’s going to revive my e-fund. All good. And even better, this means I definitely don’t need to or can’t take on a second job right now – no time, and OT will be coming in! Yay! (I must be punch drunk already, I’m looking on the bright side now? Heh.)
We have leftover pizza and chicken wings in the fridge. Wanna guess what I’m going to do on my 15 minute break? It won’t be working out in that cold! 🙂
February 29, 2008
Received:
1. Chase Rewards Check: $50
2. Reimbursement from Coworker: $64
I’ll make a long overdue stop at the bank, write a check and pay some bills this weekend. It looks like I have to take a substantial chunk out of my e-fund to get through the past two and next
two weeks after all. 🙁
Little Boss has been out all week (in HAWAII, the lucky so-and-so) +
Admin Asst has been either late or not showing up at all during the week + Coworker 1 was out sick three days =
Ms. Miniducky wearing everyone’s hats! We made a contraction of all our four names to represent my roles. 😛 I think I did a relatively decent job of making sure that all Big Boss’s needs were served, that all the projects were prioritized sensibly every morning, that Coworker 1’s work was either redirected or maintained in her absence, and that the interns were productive. Little Boss may find plenty of things wrong with how I did things in his absence, but I think I did very well considering the circumstances.
Grief is a very weird animal…. several times this week, I’ve been struck, literally stopped in my tracks, by intense memories of BoyDucky’s ordeal and their family’s grief, and my own sense of loss and incomprehensible pain of the past six months. It comes and goes in waves, and all I can do is blink through the tears and try to breathe. Inconveniently, it happens most often at work. I guess the bright side of that is that once I breathe through the pain, I’m not alone, and can shuffle through some work or talk to coworkers to distract myself.
February 21, 2008
Ahhh, finally home again. We drove, the five of us from the office, from the LA area to Vegas on Sunday for our semi-annual power retreat, and are finally back five days later, spent.
It was one heck of an intense trip. For the first time ever, our office was running the agenda and giving the presentations, and I tell you what, that was nerve-wracking. Lots of pros and cons.
Having to go at all was a con because as you know, I’ve been sick for three weeks now. The two weeks prior were NOT spent in bed recuperating, they were spent in the office preparing my presentation, managing the office’s workflow to get as many projects up to speed right up ’til we left and preparing the work assignments for those staying behind so we didn’t lose a week of productivity. That insanity was even MORE stressful than the usual work weeks. Definitely did not help the cough, sleep, or energy levels.
The schedule was incredibly packed. We were to meet between 7:30 to 8:30 if we wanted to eat, and be ready to begin the meeting at 8:30 sharp. Meetings ran until after noon, we had 20-30 minutes to walk to our rooms and drop our stuff, and turn right back around to meet downstairs for a working lunch from 1-3. Sometimes until 3:30. Or 4. The kicker was that we stayed in the Venetian (more about that later), which meant that it usually took at least 15 minutes just to get to your room! That place is massive.
Regardless of when lunch ended, or when we got back to our rooms, we met again at 6:30 for cocktails before dinner. And then it was a semi-social, semi-working dinner from 7:30 until 10:30 or 11:30. We frequently didn’t get back to our rooms until after midnight. My bosses are crazy, because I think they usually spent half the time available before dinner, or more, walking around the casino or shops talking business.
The meetings were draining as well. One person would present and 11 other people would randomly interrupt as questions and ideas occurred to them. We needed half the group to be taking notes throughout to make sure we actually remembered what was said at the end of the day.
On the upside, our standard rooms at the Venetian were opulent. I practically lived in my bathroom. The floor space in there was bigger than my room at home, before taking into account the bathtub, glassed shower, and separate toilet room. Oh, and the vanity, in case the wall length mirror over the double sinks was insufficient. *swoon* I loved that bathroom. Loved it. The one thing that made the insane days and nights worth it was the fact that I managed to take a hot hot hot bath every single afternoon before dinner. It could be a ten or fifteen minute bath, I didn’t care. Getting to soak my poor abused feet was absolute heaven, and made it possible to get up and go for another 6 six hours again.
Oh, I also had a bed. A lovely king-sized bed with four pillows. More heavenly! If my cough settled for the night, I was set up for a grand night’s sleep.
Our meals were excellent as well. We were treated to lunches at the Mesa Grill, Olives, and Mario Batali’s Enoteca and dinners at Bradley Ogden, and Le Cirque. I have never (and probably will never again) eaten so well or so lavishly in my entire life. *ahem* I’ve also never drunk so much in such a short period of time. It’s very likely that I had more to drink during this meeting than I had during my entire college career. Does that say something sad about my social life in college or something disturbing about my job? 😉
And of course, we can’t not talk about the gambling and shopping!
Coworker 1 had never gambled before in her entire life, so we snagged a few ones from the boss and colleagues, and set her up with a few penny slot machines. Yeah, we’re high rollers.
Another colleague handed me a twenty to share with the gals, so we used $6 the next day and while they lost it all, I managed to win $9.60 on my second dollar. I’m no fool, I cashed that out right quick 🙂 So I came home up $24 in cash.
As for shopping …..
You already know about my American Apparel splurge. The gals went to Express and Guess, and picked up some more work clothes on sale. I abstained from that trip because I just couldn’t see spending any more money. The bosses bought us bathrobes as our souvenirs.
And while walking with the bosses, we discovered the women’s clothing store, Theory. That’s a story for another day, though.
November 7, 2007
They say, (and I don’t know who, but I’m going to quote, roughly, from David Weber), “If you have one problem, a solution may be difficult to find. If you have many problems, often, they will solve each other.“
My real life application isn’t tied up with a ribbon or anything, but it sort of worked out that way.
Little Boss and I had a chat outside today. It was more a ranty-rant at him about the workload and difficulties in accomplishing certain tasks uninterrupted. I hadn’t even mentioned the problems with trying to schedule my doctor’s appointments.
He offered to allow the office to take two work-away-from-office days so that they could fulfill their parts of my project! The benefits:
1. Getting a good amount of work done in one concentrated swoop. That puts the pressure back on me to pull together their parts of the project the following day, but the work would be done!
2. I can spend my day catching up on the whole chunk of project that’s been piling up on my desk without interruptions.
3. Finally, I could schedule my doctor’s appt on one of those two days and not “miss” any work because I’m saving 3 hours of commute time a day just by working from home!
Now, how is THAT for good news?
And in the mail this evening? A letter to MaDucky scheduling her follow-up MRI scan. *big sigh*
Item C [work] has an action plan, check. Item D [Ma’s medical] has a next step scheduled, check. Item F [my medical] is on the calendar. And I just spoke with my brother who promises to have the car back here tomorrow afternoon, so I will have transportation on Thursday to accomplish the above tasks, check, check. Hallelujah, praise Heaven. Well, not just yet, but I will if he shows up. Item G [wedding stuff]… I will print out at work, having received permission from Little Boss to do so.
Bills were paid last night, I’m scheduled to get the ‘brows groomed tomorrow and booked my ticket, using my two Southwest credits from previously cancelled trips, to see BoyDucky for some good ole couple time at the end of this month. It’s a shame I won’t be able to fly up a third time this year to claim that freebie award ticket from their Buy Three (in CA), Get 1 Free! promotion, though. That would have been really nice.
October 26, 2007
For those of you who don’t already know this, I hate speaking in front of crowds. (And three is definitely a crowd.) I avoid it even more assiduously than I would the plague or getting my sandal caught in the back wheel of a racing motorcycle. In fact, if you gave me the choice between speaking in front of a lot of people, or hanging out in an enclosed area with a possibly rabid critter, the odds are great that I’d choose the rabid critter. Unless it was a snake. But they can’t have rabies, so that’s beside the point. I’m rambling because even the thought of public speaking makes me nervous.
The point is, I hate hate hate public speaking. And that brings me to what I’ve agreed to do two Saturdays hence. CoworkerFriend called to tell me that he was offered a position as a proctor for the SATs and knew of another slot open, if I were interested. Ever since I lost the overtime privilege at work, paychecks have been about a quarter of their usual value. An extra hundred bucks, give or take, didn’t sound so bad, until I realized that it entails speaking. Speaking in front of adolescents. A lot of them.
Yes, I’m just to read instructions, check a timer and write on the board, but it still requires being at the front of a classroom and “orating” to a bunch of kids. Like back in high school. You know, where I really LOVED that kind of attention being paid me.
Argh! There so many other things, anonymous computery things, that I’d much rather do using much more effort and much less talking out loud to people I don’t know.
Why am I so nervous? Heckling? Kids not listening? Tripping over my own words? I do that sometimes, on the phone. I’ll get some mangled version of my name out and hope the other person doesn’t notice. It’s still pretty embarrassing, though. I suppose I wouldn’t care about any heckling, I could theoretically just kick the kid out. Honestly, with some of my friends, heckling should be par for the course. I just get the shivers thinking about all those eyes, staring at me. Yuck yuck yuck! And no, I can’t just imagine they’re all in their underwear, they’re underage so that’s even more wrong than usual. *igh*
Well, I’ve been all wrought up about how I’m still awful at toasts, and that’s just in front of a small group of people I see everyday. I obviously need to break this phobia somehow, what better way than to do it in front of a group of kids I’ll never see again? And it’s not like I’ve got to do anything original, I just have to read off a booklet. *breathe* I can do this. Really. I can. Maybe this will be the beginning of the end of my phobia? Wish me luck!
