There was the insta-rage lady at the newly open, already crumbly pizza joint in Chelsea. A brown paper bag and crumbs on the bench seat set off a tirade, one part speculating, two parts accusatory, regarding the probable lupine parentage of previous patrons. There was the bewilderingly affronted lady, forced to stop for our street crossing when she came to the intersection and stop sign. Evidently had it not been for our outrageous legal use of the crosswalk, she’d no intentions of stopping. And then there was the bellowing chess player on the top step at Union Square. Screaming and shaking his righteous fist at the sky, he refused to be judged by an unseen, unidentified, unprintable word of an unspeakable origin. This was the New York I expected: a raucous landscape textured by the terse, the taciturn, displaced, misplaced fear or anger. My most vivid memory of New York to date was an extremely hostile woman on the subway, shoving her way through the mass of transit passengers and cursing out my luggage. This fit my mental picture.
It wasn’t until 45 minutes after boarding my return flight to Los Angeles, 45 minutes of creeping along the tarmac with no real intent to take off, that the real New York really settled into my bones.
Entering the city, the strobelights of the brilliant, the driven, were blinding. Time and again I was told: New York is the best city in the world. The food, top flight theater, medical centers, art, music, everything here was the best. [It’s worth the rent!] Residents and transplants alike resonate with an instinctive fight to survive, thrive and endure. To create, produce, dominate. It’s dirty, rough, very rough on the senses of a tenderfoot. The incredible anonymity and isolation was evident in the straight-ahead stares of so many fellow pedestrians, alien glares and snips and bites of the yellow cab drivers. It’s a prizefighter’s city, in a way. Nothing here comes without sacrifice and ever higher prices. How much a sacrifice, and of what, remains a point of pride among those who live(d) there. This I felt to be a true challenge of surviving this city.
Truth be told, I harbored a lurking, nibbling away fear that on July 1st, I’d arrive and immediately wish myself away, discover that I desperately wanted a job in New York while desperately hated the city. On July 4th, I could hardly fathom how complete strangers, incomplete strangers and acquaintances could be almost uniformly gracious, welcoming and friendly. By July 6th, I’d tentatively accepted that this strange city was stranger still than I’d imagined. By July 7th, I’d gone so far as to ask a random lady, another subway rider for an assessment of my appearance pre-interview. I was that nervous. And she was that nice, to approve my get-up and wish me well.
After extending my stay, I pointed half a dozen strangers, tourists all, along their way. I discovered that the subway system was navigable and had only gotten completely turned around underground twice. The subterranean treks, in no small part thanks to dressing for extreme humidity, were endlessly amusing as I muttered directions to myself, gesturing as needed, blending all too well the mentally unstable denizens of the streets. I still haven’t got the subways and all the stops down, but I note for posterity that the entrance at 60th and Lexington as an easy alternative to 59th and Lex is a lie, while the 59th and Lex escalator qualifies as Mt. Kinley when it’s not working. During one of many thunderstorms the first week, fellow pedestrians similarly caught without umbrellas chatted easily about the weather and their interrupted days. Again, I cannot believe the number of people who asked me for assistance. I charged my phone three times a day, I was using the Google Maps and subway app so much.
Most of all, the personal and professional encounters during my stay were phenomenal. Despite my otherwise near hysterical insistence on anonymity, I don’t regret meeting up with fellow bloggers. To the contrary, they were highlights of my visit. Friends I’d gotten to know through months or years of correspondence were gracious hosts in every sense, offering their time generously and without hesitation. I’ve never been so flattered than when a highly placed professional judged, “After speaking with you for ten minutes, I would call you a leader, not just a manager.” Another acquaintance, fast becoming a friend and mentor, then topped that compliment the following week with, “You have a writer’s voice. You have potential.” Both individuals followed up their statements with recommendations and introductions to their professional networks, suggesting they weren’t just feeding me a line. And who am I to merit that kind of attention? Nobody to them, not before that day. Certainly I understand cronyism and nepotism, I’ve seen it many times in previous employers, but I must conclude that these are true scholars of the pay it forward philosophy. Good people to learn from in so many ways.
What’s that saying? “New York: if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” Is it true? Perhaps.
I feel like I’m slowly coming back from a foreign country, that this New York of 2009 is intricate and exhausting. The city can really wring it out of you, but I’ve met so many genuinely nice, thoughtful, interesting friends in my short time here that I have a sneaking suspicion that I’ve learned to love the complexity at least a little bit.
Many friends have been ever-so-generous in covering meals for me, and it’s making it a tad difficult to repay them for their hospitality by taking them out to dinner. Not all of them are footing bills, but those who have have each covered a meal more than once in the past several days. The meals weren’t prohibitive, I would most certainly do the same for them if they were unemployed and job hunting, but I still can’t shake a bit of guilt at allowing them to pay for me when they live in one of the most expensive cities. This trip was my choice to make and if I couldn’t afford to feed myself, I shouldn’t have come. I’ll have to think of another way to thank them.
On the food front, I’ve had my street vendor chicken and rice, hot dog, pretzel, and a slice of authentic NY cheese pizza. And at a dollar a slice, I should have had three!
The clothing and makeup were totally unplanned. 6 days of leisure before the interviews was a terrible idea and that was brought firmly home when my skin’s unevenness was made ever so much more evident due to all the sun I was getting. Imagine, I’ve gotten more sun in NY this past week than the last 4 years back in Southern California! Chew on that for a while.
Originally, I planned not to shop because I’d promised to bring a moving friend’s clothing back from NY – instead I discovered that he’d managed to stuff his entire suitcase full and that I had another round of interviews with the same company on Wednesday with nary a decent top to wear.
Off shopping we went! We found a cute dusty rose cropped cardigan at H&M which I paired with a borrowed white tank and the suit skirt. Worked quite well, actually. Yesterday, we turned up a surprisingly comfortable pair of skinny jeans at Forever 21 for a mere $12.50, and made up for the two bargains with the purchase of a very pricey undergarment. For what it’s worth, this is the first such item that actually fits well. One or two more pieces, later, will round out the collection.
With two more days to go, I’m still not sure if I could live here. I’ve enjoyed my time here, but is that just because I’ve experienced a pretty tourist/resident-light version of the city? I’m told that my trip coincides with a fairly quiet time for the city. At least I know that I can get around without getting too hopelessly lost, riding the subway just about everywhere for a dozen days will garner you at least that much ability, the rest will follow if I get an offer.
Now, to decide what sounds good for dinner tonight ….
**Note: I don’t think that NYC is actually affordable, or anything, don’t get me wrong. That cocktails average $13, that burgers are nearly $10, or that a regular pizza is in the neighborhood of $30 is pretty much insane to me. That doesn’t even start to touch the costs of living here. Yikes!
This is cheating a wee little bit, late as it is, but I’ve been using mostly cash here, funded by the sale of the iPod, with a few credit card purchases so the numbers are fairly accurate.
Holy crapola. There’s nothing like being a whole 2 grand over the six figure mark to make me want to stop spending RIGHT NOW. I’m going to take a moment and enjoy the fact I managed to hit those numbers before thumping down to earth with the realization that I’ve just applied for unemployment a couple days ago and I’m still in NYC with a belly to feed. Oh holy cow.
Being on vacation has turned my brain to mush: I constantly lose track of days, and haven’t sent out my resume to the guy who requested it week before last. I’ve only been slightly connected via Twitter/phone and it’s been really fun, but a little unsettling as well.
There’s a bit of me that wants to extend this trip for another few days. $150 change fee…. a few more days of subway travel …. ??
I still haven’t gotten feedback or follow-up from the place I really really want to hear from, and I have a couple anemic freelance options to consider.
One is a lock but it’s just a favor for a family friend, a one-off deal that I could probably complete in a solid week.
The other is something I really don’t want because it’s going to a huge mess to navigate (workload + politics — TONS of politics) but it may come down to that or unemployment. I’d rather put off the latter for a while longer if there’s a solid financial advantage to making this commitment. We’re in talks this week. A very “we’ll see” situation.
I’ve done my best to keep maintain Zen-mode since the end of last month but it’s slipping from my grasp like a wiggly water toy you play with at the Discovery Channel Store.
The delicate fabric of that calm is revealed when those closest to me ask the most innocent questions about my plans or job situation. It feels something like a vise of atmospheric pressure closing in, reminding me that I still haven’t got my life ordered properly and by the way, young lady, what do you intend to do with your life when you grow up? I’m not sure which movie character menacingly delivers that line, but I’m properly chastised/chagrined every time.
No answer, I’m afraid. But I’ll repair the bastions of calm and move along my day. Trying not to fret too much about the terrifying maw of a completely unscheduled life after a date three weeks into the future.
Nickel’s article, Economy Got You Down? Pig Out! made me laugh out loud. Just this weekend, I was taken to the grocery store for snacks for the week because, “food is the only thing that makes you happy, at work.”
Too right!!
Forget the whole losing-your-job bit, now I have to listen to coworkers scheming to move their cash out of accounts to “prove insolvency” so they can claim their bit from unemployment and food stamps. Yeah. They’re planning to really make the most of this situation by defrauding the system to the highest extent. Money, and keeping food on the table, is not the least of my worries, but this is just wrong.
Anyway, since there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it whilst they’re plotting, I’m preventing an irrational reaction by feeding my soul. And not incidentally, my mouth 🙂
So if Nickel’s citation is true, “The calmer you feel, the less likely you’ll do something irrational,” bring on the comfort food!
This week’s treats stashed in my “drawer of inappropriate starches” (Topher, Dollhouse):
Trader Joe’s Triple Ginger Cookies Lemon Zest Luna Bars Middle Eastern flatbread, and tzatziki (which is actually quite good in a breakfast burrito!) Honey whole wheat pretzel sticks
Hmm…I’m lacking salty stuff. I’ve finally developed a taste for salt and vinegar chips which I used to hate! FB keeps talking about golden Oreos on Twitter, though, and that’s tilting the imbalance further in the direction of sweets.
I’ve also soothed my agitated soul by watching Psych and Burn Notice during my off hours. Friends with a ready supply of DVDs and comic books are great, I never watch TV in my normal life so this is like a free, at-home hiatus.
Of course, then I get to figure out how to repay friend for the loan and support. ’tis a cycle!
What nice things are you doing for yourselves these days?
MSN Money’s 6 financial milestones before 30 seem a little…. well …. blah. They really don’t light up the fire of my imagination, really.
1. Scale back the credit cards. 2. Own a home — or have a plan. 3. Have skills. 4. Give money away. 5. Know thyself. 6. Know smart people.
It’s not bad advice, it’s just kind of vague and run of the mill.
Then again, who am I to complain in this economy, right? Let’s see what we can do to personalize it a little, instead.
1. I don’t have credit card debt, and have canceled a number of cards that I don’t use. Where possible, the credit lines were transferred to the remaining cards to preserve the illusion of higher credit available. This inadvertently messed up my insurance premium refund, unfortunately, because they credited an account that no longer exists! We’ll see if I can get the insurance company to cut a check.
2. Um, I have a whole hundred dollars put away in lieu of a plan. So a plan might be a good idea. In fact, this will regain line item status on my next budget whenever I land a new job. More concretely, I would like to have my down payment (20% of course) and house maintenance saved, apart from my emergency fund. That’s a lot of cash!
3. Oh, I have skills. They’re good ones, too. But they could use some flair and I do have a plan for that. Girlfriend of mine has the Adobe Creative Suite with extra downloads and she offered one set to me when the new laptop was up and running. It is, now, so it’s time to take her up on that offer and start learning how to Photoshop and maybe even InDesign. And a friend’s friend is a web designer who might be willing to teach me some of his awesome designer skills; that would come in handy in any number of ways. Can you say (watch out, corporate speak!) value-add?
4. I’m guessing that giving money to the landlord, the electric company, the city, and gas companies don’t count, huh. Nor does feeding my family. I could and must do better here. In the past, the NYC medics were recipients of my generosity, as best as I could afford, as well as my extended family. My goal is to comfortably afford to give an average of $50/month. I know it’s not much, but it’s a start and y’know, family to feed and house. Another budgetary line item.
5. Ok, this one is a little tougher than it sounds. For me, anyway. It’s easier to know my goals, my challenges, and my shortcomings than myself as a whole person. It’s been years since I’ve asked myself what I wanted or dreamed, and I’ve only just begun to explore that area this year. Turns out that I’m a bit more complex than my finances: I am not my money, nor am I my family or my job. So what am I?? This could take a while ….
6. Yep, I know all of you smarties, and my high school friends are no mental slouches either. I like being surrounded by smart people, and sometimes even smart people who disagree with me. 😉 This is great advice because I firmly believe that you rise and fall to the levels of the people around you; so you can only rise naturally if you’re learning from wise people in a learning environment. It’s a tough climb, and lonely to boot, otherwise.
Items 3-6 are all actions I can begin now and should continue well past my thirties. I’d love to be well on my way to achieving Item 2 in the next three years, and have a more developed career plan on the table by that time as well.
Let’s not limit this to your thirties: what’s on the horizon for you? What does your five or ten year plan include?
It feels like I’ve been on a 12-step program for pending resignations and layoffs. Despite recession fatigue, and familynonsense, the following plan has kept me on track even while I internalized the news, and updates on a daily basis.
1. When signs point toward instability, tell no one connected to your current workplace that you’re looking unless you absolutely trust them and they’re a good resource. Commence resume polishing and editing.
2. Contact mentors and trusted colleagues for feedback on resume and verify that your previous references are still relevant and willing to serve.
3. Form a mental target: what are you looking for and why? It’s very important not to look at it as something you’re running to, in desperation, or a means of escape from something awful. It can be, there’s no doubt, just don’t let that be the motivation that fuels your search. Make it positive: make it about where you want to go next, what new challenges you’re looking for, what inspires you? This may not be concrete in your mind. It certainly wasn’t in mine three or four months ago, but it’s solidified as I’ve refined my search and dealt with the everyday challenges.
4. Speaking of everyday challenges, don’t forget to do your job to the best of your ability while you still have one! If you’re using this 12-step program, you’re still employed so you should stay that way until you are ready to move on. Give your employer no reason to target you for an early layoff and derail the plan. Paychecks are good.
5. Search relevant job boards, selecting possibilities that most closely match your new goals.
6. Refresh: take a few minutes a day, or a lot of minutes every couple of days to refresh yourself: take a walk, play with your pets, do anything that’s not work and job related. Juggling job hunting with maintaining your existing job and keeping everything together can be intense.
7. Cover letters! When you have a group of possible jobs that you’d like, write or edit your existing cover letters to address the requirements of each job. It took me about three months and several fresh starts to hit my stride. Templates are great, but only once you have a strong basic template to work from; some of those standard letters I’ve seen are weak sauce. You’re not weak sauce, don’t let your letter say otherwise!
8. Request recommendation letters. I prefer to keep hard copies with my resume in case of interview.
9. Prep your interview skills: review possible questions and answers with a friend. Mentors are wonderful people – if they’re able and willing, draw on this resource! This is great for your confidence in phone interviews which should then lead to face to face interviews.
10. Prep your interview wardrobe! I nearly had an aneurysm when I was asked to pick an interview date, and I still didn’t have a THING to wear. (I’ve outgrown the old suit.)
11. Repeat steps 4-7 until you have need of 9 and 10. Very importantly: keep on saving your pennies, nickels and dimes while working toward your next step. The healthier your emergency fund, and the safer you feel financially, the more confident you’ll be. That directly translates to better negotiations, and a more discerning job hunt. Remember, if employers can smell your fear or desperation, you’re either a less respected candidate or not a candidate at all. Either way, bad times for you!
12. Knock ’em dead!
Aside from some fretting, (or a LOT of fretting sometimes) it’s been slow but steady progress. I count my blessings where I can find them:
~ I’ve got strong recommendations ~ I’ve got great skills in my area, and a very strong work ethic ~ I’m setting up freelance work starting now to keep an income stream no matter what happens here. ~ I’ve got my readers and fellow bloggers for moral support and cheerleading – priceless!
If anyone has advice or stories to share, please feel free to do so!
